Miracles happen every day

SAN DIEGO — Today, I have A LOT of miracle stories to tell you. I think Heavenly Father has been testing our faith, seeing what we are made of. Three weeks with no one to teach can be a downer, but we have been working our very hardest and very smartest to move the work forward. 

Heavenly Father showed us this week how important diligence is. Diligence is continuing to work hard, even when you’re tired and to work with a hope in Jesus Christ. Let me tell you, we have been so tired!!!! But God moves His work at His timing. Let me give you an idea of what happened this week. Here are some of my journal entries:

Saturday July 28th

"We tried to contact a former member today. She set an appointment with us last week, and we were full of hope that she would “come through". It's amazing to see God’s hand in everything. Here in San Diego, everything is gated. If there is a gift Heavenly Father has given me as a missionary, it is that gates mean absolutely nothing to missionaries. We can always find a way to get the lock open, whether it be that we pray real hard that someone drives out, or we talk a nice resident into opening it for us. The same thing happened today. Just as we walked up, a truck drove out and we were able to stroll right inside the gates.

It is a run-down community that we were in as we walked past some little kids playing ball in the street, giving them all high fives; it is so neat to see how that simple act brightens a child’s day. We knocked on the door and her mother told us to go away and come back later. This was one of Sister Miller’s first experiences with rejection, but she handled it like a champ. We decided to walk around the complex since we were here in the first place.

We knocked on another door and a big gruff bald man answered the door, with a resulting slam of the door in our face. Still, we kept walking. It was so neat to watch Sister Miller listen to the Spirit. We walked past a door and I saw her look at it, so we walked up and  we were able to talk to a man, which happens to be going to nursing school. He set up an appointment, and is going to meet us at the church this week.”

August 4th, 2012 
The Taylors' Baptism

"Sherrie and Amber Taylor got baptized today! They are the mother and daughter that Sister Tanner and I were teaching in El Cajon. It was kind of surreal seeing them dressed in white. The program was beautiful. Sister Tanner gave a talk on baptism; it was so simple and so pure. She laid out the promises we make with God and the promises He makes with us: pure doctrine. The Spirit was so strong. 





Sister Riggs sang a beautiful EFY song called, "Live Like You Believe."  The Spirit hit my heart with full force. Sister Miller, just the night previous, had been discussing how urgent the work is. She was feeling down, because she felt that she didn’t understand the urgency of the work like she felt I did. As Sister Taylor came up out of the water, Sister Miller looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "I think I understand the urgency now". I wrapped my arms around her and knew exactly how she felt. This work is so important! The sisters played Reflections of Christ as the Taylors were getting dressed. I watched pictures of Jesus healing, helping, serving, and blessing. My spirit was touched with a remembrance of Him, of heaven. I know this work is real, how great Heaven will be to see all of our brothers and sisters who have accepted and are living the gospel of Jesus Christ..."

Monday August 6th 
Faith to Move mountains

"I’ve been trying not to get down with all that is happening lately. When I say all that is happening, I really mean all that has NOT been happening! I know that it all depends on the little things, so Sister Miller and I have been working on that nonstop — organizing the area book, getting members to every investigator, less active and recent convert lesson, asking everyone for referrals, making visions, plans and goals, loving, serving, and lifting. 

Today, I woke up thinking to myself, 'we just have to keep doing the little things, it will all work out, it always does'. Today that thought proved to be true. I think Heavenly Father has been testing our faith and patience, but WOW, the blessings have been poured out in buckets in just a few short hours!

1. We went to contact a referral and I got lost (of course). Because of that, we met a young single adult named Ryan who was walking to the bus stop. We talked to him about the Gospel, about the Restoration, and he agreed to meet with us!

2. A referral, Aaron, that we got from the Elders, wasn’t home. But we were able to meet his neighbor and sister’s babysitter who is a Jehovah's Witness, but surprisingly loves Mormons and has talked to missionaries before. Hopefully we will be able to work with her.

3. We stopped by a former member, Casey, who our ward mission leader asked us to visit. He agreed to meet with us this week!

4. Stopped by another former member, Ben. We set up a time to do service and he agreed to meet with us too!

5. Ended the day with a phone call from a girl named April, who the sisters gave a Book of Mormon to along time ago. She was going to a different church but didn’t feel right about it, so she started reading the Book of Mormon. She called us and told us she wants to be Mormon, and wanted us to meet her at the church on Sunday so she could go.

