Pure love and agency

SAN DIEGO — I have a lot of thoughts and emotions right now. I honestly had an internal debate whether I wanted to write home or not this week. Of course, the Holy Ghost bonked me over the head and told me, "don’t you dare, your mother needs a letter!" The Holy Ghost is ALWAYS right.

We just got back from what is called a "sisters retreat", where all of the sisters in the mission met at the Clayton's home and had lunch. We learned from President, Sister Clayton and the training sisters. Sister Clayton spoke. I don’t really remember what she said, but the tears rolled down my cheeks as I looked around at the beautiful scene of a roomful of Sisters in Zion.  My heart hurts at the thought that my time is almost finished here in San Diego. What an amazing journey this has been.

I sometimes get the time to ponder about the plan God has for us. I have had a few of those moments this week.

The first thing I was pondering about was the love Heavenly Father has for us. 

Yesterday, I was teaching a man who doesn’t leave his home, he plays video games all day, and does drugs and alcohol. His father is Mormon, so he asked if we could come and teach him more about the Church. At first glance, my immediate reaction was, "There is no way this man will accept or live the gospel." The Spirit kindly chastised me, and I cringed thinking, "Who are you, Sister Newman, to say who can and cannot be changed by the Atonement of Jesus Christ?" 

I said a silent prayer, and pictured him being sealed to his future spouse. During the lesson, I told him that I knew we didn’t know about him, but we cared about him and loved him. He surprised me by saying. "How can you?" Heavenly Father opened my heart, and somehow, some way, he helped me love this man just as He did. That is how I know that God loves all of us.

I was also pondering a lot about agency this week. Agency is such an important part of the Plan of Happiness. God will not and never has forced us to do anything. I have seen that this week with many of our investigators.

Selina watched the Joseph Smith movie and explained that she knew she needed to read the Book of Mormon to find out it was true, only to tell us this morning that she would be too busy to learn. 

Lupita, whose sister is a Mormon, is sitting in lukewarm water, not caring either way if the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored again. 

Celeste decided that she felt too much pressure and won't answer any of our calls. 

Every single one of them, just prior to their decision to ignore and turn away, had a spiritual experience as the Holy Ghost testified that what we were saying was true. As much as it hurts my heart, I know that they have to be able to choose. I wait patiently for the day in heaven, when I can sit by their side, wrap my arms around them, and tell them how grateful I am that they are here.

Lastly, I have come to realize how perfect this plan is. We just taught Brady the Plan of Salvation. At the end of the lesson, Sister Jarrett asked what he thought of the Plan of Salvation. He smiled, rubbed his chin and then replied in his Chinese accent, "Well, I think the Plan is perfect!" He is a sweet, sweet soul.

My conclusion for this week's experience is that I am just a tool in this perfect work. The pain, hurt, frustration, and tiredness can be taken away if I could but trust in Heavenly Father. He’s in charge! Why worry so much? If I am just where I need to be doing what I need to be doing, I can have complete trust that Jesus Christ will make sure that the work is moving forward. The Atonement is so real. My heart is changing. I know yours can, too.

We can be made whole through this perfect plan. Holy smokes, it is so great. I love Heavenly Father so much. Sometimes, I get so homesick for Heaven. But boy, am I grateful for this time on earth to learn, love, and experience the joy of living.

There is joy in this journey!

Calloused

SAN DIEGO — It’s weird when fall hits, and the sun is still shining here as bright as ever. It messes me up sometimes!

This week, it has really hit me how urgent this work is. God really is hastening His work. We are gearing up for about 50-75 new missionaries come January. What an amazing work this is! I feel the urgency inside of me, my spirit is trying to sprint to the finish, it is all I can do to keep up the best I can. There is just so much work to be done. 

I can see how hard both forces are working in this world. It has been so evident this week how hard Satan is working to confuse, distract, and lead away the children of God. Many of our investigators have testified of the truth, yet they refuse to live the gospel. It has broken my heart. There comes a point when they have to choose — choose to follow God, or choose to turn away, to step back into the world they came from. A world of chaos, distraction, and loneliness. The hardest moments on my mission have been the times when I look at one of my investigators, someone I have come to love with all my heart, and they look me back in the eye and tell me they do not want the gospel in their lives.  

It is devastating. But the work will move on.

I have noticed on the streets, the world is getting harder, tougher, and more calloused. People we talk to on the street laugh and make fun of us. Some are kind, but refuse to believe that they have to live the gospel of Jesus Christ to return to live with God. They think that they can do it on their own. We are getting to the point where I feel like we are trudging through mud, trying hard as we might to find those that are prepared. Despite the difficulty, the work will move on.

I have had many experiences this week, but I would like to share with you an experience from the Mormon Battalion Historic Site I had while I was on shift.

November 3, 2012

I was finishing up a tour in gold panning, and a middle-aged gentleman walked up, looking around like he had just walked up to the historic site. I excused myself from the family I was helping and welcomed him to the Battalion and to Old Town. 

We talked for a minute and I asked if I could show him how to pan for gold. He agreed and we started panning. Over the past few weeks, I have had a few experiences talking with people at the Battalion or at the temple where a peace comes over my heart, and I am certain that they are a child of God that specifically has been guided at that time and at that moment to be healed by the message of the Restored Gospel. 

As I talked to him, I had that peace come over my heart. 

I looked at him and could feel the burden on his heart. I could see it in the sadness and darkness of his eyes. I hear it in the tone of his voice. I just told him that I could tell he had a burden on his heart, and wondered if he wanted to talk about it. 

He told me that he just didn’t like where he was at this point in his life. 

"I just go out on the weekends and drink, and party, and I don’t even know why I do it. I suppose because I am bored and I don’t know what else to do. I just want to change" 

I testified of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and the power it has to lift his burdens, to comfort his heart, and that through the gift of the Atonement, he had the power to change. We walked into the resource room and looked at the display of the Book of Mormon and of the Bible. How amazing it was to me to be able to testify of the Old and New Testament, and Another Testament of Jesus Christ. The books that contain the Gospel, the way to find peace and joy in this life. 

He looked at them for a while and then looked up at me with his sad eyes and told met that ' I just feel like I have calluses on my heart. I just can’t feel anymore." 

I asked him if he had ever felt the Spirit before. He said, "Once. When I was a young boy, I felt that I should go back to church. I knew God was speaking to me and I didn’t do it." 

We slowly walked to the lobby and sat on the couch. I testified that the missionaries could teach him how to get rid of the calluses on his heart and help him start over, completely change. I felt the Holy Ghost remind me of my missionary purpose — To invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the Restored Gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and his Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end. How great is my calling!

