Revelation, Sacrifice, and Miracles

SAN DIEGO — It was so great to talk to you on Sunday! First things first:

Grandpa Morgan: Just in case I don't get a letter written, THANK YOU for painting that picture for me. I cried a whole bunch when you told me. It means the world to me. I can’t wait to see it!

Everyone else, thank you for the birthday wishes, the cards. It was a great day!

I feel like I should start off with a good laugh first. Do you remember me telling you about TIWI? It’s the company that monitors our driving: how fast we are going, how hard we stop and whatnot. We have a little box in our car that warns us when we do something wrong. For instance, "Speeding violation" or "Aggressive driving".

Sister Kennington was leaving a message with the counselor to our mission president and I was changing lanes, and missed in my blind spot a car that was coming, so I slammed on my brakes, but was in the middle of both lanes so I had to get over and the car in back of me was not going to let me. While Sister Kennington is leaving the message, she yells, "the car is still coming!" and then I yell back, "Well, that car is an idiot (yes, I should have kept my temper, I know) and then all of a sudden, the TIWI box talks in its computer voice, "Aggressive driving!" Sister Kennington then realizes that all of this was on the message to President Hunt. We look at each other, down at the phone and bust up laughing as she finishes the message, knowing full well that President Hunt heard the whole thing. OOOPS!

I shared this experience with a few of you, but since Dad, Sara and any others reading this did not hear, I thought I would share it with you again. Sister Kennington and I were having a pretty rough day the other day, and were pretty low when we went to the temple for our temple shift.

I noticed a member standing out front (he was dressed in a shirt and tie) and went up to talk to him. He kept asking me questions like, "How many sisters serve per shift, what are zones like, how do zone conferences work" etc. I asked how he knew so much about missionaries and he explained that he was just released as a mission president in Ohio. We were so excited to talk to him, and asked what advice he had for us.

It was so cool to see how much that question meant to him. He pondered for a minute and looked at us, and said, "Sisters, that is a great question. Let me ask you something: If you could pick one lesson that you have learned from your mission, what would it be?"

Sister Kennington explained that she has learned the "Why" of the Gospel —why we do what we do. I honestly have learned so many things so fast, it is hard to grasp everything. But one of the biggest lessons I have learned is the eternal perspective of missionary work. After we explained, he looked at us, pointed each hand at Sister Kennington and I and said, "Sisters, my advice to you is when this part of your mission is over, is to teach these lessons you have learned to your husband and your children."

It hit me that what I am learning is not for myself. It is for those around me. I know that each of you have lessons you are learning from Heavenly Father as well. Are you sharing those lessons with your children? Your friends? Your family?

I feel that before I leave, I need to share 2 more things that I have learned this week with you.

I want to talk to you about what I learned from Elder Zwick about what he calls the "cycle of spirituality"

In D&C 132:50 it says,

"Behold I have seen your sacrifices and will forgive all your sins... Thus sacrifice brings forth a remission of sins."

In Moroni 8:26,  Moroni explains, 

"And the remission of sins bringeth meekness, and lowliness of heart. And because of meekness and lowliness of heart cometh the visitation of the spirit."

In summary, if you want the Spirit, it requires a sacrifice on our part. King Lamoni's father was willing to give all he had to know God. What are you willing to give?

We had Zone Leader Council this week, and each of us went around and shared miracles in our areas. The scripture came to mind, "has the day of miracles ceased"? I add my testimony to Moroni that indeed they have not. Here is a testimony that miracles still happen every day.

One set of Elders walked up to the church and there was a note on the door that this woman wanted to learn more about the Church and to give please call her and teach her more.

Another set of Elders were teaching a man from Peru. As they were in one of the first lessons, he told the Elders to hold on, he called his family in Peru, and asked if they wanted to hear more. They enthusiastically said yes, and the Elders arranged for other missionaries in Peru to teach them.