Miracles? I think SO! God works in his time, in his way, and by his means. I love being an instrument in his hands...

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Just this morning as I was doing my laundry, I talked with a man named Robert. He had a friend who gave him a Book of Mormon, but he passed away. Robert has never read the Book of Mormon, but we were able to talk about it. I taught him the Restoration, and in the middle of the laundromat we taught him the First Vision. The Spirit was strong despite the noise, and the Elders that were in the area he was living just happened to be doing laundry at the same laundromat. We set up an appointment and he wants to learn more.

Can you believe the miracles that happen everyday? I realize that we many times fall into the trap that the people in the Book of Mormon did, by not noticing the little things that happen. When we stop being grateful, when we stop noticing the miracles, we open our hearts to Satan. 

Live the Gospel. Let it become who you are and be grateful for the miracles that come your way. They will come, I promise.

"Newmans do hard things": An Open Letter to my Father

Dear Dad,

This week has been one of my top 10 hardest weeks of my mission so far. You have come to my mind a lot this week, and since this Sunday is Fathers Day, I decided I wanted to write specifically to you.

Transfers were this week. I got transferred after more than half my mission in Black Mountain to a family ward in El Cajon. The difference between the two is night and day. I now have my own bottle of pepper spray. Enough said. I think you probably have an idea of what its like there.

Sister Tanner is my new companion. She is 25, from Canada. She teaches 8th grade English and is a sweetheart. We are the training sisters at the Mormon Battalion.

Dad, I thought I knew what hard was. I had no idea. Sister Kennington and I have been together for five transfers. She is my best friend. I calculated it out, and if what they say about a mission as being a "mini life", Sister Kennington and I have been companions for 50 years. Imagine you and mom not being together anymore and I bet you can get a taste of how much that hurt.  It is so hard to love my new area, but Heavenly Father has a way of expanding my capacity to love far more that what I ever imagined. I have to say I was in complete shock when I heard Heavenly Father still needed me to be training sister.

I'm so tired Dad. So, so tired.

Do you remember when we went on Trek and we had the women's march? My family’s cart got taken and we had to spread out and help pull the other families' carts. I got assigned to one of the end ones that did not have the six to eight people pulling a cart, but we had four, if I recall. I remember looking at Corinne Christensen, who was in the family I was assigned to. Both of us were thinking the same thing, I am sure.

"How on earth will we ever be able to do this?"

We started pulling. I can remember the sweat dripping down my face, the blisters on my palms throbbing, my feet hurt so bad. I remember the poor sister next to me wanting to rest but we just couldn't. She let go, and the wagon started rolling down hill. Tears filled my eyes as the weight of the cart started pulling me down. I wanted to fall to my knees and give up, but I knew if we lost the momentum we would roll to the bottom and there would be no way we could get to the top of the hill. I said a prayer, begging Heavenly Father to help us, I looked up through my watery eyes and there was Brother Richardson, with tears in his, smiling at me and telling me I could do it.

I feel like I re-lived that experience in a way this week. The natural human part of me overtook my faith. All I could think about is how tired I am. Not just tired at the end of a long missionary work day. Thinking about what Heavenly Father was asking me to do, I felt like dropping to my knees and giving up. But he has sent angels to lift me up. It is amazing experiencing the power of Heaven.

I had this image pop in my head of how I have been feeling this week: Imagine one of the laborers in the vineyard. The master of the vineyard gives him a plot of land to cultivate. He digs and digs, sweats, worries and cries over these precious plants. At the end of the day, he straightens out his aching back, leans on his earth-filled shovel, wipes the sweat from his brow, and looks at the beautiful, lush vines growing on his plot. You can imagine his excitement to keep this precious earth that he has come to know and appreciate alive, but alas, the master of the vineyard has something else in store for him: a new plot of land, a new earth to learn, to cultivate, to revive.

Only to the laborers' dismay, this plot of land is scorched by wildfire, only few evidences of growth. This laborer — though tired, aching, and a little dismayed — starts the next day digging and cultivating, and though he's not sure what the master has in mind, knows that with the master's help, even the blackest of earth can be reclaimed and revived into a more lush and green garden that it was before.

To be honest, before I was able to fight the thoughts of doubt and inadequacy that Satan had put in my mind, and replace those with thoughts of hope and faith, I broke down. I cried through all my tours. It took all I had to pray to Heavenly Father to help me stop crying long enough to say my part of the tour. I hate that I am human.

