See Him as He May Become

SAN DIEGO — The first week of the transfer has been great. I still am in Helix Singles Ward. That makes 11 out of 13 transfers in a Young Single Adult ward! So much fun. So much DRAMA! 

Our new companion is Sister Crawford. She is from Wyoming and has actually been out about five months. She is a sweetheart. It is definitely a new challenge being in a threesome companionship, but I love it.

I know a lot of you have and are having challenges right now. I don’t know why all these things happen, but I know it will all work out. I love you all, and I am so excited to be there seeing you become who Heavenly Father wants you to become. That is something that has been on my mind this week, to see others as they may become.

When I first left for my mission, President Homer blessed me that I would be able to see others as they really are and not be afraid of who they appear to be. I thought that was interesting as I started my mission, now I can see what Heavenly Father meant.

Yesterday, we got a text message that said, "What do you believe about gays?" I explained that marriage between a man and woman is ordained of God. We had quite a long chat over text, and it appeared that he was just trying to argue with us. We explained that all of us are children of God, and that the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored to the earth so all mankind can find peace and happiness in this life and live with God in the next. 

Surprisingly to me, James, the texter, agreed to meet.

All that night, I kept thinking about the conference talk by President Monson, "See them as they may become".



President Monson tells a story: during a mission conference, N. Eldon Tanner Interviewed a missionary asking how he had so much success. The Elder replied that he "attempted to baptize every person whom he met. He said that if he knocked on the door and saw a man smoking a cigar and dressed in old clothes and seemingly uninterested in anything — particularly religion — the missionary would picture in his own mind what that man would look like under a different set of circumstances. In his mind, he would look at him as clean-shaven and wearing a white shirt and trousers. And the missionary could see himself leading that man into the waters of baptism. He said, "When I look at someone that way, I have the capacity to bear my testimony to him in a way that can touch his heart"

As our lesson came yesterday, I kept thinking about that. See him as he may become, see him as he may become, SEE him as he may BECOME! We sat down, and I could feel the Holy Ghost calming my heart. We gave him a church tour, and as we were in the chapel, I asked him how he felt. He explained that some missionaries had talked to him and told him to read a part in the Book of Mormon last night and as he did, he felt good, just as he did right then. We continued our lesson bearing testimony of the Holy Ghost and invited him to be baptized, which he accepted. This man can become a priesthood holder in the kingdom of God!

I am so grateful for this lesson I learned. Church is not a museum for saints; it is a hospital for sinners. The Gospel is to heal EVERYONE. President Monson said, "We have the responsibility to see individuals not as they are, but rather as they can become".

I am so grateful for who each of you are:

Mom: You are an amazing example of selfless service. I have lived all my life watching you help and serve and work hard for all of us around you.

Dad: You are organized and motivated. You have taught me the importance of not being asked to do, but to take the initiative to do yourself.

Most importantly, you both are wonderful parents of 2 sons and 2 daughters of a Heavenly King!

Nick: You have a tender heart, and a passion for people. You have taught me what it means to truly love, and be interested in others and make sure they know it. You are an amazing father, brother, husband and friend.

Juli: You are a nurturer. You teach and bless all of us. Your kiddos, your family. You are an amazing teacher in the Kingdom of God.

You both have inspired me and taught me how to raise my children with a love of the gospel. Thank you!

Chris: You are the most diligent person I know. You work hard to achieve your goals, provide for your family, and accomplish your dreams. Because of you, I know I can do hard things!

Hannah: You find joy in the journey. You know how to laugh and help others find joy in the journey too. You are inspiring to both of your families and will continue to bless your future family too.

Sara: You are an example of courage. Not because you are never scared, but because you face all of your trials with faith, and boldness, and dedication. I have never met a braver soul. You inspire me to keep moving forward no matter what. You are my sister, and my friend. You have changed my life forever!

That is only a glimpse of what I see in all of you, and that is not even who Heavenly Father knows you can become! Don’t be content with where you are now. You are meant to be heirs to the Kingdom of Heaven. This life is preparation for eternity.

I want you to know something: how you view each other and how you view the world, is as it will become. If you find the faults, that is all you will see. Let's not look at each other or the world with all our faults. We are meant for more. 

We will one day be in our eternal home, Dad, Mom, Nick, Juli, Chris, Hannah, Sara — You are special and I cant wait to have you for eternity.

I have made a promise to myself that I will NEVER be the reason why someone else can’t change. We all have the potential to become. Let’s help each other see it in ourselves.

Imperfection, Action, and the Great and Spacious Building

SAN DIEGO – Heavenly Father has really decided to push and pull me around a little bit —and it is definitely working. I want to share with you some things today, some lessons I have learned: some experiences that have humbled me, and some moments that have strengthened my faith. It's a lot, so please bear with me.