I turned to him and asked him if he found that what I was teaching is true, would someone holding the priesthood authority of God baptize him. He looked at me and said, yes. He hadn’t prayed since he was little, so we went to the theater and knelt down in prayer. I prayed first and then he followed. His prayer was the most sincere prayer I have heard. I felt honored to be kneeling in a room where God's son — His little boy —was returning back to Him.

That moment will be one I never forget.

The lesson I learned through this is that, yes, things are hard, the world is bad, and Satan is loosing his chains over the whole earth. But GOD'S WORK WILL MOVE FORWARD. And we have the responsibility to be part of it. 

Are you joining the fight, or are you sitting on the sidelines? With or without you, His work will continue.

He said Yes!

SAN DIEGO —It has been one of those roller coaster rides for sure. I only have time to tell you one of my experiences this week, but it has been one that spanned the whole week, and will be a lesson I will NEVER forget.

September 21, 2012

Yesterday we had a lesson with Ryan at the Mormon Battalion. We met in the teaching room to talk about some of the concerns he had. 

He didn’t understand the Atonement, which is a big deal, as the Atonement is the very center to everything. We were lucky to have the chance to re-explain the precious gift that the Savior Jesus Christ gave to the world. I felt my lips moving as I looked him in the face, but the words were not my own. 

The Holy Ghost whispered as I spoke: "Ryan, Jesus Christ knelt in the Garden and suffered for you. He experienced how it felt when you had to watch your Father slowly fade from the earth. His heart was pierced the same way with the last memory you have of your father, a memory that haunts you to this day, He experienced living day after day year after year with anger building up in your heart, eating away at you. He will be on your right and on your left, and will be there to bear you up." 

After testifying of the Savior's Atonement, we committed him to keep his date of baptism for Saturday. He stared at me, this time with dark, smoldering eyes and said, "I’m sorry, but no." 

If the sound could be heard, the room would have been filled with the sound of two breaking hearts. 

Not broken out of him pushing his date back. My heart felt broken because he didn’t use the Atonement. I don’t even want to ever feel how Heavenly Father feels when we refuse to use the gift of the Atonement. It's the gift of change. 

I know how I felt at that very moment. That, I know was only a glimpse of how Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ must feel. I was once told not to cry for others who are given the chance to use the Atonement, but only cry when they refuse to use it. 

After saying goodbye to Ryan, Sister Miller and I sat down in the theater. I rolled down in my chair, looked up at the ceiling and began to cry. Sister Miller grabbed my hand and we cried together. Then we knelt in prayer and cried and prayed some more. The Spirit filled my soul as Sister Miller asked if Ryan wouldn’t have the faith to overcome fear, please let our faith be enough. I know in God's timing, Ryan will enter the waters of baptism. Oh what a sweet and beautiful day that will be...."

September 23, 2012

"Sat with Ryan in a lesson today. He got out everything that has been bothering him. It is amazing to know that no matter who you are, where you come from, the healing power of Jesus Christ is real. 

Now that Ryan is ready to use the Atonement, I feel as if I want to jump for joy! We committed him to visit his dad’s grave, and to pray to his Heavenly Father as well so that he can feel the peace and comfort that comes from repentance..."

September 24, 2012

"Ryan came to the Battalion today. My heart has been in knots all week thinking about him. I care about him so much, and know that in order for him to find true happiness here on earth and to return to live with God, he needs to have the Gift of the Holy Ghost. 

I don’t think a second has gone by between Saturday and today that my heart has stopped praying that everything will be okay. We talked and talked about so many things: about eternal families, about the temple, about baptism. And here again, the Holy Ghost said, "Sister Newman, you recommit him to be baptized."

Again, I committed him to make a covenant with God. The silence between my question and his reply was unbearable, I thought my heart might collapse from what it's been through this week. He looked up at me, his eyes warmer today, brighter, free from guilt and shame, and said, "Yes". 

HE SAID YES!!!! HALLELUJAH!!! 

His life will be changed forever. Despite the bad, the hard, and the ugly in this world, a Heavenly Messenger of God can protect him...

I don’t care how bad this world gets. We are on the Lord's side.

 

When two worlds collide

SAN DIEGO — A lot has happened this week! I suppose I will start with some "Miracles around the World"

August 17, 2012

I served at the Mormon Battalion this morning. It was one of those loud and crazy ones, but despite the mayhem in the lobby, I saw a family of three walk up. I soon found out that they were from Florence, Italy. The daughter, Chiara, spoke perfect English and was able to translate for her parents, Elizabeta and Giovanni. Because her parents couldn’t understand English, they didn’t want to go on the full tour, so I took them to the back to share a brief story of the Battalion and let them see the artifacts. We ended up standing in front of the glass case that holds the Bible and the Book of Mormon. I told them that I knew they probably had questions about Mormons, and I would love to answer them. They, of course did, and I was able to teach them about the Restoration of the Gospel. What a special moment that was, when two worlds collided, allowing us both to talk about the truth.

While not an international experience, Sister Newman had another colliding moment when @zbloxham, a twitter friend of her brother's, came by the Battalion

Just a few hours later, I had another one of those "colliding" moments. This time, with Pak from China. Pak came on a tour and was smack-dab in the middle of a bajillion Mormon families. Somehow, miraculously, I was able to talk with him after taking everyone’s photo in the resource room. This time we spoke outside, underneath the grapevines (it was quieter than with all the screaming kids). 

He told me he was an atheist. I felt the Spirit tell me that was not true, so I asked him, "So you believe that you are just here and that’s it?" He changed his mind and told me that he believed in a higher Being, he just didn’t know what it was. We were able to talk about how God literally is his Father. He agreed to read the Book of Mormon and talk with me about it.

My journey around the world ended in Belgium. The sisters gave us a referral for a man named Jeroen. We sat across from each other in his humble student apartment (he is going to pilot school) and started talking to him. I was stunned with all the questions of the soul that he had. 

He wanted to know what his purpose was on earth. He didn’t believe that all we have to do is believe Jesus and be saved (YAY!), but knew the truth that we must live the Gospel for the Atonement to work in our lives. As I looked him in the eyes, neither of us breaking eye contact, I told him of the 14-year-old boy who prayed to know the truth. The Spirit was tangible. I was struck in awe as we walked through the apartment complex back to our car. I looked up at the sky and just wanted to yell, "THANK YOU" to Heavenly Father for letting us find all the people from many lands that were thirsting for the gospel today."...

I think that is the lesson I learned today. There are people wandering, searching for the truth because they know not where to find it. I was so blinded before my mission, thinking, So-and-so would never want to hear the Gospel."  Or "So-and-so would never be Mormon."

Let me tell you all something: THAT is a COMPLETE lie from Satan.

Did you know that just this week, we talked to a guy, Ryan, walking to a bus stop? We told him that we had some great news to improve his life. A teenage boy who looked like he had plenty other things to do accepted, we met him at the church and he wants to learn more about the Plan of Salvation.