Do you remember those times when I would be so upset because I hated how I Heavenly Father always "made me" do the hard things when it seemed everyone else got to have fun? I remember a handful of times when I would sit on your lap and cry. You would rock with me and remind me that "Newmans do hard things and Newmans do what Heavenly Father asks".

I hated when you said that.

I just wanted to yell, "Well then, I don't want to be a Newman!" But now I am grateful for it. I Know I am a Newman. I know I am a daughter of a King. And we do hard things.

I have the first letter that you wrote me when I got to the mission home. I keep it close when times are hard. I read this part the other night.

"Brittany, I know that oftentimes you have to dig down deep for the strength you need to do the things that you want to do, but just like a mine which has priceless treasures buried deep down, I am confident that you will be able to find those treasures within yourself and share them with other people"...

 I'm digging deep, Dad. Deeper than I ever have. I know you would be proud of me.

I didn't have you here when I was practically on the verge of despair. The Holy Ghost was yelling in my ear, "you need a blessing."

I called Elder Seegmiller, and just like I used to when I would call you up in college when things were hard, immediately I started crying when I heard his voice. He came over to the Battalion and gave me a blessing. I have a testimony of the power of the priesthood.  I could not do this without extra power from heaven. I would have given in. I would have given up.

I want to share one part of the blessing that stuck out to me. I was told that you pray for me every night. And that though you can’t be with me, your prayers reach the heavens and have acted as a fathers blessing to me. Dad, thank you. Thank you with all my heart. I am very aware that there is a power that is going against me. It is real. It is tangible at times. I know that yours and mom's prayers have saved my life.

I love you with all my heart. Happy Fathers Day.

Cameron's Baptism

SAN DIEGO— A LOT has happened this week! I guess some of you know that Cameron was baptized on Saturday. It was AMAZING. Let me share part of my journal about it with you (I barely had time to write down his story, so its not that great of an entry).

Sister Kennington and I at Cameron's baptism

May 26, 2012
I can't believe this day finally came. 

This was one of the most powerful baptisms I have been to so far on my mission. Jason, his friend in the Church, bore a powerful and simple testimony and then we had a musical number by Kelly.

She sang, "I Will", by Hilary Weeks which blasted the room with the Spirit. The song was about standing tall even if you are alone-something that Cameron has had to do ever since we started teaching him. 

We then watched Cameron and Brother Bryant (the one who referred him to us) walk into the baptismal font. Sister Kennington and I had our arms around each other as Cameron was baptized. It was amazing. I knew that if my spirit was as excited and thrilled as it was, the hosts of heaven must be singing for joy. I wanted to cry as I pictured Heavenly Father smiling down from heaven. What a proud Father He must have been at that moment. 

As Cameron was getting dressed, Sister Kennington and I shared a message. We played the Mormon Message, "The True and Living God" by Elder Holland.  Then we had three of our members (who we previously asked) to one by one get up and share their one-sentence testimony of Jesus Christ. 

"I know that my Savior lives." 

"I know Jesus forgives me of my sins."

"I know if we follow Jesus Christ we can return to live with God"

Just imagine the power of those simple, yet intense testimonies of Christ. Sister Kennington and I then got up: 

"I know Jesus is the Christ" 

"I know that Christ lived. He died. And He lives again." 

As we closed in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, we all sang the hymn, "I Believe in Christ".  At the close of the song, our Branch President invited Cameron to get up and share his testimony. He said that he had researched, studied and read the Book of Mormon and that he knows the Gospel and the Church are true. He explained that he felt like he had been through his own great apostasy, but now he was found. 

It was so touching to hear him testify. You can tell what a strong spirit he is. It was confirmed to me again, when he was receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost. His blessing said that he was one of Heavenly Father's favorite sons and that one day he would be sealed in the temple. It hit me so hard how much Heavenly Father wants each of us back. 

We all have our own “apostasies", whether it is lack of reading, praying, or studying the scriptures. Whether it breaking the commandments, not going to the temple, thinking bad things... whatever it may be, living the gospel of Jesus Christ is what brings us back and what keeps us on the right track.

I was reading the conference talk "In tune with the Music of Faith". Elder Cook's words stood out to me:

"Having faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and keeping his commandments are and always will be the defining test of mortality."