Other missionaries were outside church talking to a woman and saw a man walk by. They felt the urge to talk to him. He explained that he always wanted to go in, but every time he knocked on the door, no one was there.

A friend gave a man at the marine base a Book of Mormon a long time ago. When he got to base, the only church he knew was "Mormons" he went to church, started reading and wanted to be baptized. That same friend is serving a mission just above us and was given permission to baptize him.

Have miracles ceased? I think NOT! Look for them where you are, if ye seek, ye shall find.

Imperfection, Action, and the Great and Spacious Building

SAN DIEGO – Heavenly Father has really decided to push and pull me around a little bit —and it is definitely working. I want to share with you some things today, some lessons I have learned: some experiences that have humbled me, and some moments that have strengthened my faith. It's a lot, so please bear with me.

Before I start, I want to tell you what I used to think of when I heard the word "missionary". I thought of a guy dressed in black pants, a white shirt, name tag on shirt, scriptures in hand ready to conquer the world. I thought they could do no wrong, they knew every answer, they never had a hard time, they never messed up. You can see that my understanding of what it means to be a missionary was very skewed.

I want to open up my life as a missionary and let you see that though I do have a black name tag on my shirt, I am imperfect: I mess up, and life is HARD for me many times. I cried myself to sleep last night; this week has been so hard. I am not telling you this to get your pity or sympathy. I am sharing this because I want you to know that I am just like you. And just like you, there are lessons that I need to learn to be a better daughter of God.

I hope that as I write by the Spirit and you read by the Spirit, that my experiences this week can help you learn something that God needs you to learn to reach your full potential as well.

First, let me share with you some lessons I learned:

Elder Zwick, if you remember, toured our mission a few months ago. This past month, he was touring Samoa, Tahiti, and other islands in the South Pacific. On his way back, he stopped once again in San Diego and wanted to take his family through the tour with some other close friends. He asked if he could have a fireside with the sisters at the Battalion. I want to share with you a story. I only have time for one, but maybe next week.

This story actually comes from Sister Zwick. She told us a story about her son Scotty, who is in his thirties and has some mental disabilities and thus lives in a group home in Orem while they travel around the world.

The temple President in Portland are the Zwick's good family friends. The president shared an email with Sister Zwick that his son had emailed to him. His son had been having a really hard time with his family and other things. He was really feeling low. But he was really excited for General Conference that was coming up, and he was praying and praying and praying that something one of the General Authorities would say would answer the questions of his soul.

Session after session ended and by the time the closing prayer was ended, he felt dejected and that God had not heard his pleas. Just at that moment his cell phone rang and the caller ID said, "Scott Zwick". Brandon wasn’t going to answer it, because phone calls with Scotty are often full of questions and last a really long time, and quite frankly, Brandon felt that he wasn’t in the mood, but something made him answer the phone. He heard Scotty's voice on the phone and he said, "Brandon, I just wanted to call you and tell you that Jesus loves you and I love you too." Brandon explained, that at that moment, he knew that God had heard him and did know who he was.

And all that he needed to know was that he was loved, by a Father in Heaven and by His Son, Jesus Christ.

Do you see what I mean when I tell you that what you do makes a difference! Listen to the Spirit when he urges you to do something. If you don’t act, God will use someone else to do his will, and what a shame it would be to not be trusted by God enough to follow out His will.

Second, Let me share with you an experience that humbled me. I think I will write this out of my journal because I really don’t want to retell it- I hate messing up!

May 3, 2012

"Today was really hard. We had our weekly training meeting where we train the sisters at the Battalion. Sister Kennington and I did the training and then separated to practice with the sisters. When we came back, my group was a little late, so they were already talking. I asked if my group could hear what was said. We went on with training, but I could tell something was hurting my companion. I looked at her and my heart sank. 

I knew that I had acted out of harmony with Jesus Christ, for I had caused her hurt. We talked and I came to the realization that I had made her feel that I didn’t trust her to wait for all of us to get back into the room and I didn’t work with her in unity. I have been trying so hard to be better at allowing others to lead, but I think the harder and harder I try, the more and more I seem to mess up. 