The other day when we were on our way to Jeroen's, we walked past a mother with her baby in the stroller. We just told her how cute her baby was and that we had something to share that would improve her family relationships. She accepted to learn more.

A sister shared with me that she took a tour of a non-member lady who has been to the Battalion a bunch of times, and NO ONE ever asked if she wanted a Book of Mormon. This dear sister asked, and the woman gladly accepted.

NO ONE can tell me that God is not putting people in our paths. I chose not to act before I came out here. 

For 21 years, I let neighbors, acquaintances, and coworkers pass by me. I know what you're thinking: "But she’s a missionary, she can be bold." I’m not saying we have to go up to a person and say, "do you want to hear about the three degrees of glory?" But have you ever asked a dear friend, "have you ever had questions about Mormons?"Or have you invited a less active or nonmember over for dinner? Have you invited the grocer at the store to look on mormon.org and given them a card?

I PROMISE you as a messenger of Jesus Christ, that if you would only do those simple things, you will be a messenger and advocate for the Father in bringing the Gospel to all nations, kindreds,, tongues and people.

The world is curious. 

They are thirsty. 

It is our job to bring them the fountain of living water.

I love you all. I’ve just written this email. I hope you don’t go on to your every day lives, but I hope you ask yourselves as President [Boyd K.] Packer would say,

"THEREFORE, WHAT?"

 Let's go out and do some good in this world.

Laborers in the Vineyard, changing habits

SAN DIEGO — Happy Fourth of July tomorrow! I hope you have some fun:) You all saw the picture of Karen and me; it was so good to see her yesterday!

I have been pondering what I want to tell you about this week, and my thoughts are kind of scattered.

I guess I can start first with an update on our ward. The plants are sprouting here in Avocado!

Thanks to Dad teaching me how to set goals and make plans, we have come far in the ward council in just a few weeks. Of course, it's all Heavenly Father, but He helps a lot more and a lot faster when things are organized. 

I have been taught on my mission what a ward council is supposed to be, and I realize that many times we miss the mark of the Brethren’s vision. It's hard to help ward councils understand what God expects a ward council to be like. It’s all about missionary work — reactivating, finding, retaining. It should be focused around the ward mission plan and how to accomplish those goals, not just to talk about activities and the drama/needs of individuals in each auxiliary, (that’s for presidency meetings) but missionary work as a whole. Church is a tool God uses for missionary work — Relief Society, Young Men's, Young Women's, Sunday School, Priesthood quorums,  all of the activities, service projects — all of that is a tool to help us be missionaries. 

In our ward council this week, we remade a progress record sheet, with our progress as missionaries for the week with less actives, investigators and members. We made a grid of our weekly, monthly, and yearly goals and how the ward's progress was. We then had assignments for each member of the ward council, as well as follow-ups from the previous week. It was amazing to watch these members volunteer to invite their friends to the 4th of July activity, to pray about someone they could have for us to teach by next week, to assign us members from their auxiliaries to teach. There was a fire and an excitement about missionary work! I realized this is what it's all about! I hope that we all can catch the vision, and help revolutionize the way we do missionary work. We need to be Moroni's. And just like Moroni revolutionized war, we can change the old habits of the church and make new more effective ones.

Enough said about that. I also wanted to share a few thoughts from our Zone Leader council this week. Once a month, Sister Tanner and I meet with President, the Assistants and the Zone Leaders and talk about how to continue improving our work. This month, President talked about the urgency of missionary work. He told us this story: He was doing anesthesia on one of the Apostles, and as the Apostle was waking up, he kept trying to get out of bed, squirming and looking very uncomfortable. President asked what he needed, explained that he was just coming out of anesthesia and needed to rest. The apostle responded, "I don’t have time, I need to go, there is so much work to do!" 

President related that story with tears in his eyes, as he explained that in order for us to be disciples of Christ, we need to catch the urgency of this work.

It made me think of the Ensign article from General Conference about the Laborers in the Vineyard. I was reading it this morning and a few things popped out at me. I guess before I share that, I should give background of the story (found in Matthew 20:1-15):

A householder went out early in the morning to hire laborers. After employing the 1st group at 6 in the morning, he returned at 9, noon, and 3, hiring more workers as the urgency of the harvest increased. In the Bible, it says, "he came back a final time about the eleventh hour" which would have been 5 pm. Just an hour later, all the workers were gathered in and received their day’s wages, all of them receiving the same pay.

Elder Holland talked about how it shouldn't make anyone jealous for god to choose to be kind.  And how it was not too late for these laborers who waited all day, with sorrow in their hearts, feeling hopeless and thinking that they would have to return to their families with no way to feed them that night. The householder gave them a great gift. An opportunity to work, even if for just an hour, still it was something. To everyone's surprise at the end of the day, all the laborers received pay, and all of them received the same wage.

To all of you reading this: as I sat today at my mission president’s feet, and as I read the words of an Apostle of God, I was taught from on high that no matter who you are, no matter what you have done, this work is urgent. We need everyone we can! In Elder Holland’s words:

 "However late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines.... If you have made covenants, keep them. If you haven't made them, make them. If you have made them and broken them, repent and repair them. It is never too late so long as the Master of the vineyard says there is time. Don't delay. It’s getting late"

I testify to what Elder Holland and President both taught me this week. God needs everyone He can. Come join the ranks! And don’t give up or give in if you have been fighting, no matter how long it has been. We will win. We are on the Lord's side.

Trying to become the Fourth Missionary

SAN DIEGO — It's amazing the lessons you can learn in only a week's worth of time.

As I mentioned last week, it was one full of challenges. I am grateful for them. Heavenly Father has been teaching me a lesson about how to make my will His will.

My favorite story in the Book of Mormon is about Nephi (Lehi's brother, Nephi). I've always wanted to be like him. I've wanted Heavenly Father to trust me like he trusted Nephi, to have that kind of faith, that kind of diligence, that kind of courage. The other day I decided to read about him from the Book of Mormon.

"Blessed art thou Nephi, for those things which thou hast done, for I have beheld how thou hast with unwearyingness declared the word, which I have given unto thee, unto this people. And thou has not feared them, and hast not sought thine own life, but hast sought my will and to keep my commandments."

Okay, so honestly I read that, and thought, "Oh great, if this is Nephi, I am totally in the great and spacious building!"

I most definitely did not start this transfer with "unwearyingness" like Nephi did. I’m pretty sure the words, "I'm tired, I’m so tired" were flashing across my mind in big bright letters the whole last week.

And though I don’t fear these new people, I sure have been wary of them. I mean for heavens sake, I was reciting the First Vision to a less-active lady and she starts rolling up a cigarette and proceeds to lighting it and smoking it right as I am telling her that God and Jesus Christ themselves appeared to Joseph Smith!