What we do defines us. This time on earth IS important. It is where we prove to God who we really are. If you are struggling, let me share with you some advice from President Kimball:

"I find that when I get casual in my relationships with divinity and when it seems that no divine ear is listening and no divine voice is speaking, that I am far, far away. If I immerse myself in the scriptures the distance narrows and the spirituality returns."

I think the question is not, "Does God hear me?", I think the question is "How far away am I from hearing His answer".

Speaking of answers to prayer, let me share with you a quick miracle Sister Kennington and I experienced this week before I end. 

A few weeks ago, Sister Kennington got the impression to ask the elders if they wanted us to meet with one of their investigators, Camilla. They are teaching the whole family, in fact missionaries have been teaching them for years. The elders accepted, as they were on their last resorts to figure out how to get this family to understand. Sister Kennington and I went over about a week ago, and got to know her. It was perfect. She is a 17-year-old girl, and you know how well it would have gone over if she tried to tell the elders about her prom dress and her frustrations about her 1-day-old manicure chipping. Needless to say, we clicked right away and were able to teach her the Restoration. 

The Spirit testified so strongly; I was almost expecting the Holy Ghost to start shouting at us. Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost were able to work miracles on her in those precious few minutes and her understanding was clear and her heart was opened. Just yesterday, we met with her again. It was funny because the elders were there with the parents doing service. We taught Camilla in the dining room. We retaught the Plan of Salvation and once again the Spirit was intense. In fact, my heart was pounding out of my chest, I could almost hear a voice yelling to invite her to be baptized. 

She said yes! She wants to be baptized this weekend before her and her family go to Brazil. Her dad called us today not very happy, he says its too fast and she is not ready for that. If there is one thing I have learned it is that, with God anything is possible. If he gave Moses the power to part the Red Sea, who am I to think he can't soften the heart of an old man? Definitely something Heavenly Father will do if it is according to His will. So please Keep Camilla and her family in your prayers.

Roller coasters and choices

SAN DIEGO — Since Cameron is going to be baptized this Saturday, he has been on my mind a lot. I wanted to share this week's experiences from my journal and share some thoughts about what happened.

May 18, 2012

Yesterday, Sister Burden and I were on exchanges. We taught Cameron about the priesthood right after he had his baptismal interview with Elder Smith. The Spirit testified with such a power that even I was taken aback. 

Later in the lesson, we asked Cameron what it meant to him that there is a prophet on the earth. He told us that after he watched the movie/biography of President Monson's life, "On the Lords Errand", he fell to his knees and asked God if President Monson was His prophet. He bore such a strong witness of the answer he received that tears came to my eyes. In that moment I realized that the angels were probably sitting in silence, hanging on every word as one of their fellow brothers bore truth of the prophet of God. We ended by watching a Mormon Message called, "Sanctify Yourselves" by Elder Holland. We all had tears in our eyes as we watched the power of the priesthood heal a little boy from being electrocuted in a rainstorm. Think of the power of that! There is no power to equal the priesthood in the whole world...

May 19, 2012

Cameron called and told us that he had finally talked to his parents and told them about his decision to be baptized. He was very sad, because his parents were not very happy. His parents mean the world to him, and for them to be upset and accuse him of making an irrational decision definitely stung deep. What he told us on the phone touched my heart. He said that he knew that at some point he would stand in front of Jesus Christ and it wouldn't matter that his parents were mad. It would matter if he chose to make and keep covenants with God. His simple yet firm testimony strengthened my testimony that I too know that my Redeemer lives!

May 21, 2012

.... On the way to Family Home Evening, we realized that were locked out of the church, so we called Brother Bryant and he let us use the restroom and even had leftover chicken pot pie for us on the table when we arrived (He is the one who referred Cameron)! He told us that last night Cameron came over and was very upset. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to get baptized because his family is so upset by it. 

They were able to talk, and Brother Bryant asked if he would be okay if those that wanted to in the branch could fast with him tomorrow. After FHE Brother Bryant explained that Cameron was having a hard time and those that wanted to could join in a fast for him tomorrow. Josh asked if we could say a prayer for him. About 20 Young Single Adults knelt in prayer in our branch president’s front room and the sweetest, most earnest prayer was offered for a man that many of them have only known for a few weeks, yet sincerely call him friend. The love, the charity, the unity and faith of this moment was tangible, it was breathtaking. This is what it means to be a disciple of Jesus Christ...