It is really hard for me to allow others to lead. It's a weakness I know I need to get over to become a true disciple of Christ. It may seem like a little thing that happened today, but I realize that if my companion felt badly about it, then it matters a lot. She is so gracious and so patient with me, something I admire in her a lot. I think this experience opened my eyes to how much Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ care. This little things that we do matter. The little ways we mess up, and then become better are a big deal. We don’t live life by the year; we live it by the hour, by the minute, by the second. It is day by day that we become who we are meant to become....."

Finally, I have one more experience I want to share, a moment that has strengthened my faith. Cinco de Mayo in Old Town is CRAZY. I mean ridiculous. Sister Kennington and I were at the temple in the morning and then on shift at the Battalion at night. A drive from the temple that usually takes about 10-15 minutes took us just over an hour.

We were driving bumper to bumper trying to get to our apartment, which gave us plenty of time to watch what was going on around us. It hurt my heart to watch how past feeling all of these people were. Alcohol, tobacco, loud, offensive music, inappropriate dancing and actions, immodesty (bad, I mean real bad). It was like a movie, driving through a sea of people who weren’t real, they were literally like zombies.

Later, Elder Seegmiller shared with us his experience with being down in the middle of it at the booth. He told the sisters there to watch him. He walked into the middle of the swarm of people making their way to who knows where and he would wave right in front of their face. None of them acknowledged him. None of them knew he was there. He related it to the great and spacious building. My heart started pounding as I heard that. The Spirit was teaching me that this experience was exactly that. My faith was strengthened by seeing how real Satan is, and how real the Savior and His Atonement are.

I am out of time, but I hope these lessons I learned have strengthened and helped you. In summary, help others, be humble, and go forward with faith.

Inactivity, service, staying put

SAN DIEGO — YAAAAAAAAAAAY I am so excited for Dad and Sara to be having their adventure! I love the stories:)

I actually went to school with Aubin Lewis, then she left for a few semesters. I can't remember if it was for a mission or something. Great stories. I'm glad you're having fun. 

The only thing I want you to do for me, Sara, is give Leena a great big hug and tell her how much I love her. She is one of my heroes. Seriously. She has changed my life a lot. Talk with her every chance you get and write it down so you can tell me about it:) I would love to hear her conversion story again. I forgot it! 

Guess what? The former mission president in Finland that just got released came to the Battalion yesterday. It was great to talk with him. He knows Leena of course. It made me miss pulla and piirakka. MMMMMMMMM.

You are not going to believe this, but Sister Kennington and I stayed together, stayed training sisters, and stayed in Black Mountain!!!! I am very humbled, very grateful, and so excited for this chance. I love Sister Kennington so much. She's my best friend! We have gone through more together than I ever thought was possible as a missionary. The amazing thing is we have learned how to love each other, despite all of the weaknesses we have. It is a hard thing to live with someone 24/7. I am grateful that I get to live with a patient, kind, and loving companion. I couldn't go through this refining process without someone like her. My furnace has been HOT, and is only heating up. But I am grateful for the opportunity to be changed.

It was such a sweet experience Sunday, not only because I was still in the area I love with all my heart, but because I walked in and Kyle, the less active we have been working with since November — the one who is stubborn and hard on the outside, but really a softie on the inside — showed up in a white shirt and the tie we bought him. He got up and said the closing prayer as well. No one in this world can tell me that people can't change. That is a total LIE!

I was taught another lesson from Elder Seegmiller about why so many people stay less active. It is because they feel they have to fix their mistakes BEFORE they can go back to church, when it is church that is the place to help them become better. So what if someone has a problem with the Word of Wisdom. So what if a person has a problem with the Law of Chastity or keeping the Sabbath day holy. I hope and pray that you or I would not make any of them feel that they could not enter a place for healing the wounded soul. In fact, it is our duty to find them and to help them understand that they NEED to come back, that they are loved. Keeping the laws is the least of their problems.