The last part says that Nephi sought God's will. I felt like I have done that all my life, but I have learned that I have not quite hit the mark.

I was reading a talk by a General Authority called "the Fourth Missionary" It describes the characteristics of four different kind of missionaries and how you can become the fourth type of missionary. 

He said, "In the end, your heart and will is all you have to give that the Lord does not already have. It is the only true gift you have to offer. It is as easy as changing your mind. Tell Father, I give in, and I give up. My heart is yours. My will is yours."

This was my aha moment! In order for me to become like Nephi, I have to make it up in my mind. I wrote Heavenly Father a letter. It is special to me, but I want to share it with you:

------

"Dear Heavenly Father,

I was reminded today of how much you love me. Today is Fathers Day here on earth and my mind has been turned to you and my dad here. It’s always hard for me to know what I can do for you. I think that’s hard with all dads. You already have everything you could want. I read a talk today about aligning my will with thy will. I want you to know that I give up. I give all of it to you, Father. I want to give you my heart this Fathers day.

Love,

Brittany

-----

If you keep reading about when Nephi gave his will to God this is what happened. 

"And now because thou hast done this with such unwearyingness, behold I will bless thee forever and will make thee mighty in word in deed in faith and in works. Yea even all things shall be done according to they word for thou shalt not ask that which is contrary to my will."

I am so excited to be earning trust with Heavenly Father. It is such a great feeling. I have been so blessed this week. I want to end by sharing some of yesterday’s miracles from my journal.

June 18, 2012

Today was such an amazing day. It was our only full day this transfer and we were able to get a lot of appointments. My eyes were opened to the world today, to how real Satan is, and how real the powers of heaven are. I want to share a few experiences I had:

Natik: He is a referral from some sisters in the Carlsbad mission. We stopped by and he let us in. He is a refugee from Iraq as now 1.5 million Christians have been kicked out of his country. He was so open and willing to learn. It strengthened my testimony that every person we talk to matters. I think of what would have happened if the sisters wouldn’t have talked to him. But because they did, he has a chance to hear the Gospel.

Trinity: We went back to teach Julie. Her daughter, Trinity was there. She’s only five years old. We were sitting at the patio outside her apartment, we could see into the apartment at her five-year-old girl. We started the lesson with a prayer. I shouldn’t have peeked, but I did. Out of the corner of my eye I saw two little feet walking from the upstairs apartment down the stairs. Then I peeked again, and I saw her sad countenance. She was looking down, her hair covered her eyes, and her little hands placed a handmade cigarette on the table next to her mom. She slowly turned around, and I watched her walk slowly back up the stairs. I don’t know why, but that vision haunted me. How sad Heavenly Father must be to watch all of this from heaven.

Peter: He is one of the lost boys of Sudan. Last week, we met Peter crossing the street. He had his Bible in hand and his white smile radiated brilliantly against the contrast of his beautiful, black skin. We set an appointment and were able to meet with him today. He told us about his story. When he was four, his mom, dad and uncle were killed in front of him. Thousands of Sudanese children had to flee the country alone. Some of his friends were eaten by lions or lost in the jungle.

Others starved to death. I won't forget the way he looked at us as though we represented all of America, and he said, "thank you, we thank America for what you did". I imagined our Founding Fathers, though I am sure they are sick at some of the things that are happening in our country, at least some good still remains. 

Heavenly Father taught me a lot tonight. About the strength of his children, the hope that comes from the Atonement, and the reality of Satan. This battle is real. It seems like it should be a movie, this battle we are fighting against Satan. I suppose this fight against good and evil is what inspires the entertainment out there. Only this is REAL. It can’t just be shut off at the end of the credits. This is a matter of salvation...

Well, that was a lot to say this week, sorry! Kind of scattered, but I gotta go write my presidents letter.

Love you all!

Imperfection, Action, and the Great and Spacious Building

SAN DIEGO – Heavenly Father has really decided to push and pull me around a little bit —and it is definitely working. I want to share with you some things today, some lessons I have learned: some experiences that have humbled me, and some moments that have strengthened my faith. It's a lot, so please bear with me.

Before I start, I want to tell you what I used to think of when I heard the word "missionary". I thought of a guy dressed in black pants, a white shirt, name tag on shirt, scriptures in hand ready to conquer the world. I thought they could do no wrong, they knew every answer, they never had a hard time, they never messed up. You can see that my understanding of what it means to be a missionary was very skewed.

I want to open up my life as a missionary and let you see that though I do have a black name tag on my shirt, I am imperfect: I mess up, and life is HARD for me many times. I cried myself to sleep last night; this week has been so hard. I am not telling you this to get your pity or sympathy. I am sharing this because I want you to know that I am just like you. And just like you, there are lessons that I need to learn to be a better daughter of God.

I hope that as I write by the Spirit and you read by the Spirit, that my experiences this week can help you learn something that God needs you to learn to reach your full potential as well.

First, let me share with you some lessons I learned:

Elder Zwick, if you remember, toured our mission a few months ago. This past month, he was touring Samoa, Tahiti, and other islands in the South Pacific. On his way back, he stopped once again in San Diego and wanted to take his family through the tour with some other close friends. He asked if he could have a fireside with the sisters at the Battalion. I want to share with you a story. I only have time for one, but maybe next week.

This story actually comes from Sister Zwick. She told us a story about her son Scotty, who is in his thirties and has some mental disabilities and thus lives in a group home in Orem while they travel around the world.

The temple President in Portland are the Zwick's good family friends. The president shared an email with Sister Zwick that his son had emailed to him. His son had been having a really hard time with his family and other things. He was really feeling low. But he was really excited for General Conference that was coming up, and he was praying and praying and praying that something one of the General Authorities would say would answer the questions of his soul.

Session after session ended and by the time the closing prayer was ended, he felt dejected and that God had not heard his pleas. Just at that moment his cell phone rang and the caller ID said, "Scott Zwick". Brandon wasn’t going to answer it, because phone calls with Scotty are often full of questions and last a really long time, and quite frankly, Brandon felt that he wasn’t in the mood, but something made him answer the phone. He heard Scotty's voice on the phone and he said, "Brandon, I just wanted to call you and tell you that Jesus loves you and I love you too." Brandon explained, that at that moment, he knew that God had heard him and did know who he was.

And all that he needed to know was that he was loved, by a Father in Heaven and by His Son, Jesus Christ.

Do you see what I mean when I tell you that what you do makes a difference! Listen to the Spirit when he urges you to do something. If you don’t act, God will use someone else to do his will, and what a shame it would be to not be trusted by God enough to follow out His will.

Second, Let me share with you an experience that humbled me. I think I will write this out of my journal because I really don’t want to retell it- I hate messing up!