Before I start, I want to tell you what I used to think of when I heard the word "missionary". I thought of a guy dressed in black pants, a white shirt, name tag on shirt, scriptures in hand ready to conquer the world. I thought they could do no wrong, they knew every answer, they never had a hard time, they never messed up. You can see that my understanding of what it means to be a missionary was very skewed.

I want to open up my life as a missionary and let you see that though I do have a black name tag on my shirt, I am imperfect: I mess up, and life is HARD for me many times. I cried myself to sleep last night; this week has been so hard. I am not telling you this to get your pity or sympathy. I am sharing this because I want you to know that I am just like you. And just like you, there are lessons that I need to learn to be a better daughter of God.

I hope that as I write by the Spirit and you read by the Spirit, that my experiences this week can help you learn something that God needs you to learn to reach your full potential as well.

First, let me share with you some lessons I learned:

Elder Zwick, if you remember, toured our mission a few months ago. This past month, he was touring Samoa, Tahiti, and other islands in the South Pacific. On his way back, he stopped once again in San Diego and wanted to take his family through the tour with some other close friends. He asked if he could have a fireside with the sisters at the Battalion. I want to share with you a story. I only have time for one, but maybe next week.

This story actually comes from Sister Zwick. She told us a story about her son Scotty, who is in his thirties and has some mental disabilities and thus lives in a group home in Orem while they travel around the world.

The temple President in Portland are the Zwick's good family friends. The president shared an email with Sister Zwick that his son had emailed to him. His son had been having a really hard time with his family and other things. He was really feeling low. But he was really excited for General Conference that was coming up, and he was praying and praying and praying that something one of the General Authorities would say would answer the questions of his soul.

Session after session ended and by the time the closing prayer was ended, he felt dejected and that God had not heard his pleas. Just at that moment his cell phone rang and the caller ID said, "Scott Zwick". Brandon wasn’t going to answer it, because phone calls with Scotty are often full of questions and last a really long time, and quite frankly, Brandon felt that he wasn’t in the mood, but something made him answer the phone. He heard Scotty's voice on the phone and he said, "Brandon, I just wanted to call you and tell you that Jesus loves you and I love you too." Brandon explained, that at that moment, he knew that God had heard him and did know who he was.

And all that he needed to know was that he was loved, by a Father in Heaven and by His Son, Jesus Christ.

Do you see what I mean when I tell you that what you do makes a difference! Listen to the Spirit when he urges you to do something. If you don’t act, God will use someone else to do his will, and what a shame it would be to not be trusted by God enough to follow out His will.

Second, Let me share with you an experience that humbled me. I think I will write this out of my journal because I really don’t want to retell it- I hate messing up!

May 3, 2012

"Today was really hard. We had our weekly training meeting where we train the sisters at the Battalion. Sister Kennington and I did the training and then separated to practice with the sisters. When we came back, my group was a little late, so they were already talking. I asked if my group could hear what was said. We went on with training, but I could tell something was hurting my companion. I looked at her and my heart sank. 

I knew that I had acted out of harmony with Jesus Christ, for I had caused her hurt. We talked and I came to the realization that I had made her feel that I didn’t trust her to wait for all of us to get back into the room and I didn’t work with her in unity. I have been trying so hard to be better at allowing others to lead, but I think the harder and harder I try, the more and more I seem to mess up. 

It is really hard for me to allow others to lead. It's a weakness I know I need to get over to become a true disciple of Christ. It may seem like a little thing that happened today, but I realize that if my companion felt badly about it, then it matters a lot. She is so gracious and so patient with me, something I admire in her a lot. I think this experience opened my eyes to how much Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ care. This little things that we do matter. The little ways we mess up, and then become better are a big deal. We don’t live life by the year; we live it by the hour, by the minute, by the second. It is day by day that we become who we are meant to become....."

Finally, I have one more experience I want to share, a moment that has strengthened my faith. Cinco de Mayo in Old Town is CRAZY. I mean ridiculous. Sister Kennington and I were at the temple in the morning and then on shift at the Battalion at night. A drive from the temple that usually takes about 10-15 minutes took us just over an hour.

We were driving bumper to bumper trying to get to our apartment, which gave us plenty of time to watch what was going on around us. It hurt my heart to watch how past feeling all of these people were. Alcohol, tobacco, loud, offensive music, inappropriate dancing and actions, immodesty (bad, I mean real bad). It was like a movie, driving through a sea of people who weren’t real, they were literally like zombies.

Later, Elder Seegmiller shared with us his experience with being down in the middle of it at the booth. He told the sisters there to watch him. He walked into the middle of the swarm of people making their way to who knows where and he would wave right in front of their face. None of them acknowledged him. None of them knew he was there. He related it to the great and spacious building. My heart started pounding as I heard that. The Spirit was teaching me that this experience was exactly that. My faith was strengthened by seeing how real Satan is, and how real the Savior and His Atonement are.