It is coming back to change, to align themselves with God, to repent that is what keeps people from returning to God. So please, please, please don't be the cause of one of God's precious children shying away from the only place that will give them peace and hope. Its not just in our actions that keep them away, but in our LACK of action that does it as well.

Last thing I wanted to tell you about was Mormon Helping Hands day. Do you do that in Utah? I forget. Our branch was in charge of painting the community center in Mira Mesa. It was an amazing sight, painting the center. Our branch was on the roof, a bunch of 18-30 year-olds that could have been doing anything else on a Saturday afternoon. I took a moment to look around at them, and to walk to the edge of the roof and look down at the crowds of other members painting beneath me, laughing, painting, serving the community and serving God. People walked past with wonder in their eyes. I am sure thinking to themselves, "who on earth are these people? are they crazy?" Many of them, probably not even realizing that we are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints —followers of the Savior of the world.

I guess this scene hit me harder today, as an investigator's father claimed that our Church only thinks  about itself and no one else. If only he could have seen the selfless service of these people on this day. My soul was touched deeply with the pureness, the charity of it all. It was a great experience.

I guess the whole reason for my email today is that there is more happiness to be found than what you have right now.

I know that at times, you may read this and think, "Oh, she's just a missionary. She doesn’t remember what living in the world is like. She's just weird and all she wants to talk about is the Gospel." 

Some of you may even have a hard time remembering that I did live where you live, I am real! I experienced much of what you are experiencing now! Being a full-time missionary and a member of God's church is not as far separated as regular members of the church put us.

I challenge you to find the happiness that God has for you. Many of you may have to change where you are looking for it, but I promise it is there.

The henna tattoo and the Atonement

SAN DIEGO — This is the last week before transfers. I have spent nine months in the Black Mountain Young Single Adult branch. It has been an amazing experience, and I have seen a lot of miracles.

Next Wednesday will be transfers. I feel like I will probably be transferred and I think Sister Kennington and I will also not be the training sisters, either. There are so many wonderful sisters here, I am so excited to see who I get to serve under.

I guess I will get the sad news over first. Sister Kennington and I were up at four this morning to drive to the airport with the Seegmillers and Sisters Burden and Haggerty. Sister Haggerty's headaches came back and is not able to stay. It has been really sad, but we all know Heavenly Father has other plans for her. Elder Seegmiller took us to breakfast, it is always an amazing experience to spend time with him.


Let me tell you something about Elder Seegmiller. He always tells us, "You always have to ask when people refer to the Bretheren, is it a bretheren with a little b or Bretheren with a Big B?" Sister Kennington and I were talking about him the other night, Elder Seegmiller used to work as a go-between with mission presidents and the Twelve Apostles. Just being in his presence, you know you are learning from a man inspired of God.

Sister Kennington and I were laughing last night because we decided Elder Seegmiller is a "bretheren with bold, italicized and underlined" Definitely not a little b and not a big B, either. Heavenly Father has blessed me a lot to learn from him. I write down his words of advice often, I'll share a couple with you right now:

"If you know he won't get invited to the meeting at Adam-Ondi-Ahman, don't say "yes!"

"When talking to the Lord, never ask why, ask what!"

"Girls should go on missions, and the guys should wait. Just tell the guy, a year and a half is a perfect amount of time to save up money, go to school and prepare everything so that when you walk off the plane, you and he can have your first date at the temple!"

Anyway, he taught me a great object lesson about my henna tattoo the other day. We were talking about the Atonement and how I was trying to take the burdens of all the sisters upon myself. He said I should never cry to watch someone be given the opportunity to use the Atonement, but it is when they choose not to that the tears should freely flow.