May 3, 2012

"Today was really hard. We had our weekly training meeting where we train the sisters at the Battalion. Sister Kennington and I did the training and then separated to practice with the sisters. When we came back, my group was a little late, so they were already talking. I asked if my group could hear what was said. We went on with training, but I could tell something was hurting my companion. I looked at her and my heart sank. 

I knew that I had acted out of harmony with Jesus Christ, for I had caused her hurt. We talked and I came to the realization that I had made her feel that I didn’t trust her to wait for all of us to get back into the room and I didn’t work with her in unity. I have been trying so hard to be better at allowing others to lead, but I think the harder and harder I try, the more and more I seem to mess up. 

It is really hard for me to allow others to lead. It's a weakness I know I need to get over to become a true disciple of Christ. It may seem like a little thing that happened today, but I realize that if my companion felt badly about it, then it matters a lot. She is so gracious and so patient with me, something I admire in her a lot. I think this experience opened my eyes to how much Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ care. This little things that we do matter. The little ways we mess up, and then become better are a big deal. We don’t live life by the year; we live it by the hour, by the minute, by the second. It is day by day that we become who we are meant to become....."

Finally, I have one more experience I want to share, a moment that has strengthened my faith. Cinco de Mayo in Old Town is CRAZY. I mean ridiculous. Sister Kennington and I were at the temple in the morning and then on shift at the Battalion at night. A drive from the temple that usually takes about 10-15 minutes took us just over an hour.

We were driving bumper to bumper trying to get to our apartment, which gave us plenty of time to watch what was going on around us. It hurt my heart to watch how past feeling all of these people were. Alcohol, tobacco, loud, offensive music, inappropriate dancing and actions, immodesty (bad, I mean real bad). It was like a movie, driving through a sea of people who weren’t real, they were literally like zombies.

Later, Elder Seegmiller shared with us his experience with being down in the middle of it at the booth. He told the sisters there to watch him. He walked into the middle of the swarm of people making their way to who knows where and he would wave right in front of their face. None of them acknowledged him. None of them knew he was there. He related it to the great and spacious building. My heart started pounding as I heard that. The Spirit was teaching me that this experience was exactly that. My faith was strengthened by seeing how real Satan is, and how real the Savior and His Atonement are.

I am out of time, but I hope these lessons I learned have strengthened and helped you. In summary, help others, be humble, and go forward with faith.

Inactivity, service, staying put

SAN DIEGO — YAAAAAAAAAAAY I am so excited for Dad and Sara to be having their adventure! I love the stories:)

I actually went to school with Aubin Lewis, then she left for a few semesters. I can't remember if it was for a mission or something. Great stories. I'm glad you're having fun. 

The only thing I want you to do for me, Sara, is give Leena a great big hug and tell her how much I love her. She is one of my heroes. Seriously. She has changed my life a lot. Talk with her every chance you get and write it down so you can tell me about it:) I would love to hear her conversion story again. I forgot it! 

Guess what? The former mission president in Finland that just got released came to the Battalion yesterday. It was great to talk with him. He knows Leena of course. It made me miss pulla and piirakka. MMMMMMMMM.

You are not going to believe this, but Sister Kennington and I stayed together, stayed training sisters, and stayed in Black Mountain!!!! I am very humbled, very grateful, and so excited for this chance. I love Sister Kennington so much. She's my best friend! We have gone through more together than I ever thought was possible as a missionary. The amazing thing is we have learned how to love each other, despite all of the weaknesses we have. It is a hard thing to live with someone 24/7. I am grateful that I get to live with a patient, kind, and loving companion. I couldn't go through this refining process without someone like her. My furnace has been HOT, and is only heating up. But I am grateful for the opportunity to be changed.

It was such a sweet experience Sunday, not only because I was still in the area I love with all my heart, but because I walked in and Kyle, the less active we have been working with since November — the one who is stubborn and hard on the outside, but really a softie on the inside — showed up in a white shirt and the tie we bought him. He got up and said the closing prayer as well. No one in this world can tell me that people can't change. That is a total LIE!

I was taught another lesson from Elder Seegmiller about why so many people stay less active. It is because they feel they have to fix their mistakes BEFORE they can go back to church, when it is church that is the place to help them become better. So what if someone has a problem with the Word of Wisdom. So what if a person has a problem with the Law of Chastity or keeping the Sabbath day holy. I hope and pray that you or I would not make any of them feel that they could not enter a place for healing the wounded soul. In fact, it is our duty to find them and to help them understand that they NEED to come back, that they are loved. Keeping the laws is the least of their problems.

It is coming back to change, to align themselves with God, to repent that is what keeps people from returning to God. So please, please, please don't be the cause of one of God's precious children shying away from the only place that will give them peace and hope. Its not just in our actions that keep them away, but in our LACK of action that does it as well.

Last thing I wanted to tell you about was Mormon Helping Hands day. Do you do that in Utah? I forget. Our branch was in charge of painting the community center in Mira Mesa. It was an amazing sight, painting the center. Our branch was on the roof, a bunch of 18-30 year-olds that could have been doing anything else on a Saturday afternoon. I took a moment to look around at them, and to walk to the edge of the roof and look down at the crowds of other members painting beneath me, laughing, painting, serving the community and serving God. People walked past with wonder in their eyes. I am sure thinking to themselves, "who on earth are these people? are they crazy?" Many of them, probably not even realizing that we are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints —followers of the Savior of the world.

I guess this scene hit me harder today, as an investigator's father claimed that our Church only thinks  about itself and no one else. If only he could have seen the selfless service of these people on this day. My soul was touched deeply with the pureness, the charity of it all. It was a great experience.

I guess the whole reason for my email today is that there is more happiness to be found than what you have right now.

I know that at times, you may read this and think, "Oh, she's just a missionary. She doesn’t remember what living in the world is like. She's just weird and all she wants to talk about is the Gospel." 

Some of you may even have a hard time remembering that I did live where you live, I am real! I experienced much of what you are experiencing now! Being a full-time missionary and a member of God's church is not as far separated as regular members of the church put us.

I challenge you to find the happiness that God has for you. Many of you may have to change where you are looking for it, but I promise it is there.

The henna tattoo and the Atonement

SAN DIEGO — This is the last week before transfers. I have spent nine months in the Black Mountain Young Single Adult branch. It has been an amazing experience, and I have seen a lot of miracles.

Next Wednesday will be transfers. I feel like I will probably be transferred and I think Sister Kennington and I will also not be the training sisters, either. There are so many wonderful sisters here, I am so excited to see who I get to serve under.

I guess I will get the sad news over first. Sister Kennington and I were up at four this morning to drive to the airport with the Seegmillers and Sisters Burden and Haggerty. Sister Haggerty's headaches came back and is not able to stay. It has been really sad, but we all know Heavenly Father has other plans for her. Elder Seegmiller took us to breakfast, it is always an amazing experience to spend time with him.