I wanted to share a few moments this week to help you get a glimpse of what missionary life can be like. Full of ups and downs, disappointments, miracles, frustrations, and happiness. I believe that this roller coaster ride Heavenly Father has developed is the curriculum to build our faith.

I have been studying about faith this week and have learned so much. It was very apparent to me this week noticing my feelings and the feelings of my companion as we experienced ups and downs. I wondered to myself, why am I letting my faith parallel these experiences? Why isn’t my faith at a constant incline? It is amazing to me what faith is. Faith is a principle of power. 

"If ye will have faith in me ye will do whatsoever thing is expedient in me" Moroni 7:33.

I have experienced something on my mission and that is the power of prayer and the power of faith. It is by prayer, by our words that we call down the powers of heaven and it is by our faith that we receive it. 

I love what the Bible Dictionary says Faith will give us: 

1. The knowledge that our lives are acceptable to God. 

2. Blessings 

3. An assurance of our salvation

In there it also explains obstacles to our faith: 

1. Hard heart and blind eyes. 

2. Looking for approval from others and not seeking the honor of God. 

3. Doubt.

As I have been pondering, My mind was swept away into a daydream: I see myself standing in heaven with the angels showing me what my life will be like. Before I can start my journey on earth, they ask me one question. "Brittany, what will you choose?" I see my self standing up from my chair, and looking at the angel who asked me the question. I reply- "I choose FAITH!"

What will you choose?

Imperfection, Action, and the Great and Spacious Building

SAN DIEGO – Heavenly Father has really decided to push and pull me around a little bit —and it is definitely working. I want to share with you some things today, some lessons I have learned: some experiences that have humbled me, and some moments that have strengthened my faith. It's a lot, so please bear with me.

Before I start, I want to tell you what I used to think of when I heard the word "missionary". I thought of a guy dressed in black pants, a white shirt, name tag on shirt, scriptures in hand ready to conquer the world. I thought they could do no wrong, they knew every answer, they never had a hard time, they never messed up. You can see that my understanding of what it means to be a missionary was very skewed.

I want to open up my life as a missionary and let you see that though I do have a black name tag on my shirt, I am imperfect: I mess up, and life is HARD for me many times. I cried myself to sleep last night; this week has been so hard. I am not telling you this to get your pity or sympathy. I am sharing this because I want you to know that I am just like you. And just like you, there are lessons that I need to learn to be a better daughter of God.

I hope that as I write by the Spirit and you read by the Spirit, that my experiences this week can help you learn something that God needs you to learn to reach your full potential as well.

First, let me share with you some lessons I learned:

Elder Zwick, if you remember, toured our mission a few months ago. This past month, he was touring Samoa, Tahiti, and other islands in the South Pacific. On his way back, he stopped once again in San Diego and wanted to take his family through the tour with some other close friends. He asked if he could have a fireside with the sisters at the Battalion. I want to share with you a story. I only have time for one, but maybe next week.

This story actually comes from Sister Zwick. She told us a story about her son Scotty, who is in his thirties and has some mental disabilities and thus lives in a group home in Orem while they travel around the world.

The temple President in Portland are the Zwick's good family friends. The president shared an email with Sister Zwick that his son had emailed to him. His son had been having a really hard time with his family and other things. He was really feeling low. But he was really excited for General Conference that was coming up, and he was praying and praying and praying that something one of the General Authorities would say would answer the questions of his soul.

Session after session ended and by the time the closing prayer was ended, he felt dejected and that God had not heard his pleas. Just at that moment his cell phone rang and the caller ID said, "Scott Zwick". Brandon wasn’t going to answer it, because phone calls with Scotty are often full of questions and last a really long time, and quite frankly, Brandon felt that he wasn’t in the mood, but something made him answer the phone. He heard Scotty's voice on the phone and he said, "Brandon, I just wanted to call you and tell you that Jesus loves you and I love you too." Brandon explained, that at that moment, he knew that God had heard him and did know who he was.

And all that he needed to know was that he was loved, by a Father in Heaven and by His Son, Jesus Christ.

Do you see what I mean when I tell you that what you do makes a difference! Listen to the Spirit when he urges you to do something. If you don’t act, God will use someone else to do his will, and what a shame it would be to not be trusted by God enough to follow out His will.

Second, Let me share with you an experience that humbled me. I think I will write this out of my journal because I really don’t want to retell it- I hate messing up!

