"Even when you are tired": a lesson on diligence

" Salvation might come to him that should put his trust in the Lord and should be diligent in keeping his commandments, and continue in the faith, even unto the end of his life. If ye do this ye shall always rejoice and be filled with the love of God and always retain a remission of your sins: and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you..." Mosiah 4:6, 12.

SAN DIEGO — This week Heavenly Father answered my prayers. I asked him to help me understand the Christ-like attribute of diligence more clearly.

He gave me ample opportunities to practice! A few days ago, I was in the urgent care with one of the sisters from 11:30 p.m. to 4 a.m. Two and a half hours later, I was up and doing morning exercise. If you don’t already know this, sleep is a precious commodity in missionary work. 

And missionary work is just that — WORK! 

Put those two together, and I was one sleepy missionary.  I felt like I was trying to stay awake after taking an Ambien or something!  As I was reading about diligence earlier in the week in Preach My Gospel, one line stuck out to me: "Continue until you have done all you can, even when you are tired." 

Those words kept flashing across my mind as my eyes would droop in tours or lessons, but Heavenly Father helped me continue to be steady, consistent and energetic in His work. His promise came true that, "when you are diligent, you find joy and satisfaction in your work."

I have found a lot of joy this week in the work. I want to tell you about the miracle of the Avocado Ward starting to transform.

If whoever is reading this knows anything about my Dad and Mom, they are very very organized, and very hard working. In fact they are so organized that we have an alphabetical and numerical system to organize the collection of DVD's in our home. Also, family vacations would usually consist of a planned out calendar of our itinerary that Dad would email to us before we would leave on vacation. I bet you can imagine I picked up on a few of those characteristics.

I have found that the phrase, "God is a God of order" is essential in our quest to become like Him. In the Avocado Ward, we have been working so hard these past three weeks to get organized and gain the trust of the members. We have visited every member of the ward council and have plans on how we can work together in missionary work. We are teaching the ward members how to invite their friends to activities and church. And we have reorganized our reporting in ward council so the members can better understand our efforts in their ward. 

Just those simple things have transformed the spirit here. We were able to have 18 lessons this week with only 4 half days in our area (A full time missionary needs to get 20, so we were very blessed)! We are now teaching three part-member families, and Tracy and Amber have a baptism date for July 28th! And hopefully by next week, Sean (a different family) will have a date too. I'll keep you posted (Dad, you asked about Peter- he is a YSA, so we had to pass him off, but I'll let you know if I find anything else out about him).

I just want you to know my testimony of this work. There has been a transformation of what has been happening since I last wrote. Just look back and see the letters! It is the power of Heaven plain and simple. No one can claim that just literally a few weeks ago, this ward didn’t trust missionaries, they didn’t like missionary work, and we had no investigators to teach. Heavenly Father has sent us an army of angels to help us in this work, and because of that, we are seeing an explosion of miracles. 

There is rain falling on the scorched earth of Avocado — the rich soil that comes from burnt earth is sprouting fruit! I can’t wait to update you next week.

Trying to become the Fourth Missionary

SAN DIEGO — It's amazing the lessons you can learn in only a week's worth of time.

As I mentioned last week, it was one full of challenges. I am grateful for them. Heavenly Father has been teaching me a lesson about how to make my will His will.

My favorite story in the Book of Mormon is about Nephi (Lehi's brother, Nephi). I've always wanted to be like him. I've wanted Heavenly Father to trust me like he trusted Nephi, to have that kind of faith, that kind of diligence, that kind of courage. The other day I decided to read about him from the Book of Mormon.

"Blessed art thou Nephi, for those things which thou hast done, for I have beheld how thou hast with unwearyingness declared the word, which I have given unto thee, unto this people. And thou has not feared them, and hast not sought thine own life, but hast sought my will and to keep my commandments."

Okay, so honestly I read that, and thought, "Oh great, if this is Nephi, I am totally in the great and spacious building!"

I most definitely did not start this transfer with "unwearyingness" like Nephi did. I’m pretty sure the words, "I'm tired, I’m so tired" were flashing across my mind in big bright letters the whole last week.

And though I don’t fear these new people, I sure have been wary of them. I mean for heavens sake, I was reciting the First Vision to a less-active lady and she starts rolling up a cigarette and proceeds to lighting it and smoking it right as I am telling her that God and Jesus Christ themselves appeared to Joseph Smith!