Let me tell you something about Elder Seegmiller. He always tells us, "You always have to ask when people refer to the Bretheren, is it a bretheren with a little b or Bretheren with a Big B?" Sister Kennington and I were talking about him the other night, Elder Seegmiller used to work as a go-between with mission presidents and the Twelve Apostles. Just being in his presence, you know you are learning from a man inspired of God.

Sister Kennington and I were laughing last night because we decided Elder Seegmiller is a "bretheren with bold, italicized and underlined" Definitely not a little b and not a big B, either. Heavenly Father has blessed me a lot to learn from him. I write down his words of advice often, I'll share a couple with you right now:

"If you know he won't get invited to the meeting at Adam-Ondi-Ahman, don't say "yes!"

"When talking to the Lord, never ask why, ask what!"

"Girls should go on missions, and the guys should wait. Just tell the guy, a year and a half is a perfect amount of time to save up money, go to school and prepare everything so that when you walk off the plane, you and he can have your first date at the temple!"

Anyway, he taught me a great object lesson about my henna tattoo the other day. We were talking about the Atonement and how I was trying to take the burdens of all the sisters upon myself. He said I should never cry to watch someone be given the opportunity to use the Atonement, but it is when they choose not to that the tears should freely flow.


He looked down at my hand, the henna much faded by now, and told me that my tattoo was an example of the Atonement. I had messed up, I didn't realize what I was doing and the consequence of my mess up was a bright reminder of what I had done. Every time I would give a tour, I would shake a hand, I had to deal with questions and looks of concern or questioning. Just looking at it myself I felt like an idiot every time.

With a lot of work, and with ENDURANCE, the henna has slowly started to fade. With time, I will have a completely new hand. The skin cells will renew and not a single mark of my mistake will be left.

That is the Atonement.

Oh how I wish I could have it scrubbed off that night. Then I wouldn't have had to account to president. Then I wouldn't have had to explain to my peers. But that is not how it it meant to be. I have never been more grateful for the slow and steady process of the henna fading. It has taught me a lesson: just like my hand, with endurance, hard work, and patience, I can use the Atonement in my life to become a completely new person.


As I was thinking about tattoos, my mind has completely 180'd to a really funny story that happened this week that I think you will appreciate. Since Sister Haggerty has been sick, we have been going on exchanges with her companion, Sister Burden, to cover her area as well as ours. We went to stop by a man named Dave in the ghetto of El Cajon. Just to give you an idea, he is a big African-American man that would scare the pants right off of you if you didn't know that inside he was a big teddy bear.

We met him in the parking lot of his apartment complex, and honestly he was being a little rude, washing and waxing his car and not really listening to us, even though he set an appointment. He made his nephew come listen, which was really great, but I was getting frustrated with the situation as we had promised both Dave and Heavenly Father that we would teach him the Restoration.

Well those of you that know my spunky great-grandma Dinah, I have inherited a diluted portion of that spunk (gumption?). I left the conversation with Sisters Kennington and Burden with Dave's nephew, and marched right up to Dave's car, took the wax and the rag from him and told him I would shine his rims, and he would walk over to the sisters and listen to something that would make him really happy.

(Now to give you a little perspective, we were all in pencil skirts because we had to go to our ward that night and be flight attendants for a FHE activity).

So here I am in a pencil skirt shining a guy's rims, all the while, more of his friends are coming up to watch and laugh at why on earth a little white girl is shining Dave's car. I wasn't paying attention very well. All i could think to do was pray with all my might that he would listen. But looking back on that, I can imagine how funny that must have been.

Oh, the crazy things we do as missionaries! It is so great!!!!


Before I go, a quick update on Cameron. He is doing so well. He hopefully will move his baptism date up to the end of April. He went to church again and we are meeting with him to teach him the Gospel at the temple tonight. Keep him in your prayers!


The work is moving forward on my end, I hope it is on yours.

Less actives, Church tech, and forever without force

SAN DIEGO — Happy Valentines Day! Hope you are having a good one!:)

I got the email from Dad about Mormon Battalion Day. That was cool:) I have to say my quote wasn't very profound- oops! Sometimes, I just run out of cool words to say! When you've been out so long, unfortunately the everyday miracles that happen fade into just everyday events. I am trying so hard to get my "greenie" perspective back, but it is hard work, I tell you! I guess that is something I will have to watch out for when I get home as well. Falling into that trap of seeing every day as another day, and forgetting that it is 24 more hours to become like the Savior and see his Atonement work in the world. What a miracle just that itself is!

I have a few random things I wanted to tell you about this week:

In our area, we have been struggling so much with finding new people to teach. We are teaching Oliver, who is getting baptized in March and that is pretty much it. But Heavenly Father has sent us so many less-actives to teach. I have found a new love for rescuing those that have lost their way a little bit. Oh, I wish I was better at that when I was at home!

Two of the people we are working with are preparing for missions now. It is so amazing to see the Atonement work! We were teaching Paul last week how to teach the Restoration. We had to help him learn Joseph's account of what happened with hand actions (that was pretty funny), and then committed him to have it completely memorized by the next time we saw him. We were meeting with him this week and asked him to teach us the Restoration, he got a "Pshhhh, that is so easy" look on his face and totally recited the whole thing! It was so great!

We were helping a member with the exact same thing just yesterday and as we were leaving his house, he told us about Whitney Houston passing away. As a tribute, Sister Kennington and I belted "I will always love you" on our way out to the car. Lesson 1 of being a missionary: you have to learn how to laugh and enjoy every second!

Speaking of Oliver, He is doing SO GREAT. He is so solid. He lives with a member who has really exotic pets. Last time we were there, they were showing us their parrots. The great big one hates girls and will bite you if you get to close. Yesterday when we were walking up to the house to teach him, the big parrot was on her perch on the front door. We started walking up and she jumped at us, (and you knowing how scared I am of birds) and I hid behind Sister Kennington like a little girl. So she, being the brave one, held up her bag over her head and ran to the door bell so we could get inside. It is those silly moments I wish I could take a snapshot of and send home to you.

We are also being trained on using CHAT. The church is trying to help us missionaries stop using "19th century techniques in a 21st century world", so they are training us on teaching lessons over the phone, texting, and online. We at the Visitors Center also are learning how to use the chat feature on mormon.org to chat online with people all over the world who have questions. Just yesterday as we were being trained, a man from Europe got on and told us about how hopeless he felt. His wife had just left him, he lost his job, and he was worried about his little daughter. We taught him about Jesus Christ and how His Gospel could lift and strenghten him. It was so amazing. We have another appointment set up. Technology can be such a blessing!