He looked down at my hand, the henna much faded by now, and told me that my tattoo was an example of the Atonement. I had messed up, I didn't realize what I was doing and the consequence of my mess up was a bright reminder of what I had done. Every time I would give a tour, I would shake a hand, I had to deal with questions and looks of concern or questioning. Just looking at it myself I felt like an idiot every time.

With a lot of work, and with ENDURANCE, the henna has slowly started to fade. With time, I will have a completely new hand. The skin cells will renew and not a single mark of my mistake will be left.

That is the Atonement.

Oh how I wish I could have it scrubbed off that night. Then I wouldn't have had to account to president. Then I wouldn't have had to explain to my peers. But that is not how it it meant to be. I have never been more grateful for the slow and steady process of the henna fading. It has taught me a lesson: just like my hand, with endurance, hard work, and patience, I can use the Atonement in my life to become a completely new person.


As I was thinking about tattoos, my mind has completely 180'd to a really funny story that happened this week that I think you will appreciate. Since Sister Haggerty has been sick, we have been going on exchanges with her companion, Sister Burden, to cover her area as well as ours. We went to stop by a man named Dave in the ghetto of El Cajon. Just to give you an idea, he is a big African-American man that would scare the pants right off of you if you didn't know that inside he was a big teddy bear.

We met him in the parking lot of his apartment complex, and honestly he was being a little rude, washing and waxing his car and not really listening to us, even though he set an appointment. He made his nephew come listen, which was really great, but I was getting frustrated with the situation as we had promised both Dave and Heavenly Father that we would teach him the Restoration.

Well those of you that know my spunky great-grandma Dinah, I have inherited a diluted portion of that spunk (gumption?). I left the conversation with Sisters Kennington and Burden with Dave's nephew, and marched right up to Dave's car, took the wax and the rag from him and told him I would shine his rims, and he would walk over to the sisters and listen to something that would make him really happy.

(Now to give you a little perspective, we were all in pencil skirts because we had to go to our ward that night and be flight attendants for a FHE activity).

So here I am in a pencil skirt shining a guy's rims, all the while, more of his friends are coming up to watch and laugh at why on earth a little white girl is shining Dave's car. I wasn't paying attention very well. All i could think to do was pray with all my might that he would listen. But looking back on that, I can imagine how funny that must have been.

Oh, the crazy things we do as missionaries! It is so great!!!!


Before I go, a quick update on Cameron. He is doing so well. He hopefully will move his baptism date up to the end of April. He went to church again and we are meeting with him to teach him the Gospel at the temple tonight. Keep him in your prayers!


The work is moving forward on my end, I hope it is on yours.

Challeged testimony, challenging companion

SAN DIEGO — Family, I love you so much! I have to be quick today because I only have 20 minutes to write.

I only have time to share something from my journal. But I want to give you an update on Robert and Michael. Both are getting baptized in the next few weeks! Hallelujah! It is amazing to see how much they have changed! We also are now teaching a new investigator, Archie. His mom and sisters are baptized. He is so awesome!

September 12, 2011

Today was an answer to a week full of many hours on my knees in earnest prayer to Heavenly Father. This week has been so rough. Sister Nelson and I have been having a rough time being unified, so of course Heavenly Father has not been able to bless us.

I have been so worn out this week with so many things: trying to figure out how to have more charity for my companion, how to help my investigators feel the Holy Ghost testifying to the truth of what we are teaching, and trying to learn how to be a better teacher. I think Satan is really trying to pull me down. What a dumbhead! I guess it is a compliment from Satan. I must be doing something right if he is trying so hard to get me to fail. I have to admit, though I am honestly ashamed to, I let Satan batter my testimony this week.

Having people constantly bashing my testimony and giving me hundreds of reasons why God doesn't exist or why the LDS Church is wrong, I let myself wonder about what I know is true. Getting that day after day causes one to really think hard about their testimony- something I have honestly been searching my soul about this week. It was so scary for me to have doubts and wonderings about my testimony, especially being a missionary. What I do is testify of the truth! How could I be doubting?!? I have spent so many hours on my knees in earnest prayer, asking Heavenly Father to help remind me of the testimony I know I have always had. My answer didn't come all at once, but each day this week, Heavenly Father has shown me that He is real, that He loves me and truly does care about me.