The last part says that Nephi sought God's will. I felt like I have done that all my life, but I have learned that I have not quite hit the mark.

I was reading a talk by a General Authority called "the Fourth Missionary" It describes the characteristics of four different kind of missionaries and how you can become the fourth type of missionary. 

He said, "In the end, your heart and will is all you have to give that the Lord does not already have. It is the only true gift you have to offer. It is as easy as changing your mind. Tell Father, I give in, and I give up. My heart is yours. My will is yours."

This was my aha moment! In order for me to become like Nephi, I have to make it up in my mind. I wrote Heavenly Father a letter. It is special to me, but I want to share it with you:

------

"Dear Heavenly Father,

I was reminded today of how much you love me. Today is Fathers Day here on earth and my mind has been turned to you and my dad here. It’s always hard for me to know what I can do for you. I think that’s hard with all dads. You already have everything you could want. I read a talk today about aligning my will with thy will. I want you to know that I give up. I give all of it to you, Father. I want to give you my heart this Fathers day.

Love,

Brittany

-----

If you keep reading about when Nephi gave his will to God this is what happened. 

"And now because thou hast done this with such unwearyingness, behold I will bless thee forever and will make thee mighty in word in deed in faith and in works. Yea even all things shall be done according to they word for thou shalt not ask that which is contrary to my will."

I am so excited to be earning trust with Heavenly Father. It is such a great feeling. I have been so blessed this week. I want to end by sharing some of yesterday’s miracles from my journal.

June 18, 2012

Today was such an amazing day. It was our only full day this transfer and we were able to get a lot of appointments. My eyes were opened to the world today, to how real Satan is, and how real the powers of heaven are. I want to share a few experiences I had:

Natik: He is a referral from some sisters in the Carlsbad mission. We stopped by and he let us in. He is a refugee from Iraq as now 1.5 million Christians have been kicked out of his country. He was so open and willing to learn. It strengthened my testimony that every person we talk to matters. I think of what would have happened if the sisters wouldn’t have talked to him. But because they did, he has a chance to hear the Gospel.

Trinity: We went back to teach Julie. Her daughter, Trinity was there. She’s only five years old. We were sitting at the patio outside her apartment, we could see into the apartment at her five-year-old girl. We started the lesson with a prayer. I shouldn’t have peeked, but I did. Out of the corner of my eye I saw two little feet walking from the upstairs apartment down the stairs. Then I peeked again, and I saw her sad countenance. She was looking down, her hair covered her eyes, and her little hands placed a handmade cigarette on the table next to her mom. She slowly turned around, and I watched her walk slowly back up the stairs. I don’t know why, but that vision haunted me. How sad Heavenly Father must be to watch all of this from heaven.

Peter: He is one of the lost boys of Sudan. Last week, we met Peter crossing the street. He had his Bible in hand and his white smile radiated brilliantly against the contrast of his beautiful, black skin. We set an appointment and were able to meet with him today. He told us about his story. When he was four, his mom, dad and uncle were killed in front of him. Thousands of Sudanese children had to flee the country alone. Some of his friends were eaten by lions or lost in the jungle.

Others starved to death. I won't forget the way he looked at us as though we represented all of America, and he said, "thank you, we thank America for what you did". I imagined our Founding Fathers, though I am sure they are sick at some of the things that are happening in our country, at least some good still remains. 

Heavenly Father taught me a lot tonight. About the strength of his children, the hope that comes from the Atonement, and the reality of Satan. This battle is real. It seems like it should be a movie, this battle we are fighting against Satan. I suppose this fight against good and evil is what inspires the entertainment out there. Only this is REAL. It can’t just be shut off at the end of the credits. This is a matter of salvation...

Well, that was a lot to say this week, sorry! Kind of scattered, but I gotta go write my presidents letter.

Love you all!

"Newmans do hard things": An Open Letter to my Father

Dear Dad,

This week has been one of my top 10 hardest weeks of my mission so far. You have come to my mind a lot this week, and since this Sunday is Fathers Day, I decided I wanted to write specifically to you.

Transfers were this week. I got transferred after more than half my mission in Black Mountain to a family ward in El Cajon. The difference between the two is night and day. I now have my own bottle of pepper spray. Enough said. I think you probably have an idea of what its like there.