Sister Kennington and I been talking a lot about how Satan has such a tight grasp on the world today. There was an older gentlemen giving a talk on Sunday, and was talking about how marriage in the world is "till death do you part". Sister Kennington and I looked at each other, it was sad to see in her eyes, a reflection of what I was thinking and feeling inside — it may have been true that in the past, people were married "till death do you part", but Satan now has twisted the world so that they truly believe that they can be married forever without someone who holds the permission from God to do that.

Now as missionaries today, when we preach about families being together forever, they say I already have that. When we talk about Jesus Christ, they either believe that they are saved by grace alone, or they don't need Jesus Christ, they can do it on their own. Just yesterday, we had a former investigator look us in the eyes after he felt the Spirit with its full force testify of the reality of Christ, and still, he said, "I don't want Jesus in my life." It's really sad. Thats all I know what to say. The thing is, who is Satan to think he can win? Families CAN be together forever, the Gospel HAS been restored. Jesus Christ IS real. I know that more now than I ever have in my life.

I hope you all know how much I love you. I pray for you everyday. I wish I could talk individually with every single one of you, all of you who read this, and share with you the miracles I see every day, the testimony I have been given, and the truth I get to teach. It's real. You can do hard things. God loves you!

The struggle of agency and the Atonement

SAN DIEGO — Happy New Years! 2012????? When did this happen??? It honestly scares me. I have too much to do before the end of this year!

I am focusing completely on the work, but every now and then it hits me like a ton of bricks how much I love you and miss you! I know you all have busy things going on and whatnot, but I hope you are taking time for each other. I have had to learn being gone how precious and fragile the precious gift of family is. Everything else we do is so good,  but family is something that is far too often taken for granted, and far too precious not to be cherished.

Speaking of family:

Grandma and Grandpa Morgan and Newman: I got both of your letters, but I haven't gotten the chance to open them yet, and it's our turn to email, so thank you in advance for writing me. You are the best grandparents ever!!!

Chris and Hannah: Thank you so much for the card, for the gift, and for the letter. You are so good to me! Loved the stories Hannah!

Sara: WAHOOOOOOOOOOO another semester. Hope you have gotten everything settled! Can't wait to hear how the start of another semester has gone.

This week here in San Diego has gone by so fast — kind of in a blur. It seems like that's what keeps happening lately. Sometime Sister Kennington and I feel like we are chickens running around with our heads cut off! We are so much alike it is hilarious. We say the same things in the exact same tone and the exact same time, and just today when we were grocery shopping we looked down in our carts and realized we even eat the same food! Scary:)

We have honestly had a rough week. We were talking about it in the car today. I have learned so much about how real God is on my mission, but I have also realized how real Satan is.

One of our investigators, who was going to be baptized this Sunday refused to live the Law of Chastity, even though she told us she knew the blessings that would come from it and the happiness she would have. Another investigator broke the Word of Wisdom on New Years and feels so guilty that he won't talk to us even though he understands the precious gift of the Atonement. Another investigator decided to move to northern California to live with her boyfriend. All of them had baptism dates for this month.

The realization that there is opposition in all things and that agency plays a big role in that came crashing down on me this week. I can't describe what I am feeling right now, only that to watch these sons and daughters of God turn away from their Father hurts really, really bad. Sister Kennington and I were talking about how we can literally feel the weight of their salvation on our shoulders. I am struggling with the weight placed on my shoulders, but I know it is nothing compared to what Christ did for all of us.

It took my breath away talking to my companion in the car this morning about how much weight the Savior carried on His shoulders. I don't have any words to explain it. I can imagine that the heavens watched in silent tears as our Savior bled, suffered, loved, and died for us. I felt a reverence for Him I have never felt before. He lives. I know that my Redeemer lives.

We had Zone Leader Training yesterday and we talked a lot about the examples we are to others and how important it is to be exactly obedient. President has been asking us to make visions for ourselves of who we want to be and so I have been thinking about that a lot lately. Interestingly enough, I was reading about Moroni today in my personal study.

"And Moroni was a strong and a mighty man; he was a man of a perfect understanding; yea a man that did not delight in bloodshed; a man whose soul did joy in the liberty and the freedom of his country, and his brethren from bondage and slavery.

Yea a man whose heart did swell with thanksgiving to his God, for the many privileges and blessings  which he bestowed upon his people; a man who did labor exceedingly for the welfare and safety of his people.

Yea, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were and ever would eb like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men.

Yea, and he was a man who was firm in the faith of Christ. Behold he was a man like unto Ammon, the son of Mosiah, and even the other sons of Mosiah, yea and also Alma and his sons, for they were all men of God."

There is something I have learned here. I used to read that scripture and think, "That would be nice if I could be like that." Now I realize I can. I have a vision of myself. I want to be a Moroni, and you know what? I can be! We are all divine children of God, we have the potential to become like Him. Who are we to think otherwise?!?

There is a quote I love by Sister Marjorie Pay Hinckley:

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.

I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.

I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenk's lawn.

I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children.

I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.

I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.

I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived. "

That's the kind of person I want to be, and guess what? I can!

This new year is a perfect time to write down your vision for yourself. Who do you want to become? What do you want to tell people you have done on this earth? What difference do you want to have made?

I beg all of you reading this to realize that you can become exactly who you want to be. Don't settle for less. Please, please please don't settle for less! It, of course, can't happen unless you set goals and write it down, but I promise you, you can be exactly who you want to be.

I love you all, thank you for helping me be the person I am today! Let's start this year off with a BANG!!! Lets tell Satan who's boss!!! We are. We are children of a King! Children of great worth!!!

Don't forget it:)

Love you to the moon and back.

The show must go on

SAN DIEGO — We sent off Sister Christensen this morning. She is a stellar missionary, and it broke my heart watching her leave. What an amazing legacy she has left for all of us. She is an example of a stalwart servant of God and has put true meaning to what it means to "Return with Honor". I was giving a tour with her yesterday and asked her what her last piece of advice would be for me. She told me to remember that no matter what happens in life, "The show must go on".

How true that is! Life goes on, the days come and go, the seasons change, the years pass by and nothing can stop it. Our attitudes, our actions, our desires are what give meaning to the precious time we have. Whatever trials we face, whatever heartaches come our way, it is our attitude that makes "our show" one of despair and disappointment or one of hope and happiness.



On the opposite scheme of things, this week I also sat in the front room of a sister that had no desire to be here anymore — who couldn't wait to pack her bags and go home. I sat in her living room, my heart broken, and sick to my stomach of what that kind of decision would do to this sister. I have learned that just as much as God is real, so is the adversary. Fortunately we are on the winning side!