May 3, 2012

"Today was really hard. We had our weekly training meeting where we train the sisters at the Battalion. Sister Kennington and I did the training and then separated to practice with the sisters. When we came back, my group was a little late, so they were already talking. I asked if my group could hear what was said. We went on with training, but I could tell something was hurting my companion. I looked at her and my heart sank. 

I knew that I had acted out of harmony with Jesus Christ, for I had caused her hurt. We talked and I came to the realization that I had made her feel that I didn’t trust her to wait for all of us to get back into the room and I didn’t work with her in unity. I have been trying so hard to be better at allowing others to lead, but I think the harder and harder I try, the more and more I seem to mess up. 

It is really hard for me to allow others to lead. It's a weakness I know I need to get over to become a true disciple of Christ. It may seem like a little thing that happened today, but I realize that if my companion felt badly about it, then it matters a lot. She is so gracious and so patient with me, something I admire in her a lot. I think this experience opened my eyes to how much Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ care. This little things that we do matter. The little ways we mess up, and then become better are a big deal. We don’t live life by the year; we live it by the hour, by the minute, by the second. It is day by day that we become who we are meant to become....."

Finally, I have one more experience I want to share, a moment that has strengthened my faith. Cinco de Mayo in Old Town is CRAZY. I mean ridiculous. Sister Kennington and I were at the temple in the morning and then on shift at the Battalion at night. A drive from the temple that usually takes about 10-15 minutes took us just over an hour.

We were driving bumper to bumper trying to get to our apartment, which gave us plenty of time to watch what was going on around us. It hurt my heart to watch how past feeling all of these people were. Alcohol, tobacco, loud, offensive music, inappropriate dancing and actions, immodesty (bad, I mean real bad). It was like a movie, driving through a sea of people who weren’t real, they were literally like zombies.

Later, Elder Seegmiller shared with us his experience with being down in the middle of it at the booth. He told the sisters there to watch him. He walked into the middle of the swarm of people making their way to who knows where and he would wave right in front of their face. None of them acknowledged him. None of them knew he was there. He related it to the great and spacious building. My heart started pounding as I heard that. The Spirit was teaching me that this experience was exactly that. My faith was strengthened by seeing how real Satan is, and how real the Savior and His Atonement are.

I am out of time, but I hope these lessons I learned have strengthened and helped you. In summary, help others, be humble, and go forward with faith.

"I know I need to live it. I just don't want to"

*Editor's Note: While the story below is true, the investigator's name has been changed.

SAN DIEGO — For today, I just wanted to tell you two things that have been on my mind. The first is about our investigator, *Suzy.  Suzy is an investigator I have been teaching since the summer. We have had a lot of ups and downs together, and let me just say nothing has changed!

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February 26, 2012

It is amazing the highs and lows you have as a missionary. I suppose that is just life really. Looking back on my journal, I know that many of these pages are filled with the success and triumphs as well as failures and disappointments while teaching Suzy.

I can still remember the first time I taught her with Sister Nelson, I had no idea what she was saying, and frankly, I don't think she did either. As I fast forward in my mind, I can see the night that Sister Kennington called me as we were on exchanges practically squealing that she had just taught Suzy the Restoration, and all she could say was, "I get it. I get it. I get it!"

I fast forward again and clear as day I can see the light growing brighter in Suzy's countenance as she prays, reads, and agrees to live the commandments.  Then the moment we taught her the Law of Chastity leaps off the pages of my memory — I can still feel the disappointment, and the sadness as Sister Kennington and I realized that she was not willing to change, I can still hear the words, "I know I need to live it, but I just don't want to".

Again, I fast forward to yesterday and there I was, sitting in the teaching room at the Battalion with tears spilling down my face as I recalled the conversation we had just had with Suzy just a few days before about choosing this day whom she would serve. She had made her decision not to follow Heavenly Father, and there I sat staring at the cell phone, knowing that God expected me to account to her for her decision. My heart broke as I dialed her number, as the message machine picked up, and as I had to leave her a message telling her that because she chose not to follow Heavenly Father, there was nothing Sister Kennington and I could teach her that would matter if she wouldn't follow God anyway.

I struggled with myself that night. We had been fasting for Suzy. We had been praying for her. Studying for her. I knew I could not doubt God, for if there is one thing I know without a doubt. HE KNOWS BEST.