I am out of time, but I hope these lessons I learned have strengthened and helped you. In summary, help others, be humble, and go forward with faith.

Tears

Well Hello Family!

I am writing you with tears dripping down my face. I hope you know how much I love you! I am such a leaky faucet sometimes — I just read your names on the envelope and I start crying! I think being away from home was a good way Heavenly Father wanted to remind me how much you all mean to me. All of you: friends, family, roommates, you all mean the world to me. Thank you for your inspiration in my life! Thank you for all the love you send my way. I won't have time to answer everyone's letters this week because our P-day is cut short, but I want you to know I love you!

I'm trying to think of things that have happened this week. Honestly, it has been a long, hard week of trying to find people to teach. We got stopped by an atheist this week. It is so hard to talk to people that just want to argue. Mostly because I can feel how much Heavenly Father wants to wrap them in His arms, and they don't even see it. For some reason, every time someone is angry, they never look at Sister Tardiff: they always stare me down. It is actually pretty funny, because Sister Tardiff just laughs at me, I just don't get why they can't look at and ask questions to both of us.

Sister Burden (one of the sisters that works at the Mormon Battalion) her dad visited this week. I introduced myself to him and he stopped and stared at me for a second and then said, "I used to know a girl who looks just like you and her last name was Newman. Do you know a Dona Newman Staples?" I, of course, said yes! His name is John Burden, He said he used to date Aunt Dona. If she doesn't read this, you will have to ask her about it.

I think I told you about Martha, the woman we met on the street a few weeks ago. She is really interested in the Gospel. Sister Tardiff and I have been praying to find a family to teach and I know this is an answer to our prayers. I can't describe how amazing it is to see how the Gospel changes people's lives. I will keep you up-to-date on her.

To answer some of your questions:

When are transfers?

Transfers are next Tuesday. Can you believe I have been out six weeks?

How do you get the people you teach?

Some of the people we teach come from ward members and investigators who give us names of people they want us to teach. Other people we find on the street, and others Heavenly Father has sent us straight into our hands.

What was it like for you to go through the temple?
Going through the temple was one of the best experiences of my life. Making those promises with God that will bring me closer to Him and allow me to one day live with my family and God forever, with more joy than I could ever imagine, is the best thing anyone could ever ask for. As I sat in the temple with my family all dressed in white, I have never felt closer to heaven in my life. I love the temple with all my heart. Who wouldn't want to go to a place that almost touches heaven, right? I am so lucky that I get to visit the San Diego temple every other transfer. This next transfer is my turn. I can't wait!

Okay, time is almost up, so let me share an entry from my journal this week:

August 4 2011

This morning as I was walking around Old Town Square for exercise, I was talking to Sister Lewis and she was telling me about a story she heard. ( I don't know where she read it, but if someone wants to look it up, feel free) Spencer W. Kimball, who was serving as a Seventy to Harold B. Lee at the time felt so inadequate. President Lee noticed his feelings of inadequacy and said, "Spencer, you need to try to be the best version of Spencer and not a bad version of Harold!" I realize that I have been letting feelings of inadequacy cloud my faith, especially as I have fallen prey to Satan's trap of having me compare myself to others. I went to the bathroom to pray for Heavenly Father's help. I can't explain the feelings of love He helped me feel.

Shout-outs:

Sister Mears: Thank you for sending that letter and the essay. I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but I am so excited! I am glad to hear Tyson is doing well, I have no doubt he is such an amazing missionary.

Sister Thompson: Thank you for your letter, especially that quote. I really needed to hear that today. I can't believe Jessica has started school. Wow, that is so crazy. It is good for us to have that experience though. I think college is one of the places that really helped me rely more on my Heavenly Father.

Juli: Thank you for the letter. You know it is KILLING ME not to know what happens with Bones and Booth. That is okay though, I have so many things to think about here, but I feel a Bones marathon coming when I get back:) Me and you girl, Mom's house, candy, and the boys can babysit.

Annalie: Thank you princess for that beautiful picture. I am going to hang it on my fridge once I get home. You are such an artist!

Marianne: I got your card. THANK YOU so much for that. You are such a lifesaver, and such an example to me. I really do look up to you more than you know. Tell Lucy and your parents hello for me!

Karen and the girls: Hello Ladies! Hope you are doing well. I love you all!

Grammy: Thanks for writing me so often. I love you so much. I think of you and Gramps all the time. I was playing UNO for P-day last week, and thought of all the hours you spent with me and Sara playing games. Thank you so much for those memories!

I want you all out there to know that you are NEVER inadequate in the eyes of God. He created you. He wants you to be the best YOU you can be. Satan is the one who wants you to think less of yourself than you are. Don't let him win! You are daughters and sons of God! You are perfect, because He is perfect and He made you.