I told you last week that Sister Kennington and I were going to irritate Satan this week, and I think we can say "mission accomplished." I don't know if you remember Ali. He is the Muslim that we had to stop teaching until President Clayton talked with him. He had his interview on Friday and President said we could teach him. On Sunday, we went over to his house and started completely from scratch. He doesn't even know who Jesus Christ is as he was never raised Christian, so we decided to watch the Finding Faith in Christ DVD with him. I want to share that part of my journal with you this week as it was one of my highlights. 

Sunday, December 19, 2011

Ali couldn't make it to church today, so we asked him if we could drop by later. We went over to the house he is staying at and watched Finding Faith in Christ with him. I can't explain how happy and relieved and thankful and excited I am to be able to teach him again. I can't explain it, but I know I promised Ali in heaven that I would find and teach him the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Of course, I probably have done that for our other investigators as well, but it just seems different somehow. Words can't explain what it was like tonight, sitting with Ali, who has no idea what the Savior did for him. We had to keep pausing during the movie to explain things to him: who the man and woman were who were looking for a place to stay in Bethlehem, who the 12 men were that were following Jesus Christ, and what was happening when Jesus Christ was kneeling down and praying to God in agony in the Garden of Gethsemene. As we paused at that moment, and looked at our Savior performing the Atonement, he looked over at me with tears in his eyes, and all he could say was, "Wow".

The Spirit hit me so hard, it felt as though I could barely breathe. Heavenly Father not only testified to Ali that what we were showing him was real, but he testified once again to me, that my Savior lives, that Jesus Christ really did perform the Atonement. I love this Gospel so much. I love my Savior with all my heart. And I am so grateful for the precious gift Heavenly Father gave me during this Christmas season: a reminder that He loves me and that is why He sent His son to the earth. The only words I have to say, are those of my friend Ali — wow.

Let's not forget:

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved."

Can't wait to talk to you on Sunday! :)

The pain of not listening

SAN DIEGO — I can't believe another week has gone by! Yesterday it was 80 degrees, people were mowing lawns and they all had their Christmas lights up! It is weirding me out! I keep thinking it is summer time!

To answer some questions:

Thanksgiving is actually just another day in the mission field. The Mormon Battalion is open every day — including Sundays and holidays — so I worked there in the morning and we had a Battalion Thanksgiving that the senior couples put together and then we were out in our area at night. It was a wonderful Thanksgiving, though!

Grandma, you would be proud, one of the senior couples is from Twin Falls, so I even got Idaho mashed potatoes and "grandma rolls" that were almost as good as yours!

For Christmas, we will get to either call or skype (unless president clayton changes the rules). We will only have about 30-40 minutes. I think I can do a conference call, I'm not exactly sure what that is?  But please send the number just in case.

As for things that are going on here: I have learned a great lesson this week of following the Spirit that I wanted to share with you. Here are two clips from my journal that will tell the story....

Friday, November 26, 2011

I took Sister Burden on exchanges in our area today. She is such an amazing missionary. We were able to teach a lot of people and contact a lot of referrals. We tried to contact Mckaela later in the evening. Mckaela is a foreign exchange student from Germany that we street contacted in August and she asked for a German Book of Mormon, but every time we tried  to contact her, the host family was really cold and told us she was not there.

Luckily, one of the sons answered the door and we were able to ask for Mckaela. Well, he told us in the not of nicest terms that we were out too late and that Mckaela was getting ready for bed. He started shutting the door, and I felt the Spirit tell me, "Sister Newman, she needs that Book of Mormon", but I let the moment pass and he shut the door.

Walking back to the car, the feeling wouldn't go away, so Sister Burden and I turned around, and walked back to the house so we could at least leave the German Book of Mormon with the host family. This time, the mom answered and she in the really not of nicest terms told us to leave and slammed the door in our face. We were forced to leave the book on the doorstep for her. I learned a great lesson tonight- LISTEN TO THE SPIRIT.

I can't describe the feelings in my heart of guilt and sadness that my lack of following the Spirit brought. Thank goodness for the Atonement, for I know Heavenly Father will prepare away for Mckaela to again receive the message of the Gospel.

 

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Today, I learned another lesson on following the Spirit. You think I would be better at this by now, especially because I was chastised only a few days ago from not listening to Heavenly Father. I don't know how many times it is going to take me to learn to trust in Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost, but apparently at least one more time.

On our way to visit a former investigator's home, we ran into a guy walking his two boxer dogs. Naturally we walked up to him (not only because he had 2 dogs that reminded me of Peaches and Dakota, but that was a bonus!). After talking to him and sharing our message, he thanked us and left. As he was walking away, I felt Heavenly Father remind me that I needed his number, but he was already walking away, so I ignored the prompting. As we turned and started walking to the former's home, Sister Kennington mentioned that she, too, was reminded to get his number and did not.

My heart sunk to the floor — was my lack of acting on prompting going to affect this man's salvation?!? I practically begged Heavenly Father to give me another chance, promising that I would act on that prompting without delay. As we turned the corner to our former's home, there was the guy and his boxers! You better believe I asked for his number! There was no way I would fail to act this time. I have gained such a stronger testimony of listening to the Spirit. When you seek guidance from heaven, that is when miracles happen.

 

These past two days reminded me of a story from the Mormon Battalion that I want to share with you. I can't remember the story I shared last week, so I hope this isnt the same one.

 

"By November 17, the battalion had left the Rio Grande and was traveling in a southwesterly direction. On Nov. 20, Colonel Cooke's guides reported that they could not find a practical route to the west. Mexican traders told Cooke the only reasonable route was southeast to Janos in Sonora. In addition, they explained to Cooke that he could replenish his provisions, a fact that weighed heavily on Cooke's long list of worries.

"It appeared that cookes mind was set; the battalion would change directions and march towards Sonora. Cooke's decision, taking them away from and not towards California, so distressed Levi Hancock, the leading church authority in the battalion, that he asked the men to pray that night to change the colonel's mind. The following day Cooke set out for Janos and after the battalion had marched for several miles, he suddenly changed his mind, declaring that general Kearney's orders were to march to California. Consequently, the battalion changed directions and once again began traveling toward California. Many soldiers believed Cooke's decision to abandon the march to Janos came as a direct answer to prayer."

 

I know that Colonel Cooke listened to the Spirit. I am confident that because of that, the men did not have to fight in a single battle. It has been weighing on my mind a lot how important it is to listen to the Spirit, and I am so thankful Heavenly Father has once again taught me that lesson. The Spirit is constantly around, always trying to give us nudges, and pushes in the right direction. But it is so delicate, so soft, so quiet, that it takes such practice to hear its promptings and even more practice and courage to act on them.

 

The Spirit talks to all of us, to you to me every day, all the time. It is just up to us to listen and act. Miracles happen when we listen and do something from the messages we receive from heaven. I know that is true!

 

I love you all, I am so glad you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!