This morning came, and I struggled to have high spirits, for the sting of her decision was still weighing on my soul. How could she not choose Heavenly Father? I was in my own mind, thinking about that as we were driving to church as I looked down, and my breath caught. The screen on the cell phone was blinking: incoming call-Suzy. I answered the phone, thank goodness she could not see my face, for both Sis Kennington and I both had mixtures of curiosity, dread, and pure excitement on our faces.

She told us that she was in the church parking lot and wanted to know where we were.

I can't explain entirely the lesson I learned this week. But that does remind me of the second thing I wanted to tell you that I learned this week.  I was watching the church DVD called, "On the Lord's Errand" the other morning. It is a biography of President Thomas S. Monson. There is one comment that President Monson said that has had more impact on my mind than I ever knew could.

I probably won't be able to say it as good as he did, but I will give it a try. He said, " I want to be the kind of person that the Lord can turn to me and say, "I can ask Tommy, he will run my errand."

I have thought about that a lot this week. I think of the people that I can rely on to help me with the things that I need. I also think of those that honestly I wouldn't ever ask, because I know they would let me down. What kind of servant am I? What kind of servant are you?  Are you more focused on doing what you want in the way that you want at the time that you want? Or are you the kind of servant that has given your will to God. A servant that your Heavenly Father can turn to and say, I can ask (so and so), they will run my errand? Think about that. I know I have, and there are some things I need to change in my life.

Prayer is real. God is real. And He can only give us power according to our faith.

The show must go on

SAN DIEGO — We sent off Sister Christensen this morning. She is a stellar missionary, and it broke my heart watching her leave. What an amazing legacy she has left for all of us. She is an example of a stalwart servant of God and has put true meaning to what it means to "Return with Honor". I was giving a tour with her yesterday and asked her what her last piece of advice would be for me. She told me to remember that no matter what happens in life, "The show must go on".

How true that is! Life goes on, the days come and go, the seasons change, the years pass by and nothing can stop it. Our attitudes, our actions, our desires are what give meaning to the precious time we have. Whatever trials we face, whatever heartaches come our way, it is our attitude that makes "our show" one of despair and disappointment or one of hope and happiness.



On the opposite scheme of things, this week I also sat in the front room of a sister that had no desire to be here anymore — who couldn't wait to pack her bags and go home. I sat in her living room, my heart broken, and sick to my stomach of what that kind of decision would do to this sister. I have learned that just as much as God is real, so is the adversary. Fortunately we are on the winning side!

I told you last week that Sister Kennington and I were going to irritate Satan this week, and I think we can say "mission accomplished." I don't know if you remember Ali. He is the Muslim that we had to stop teaching until President Clayton talked with him. He had his interview on Friday and President said we could teach him. On Sunday, we went over to his house and started completely from scratch. He doesn't even know who Jesus Christ is as he was never raised Christian, so we decided to watch the Finding Faith in Christ DVD with him. I want to share that part of my journal with you this week as it was one of my highlights. 

Sunday, December 19, 2011

Ali couldn't make it to church today, so we asked him if we could drop by later. We went over to the house he is staying at and watched Finding Faith in Christ with him. I can't explain how happy and relieved and thankful and excited I am to be able to teach him again. I can't explain it, but I know I promised Ali in heaven that I would find and teach him the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Of course, I probably have done that for our other investigators as well, but it just seems different somehow. Words can't explain what it was like tonight, sitting with Ali, who has no idea what the Savior did for him. We had to keep pausing during the movie to explain things to him: who the man and woman were who were looking for a place to stay in Bethlehem, who the 12 men were that were following Jesus Christ, and what was happening when Jesus Christ was kneeling down and praying to God in agony in the Garden of Gethsemene. As we paused at that moment, and looked at our Savior performing the Atonement, he looked over at me with tears in his eyes, and all he could say was, "Wow".

The Spirit hit me so hard, it felt as though I could barely breathe. Heavenly Father not only testified to Ali that what we were showing him was real, but he testified once again to me, that my Savior lives, that Jesus Christ really did perform the Atonement. I love this Gospel so much. I love my Savior with all my heart. And I am so grateful for the precious gift Heavenly Father gave me during this Christmas season: a reminder that He loves me and that is why He sent His son to the earth. The only words I have to say, are those of my friend Ali — wow.

Let's not forget:

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved."

Can't wait to talk to you on Sunday! :)