On Wednesday as I was teaching Tai, (an atheist) an testifying to him that there is a God who loves him, I felt the spirit say, "Brittany! I do love him! I love all of you!".

On Thursday when we had the blackout, I was sitting outside looking up at the stars, and I realized how much Heavenly Father has given us. There is so much beauty all around, we just have to put on the right lenses to see it clearly!

On Friday while we were working at the temple, a man named Hector walked right up to the front doors and said he was spiritually lost and wanted to learn about the church. God does number his sheep!

On Sunday as I stood singing in front of a group of people, about "one who knows us perfectly" as it said in the song, I stood proudly with my head held high, for I knew that I was a daughter of God.

Today as we were walking away from a members home who wasn't home, a guy rode past on his bike. We waved and said hello and kept on walking. He (Gabe) turned his bike around and rode up to us and asked us if we were Mormon. He lives with some members of the Church and asked to learn more. God is so mindful of all of us! He wants all of His children to hear the Gospel!

If that is not an answer to my prayers, I don't know what is. I am so thankful to Heavenly Father for that reminder. I do know that God lives. He is real, He is my Father!

I love you all. I want you to know that no matter what hard things come to you in life, God is there. He loves you. Don't let Satan get you down, don't let him tear at your testimony like I did. He wants you to fail! If you are struggling and aren't sure, I promise you, that if you ask with a sincere heart, God will show you that He is real, He will answer your prayers. I don't know how or when, but i do know He will.

Shout-outs

Nick: I haven't gotten mail today, but thank you for sending me a letter! Also, I can't get on that site, but our branch president read us parts of it from President Monson's blog (in the Washington Post) - SO GOOD! Thanks for thinking of me!

Dad: Thanks for the BYU updates! We lost by one point?!????? GRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I can't believe I'm missing the first season we are Independent! This is SO exciting! Um- LIZZIE ENGAGED? I'm speechless- How exciting for her! My friend Maureen from nursing school is having a BABY! Wow, time sure does go by so fast! Wow. You might go back to Finland- SO SO SO SO SO JEALOUS!!!!!

Mom: We do go to the CES firesides (only because we are YSA missionaries) But, there was a missionary fireside that night, so we actually couldn't make it. Sister Nelson loves to sing, so we and 4 other sisters did a musical number, called "Let it begin" from EFY 2010. Can you believe I, Sister Newman, sang in front of a microphone with an actual audience?!? Yeah. I bet you are all speechless! Heavenly Father is finding many ways to get me to do things out of my comfort zone.

Speaking of things I don't normally do, Sara was asking what I do to work out in the mornings. I run around the Old Town Square for 15 minutes, and then the next 15 minutes consist of push ups, situps, lunges, squats, all of that fun stuff. Sis, You would be so impressed at my pathetically wimpy arms: you can almost see some muscle in there now!

Oh and about what I do with only having 15 minutes to eat: I have learned how to eat really really fast (no worries mom, I am the healthiest eater at the Battalion thanks to an awesome example of a mother!).

Mom, you called Sister Haggerty's mom. She was in the hospital this week. They don't know what is wrong with her, but if you could pray for her that would be great.

Someone asked about the power outage a few days ago. It was out from about 11 in the afternoon to 3 in the morning. We all had to come in from our areas and study and things. People had to leave the Battalion, and not finish the tours. I don't know how it worked out, but none of our food was spoiled- THANK GOODNESS, because we had just gone shopping!

Ray: Thank you for the email! So glad to hear everyone is doing well! I hope to see you today, if not, hope ya know I love ya! Tell your family hello for me!

Love you all with all my heart! Have a good week!