Sister Tanner is my new companion. She is 25, from Canada. She teaches 8th grade English and is a sweetheart. We are the training sisters at the Mormon Battalion.

Dad, I thought I knew what hard was. I had no idea. Sister Kennington and I have been together for five transfers. She is my best friend. I calculated it out, and if what they say about a mission as being a "mini life", Sister Kennington and I have been companions for 50 years. Imagine you and mom not being together anymore and I bet you can get a taste of how much that hurt.  It is so hard to love my new area, but Heavenly Father has a way of expanding my capacity to love far more that what I ever imagined. I have to say I was in complete shock when I heard Heavenly Father still needed me to be training sister.

I'm so tired Dad. So, so tired.

Do you remember when we went on Trek and we had the women's march? My family’s cart got taken and we had to spread out and help pull the other families' carts. I got assigned to one of the end ones that did not have the six to eight people pulling a cart, but we had four, if I recall. I remember looking at Corinne Christensen, who was in the family I was assigned to. Both of us were thinking the same thing, I am sure.

"How on earth will we ever be able to do this?"

We started pulling. I can remember the sweat dripping down my face, the blisters on my palms throbbing, my feet hurt so bad. I remember the poor sister next to me wanting to rest but we just couldn't. She let go, and the wagon started rolling down hill. Tears filled my eyes as the weight of the cart started pulling me down. I wanted to fall to my knees and give up, but I knew if we lost the momentum we would roll to the bottom and there would be no way we could get to the top of the hill. I said a prayer, begging Heavenly Father to help us, I looked up through my watery eyes and there was Brother Richardson, with tears in his, smiling at me and telling me I could do it.

I feel like I re-lived that experience in a way this week. The natural human part of me overtook my faith. All I could think about is how tired I am. Not just tired at the end of a long missionary work day. Thinking about what Heavenly Father was asking me to do, I felt like dropping to my knees and giving up. But he has sent angels to lift me up. It is amazing experiencing the power of Heaven.

I had this image pop in my head of how I have been feeling this week: Imagine one of the laborers in the vineyard. The master of the vineyard gives him a plot of land to cultivate. He digs and digs, sweats, worries and cries over these precious plants. At the end of the day, he straightens out his aching back, leans on his earth-filled shovel, wipes the sweat from his brow, and looks at the beautiful, lush vines growing on his plot. You can imagine his excitement to keep this precious earth that he has come to know and appreciate alive, but alas, the master of the vineyard has something else in store for him: a new plot of land, a new earth to learn, to cultivate, to revive.

Only to the laborers' dismay, this plot of land is scorched by wildfire, only few evidences of growth. This laborer — though tired, aching, and a little dismayed — starts the next day digging and cultivating, and though he's not sure what the master has in mind, knows that with the master's help, even the blackest of earth can be reclaimed and revived into a more lush and green garden that it was before.

To be honest, before I was able to fight the thoughts of doubt and inadequacy that Satan had put in my mind, and replace those with thoughts of hope and faith, I broke down. I cried through all my tours. It took all I had to pray to Heavenly Father to help me stop crying long enough to say my part of the tour. I hate that I am human.

Do you remember those times when I would be so upset because I hated how I Heavenly Father always "made me" do the hard things when it seemed everyone else got to have fun? I remember a handful of times when I would sit on your lap and cry. You would rock with me and remind me that "Newmans do hard things and Newmans do what Heavenly Father asks".

I hated when you said that.

I just wanted to yell, "Well then, I don't want to be a Newman!" But now I am grateful for it. I Know I am a Newman. I know I am a daughter of a King. And we do hard things.

I have the first letter that you wrote me when I got to the mission home. I keep it close when times are hard. I read this part the other night.

"Brittany, I know that oftentimes you have to dig down deep for the strength you need to do the things that you want to do, but just like a mine which has priceless treasures buried deep down, I am confident that you will be able to find those treasures within yourself and share them with other people"...

 I'm digging deep, Dad. Deeper than I ever have. I know you would be proud of me.

I didn't have you here when I was practically on the verge of despair. The Holy Ghost was yelling in my ear, "you need a blessing."

I called Elder Seegmiller, and just like I used to when I would call you up in college when things were hard, immediately I started crying when I heard his voice. He came over to the Battalion and gave me a blessing. I have a testimony of the power of the priesthood.  I could not do this without extra power from heaven. I would have given in. I would have given up.

I want to share one part of the blessing that stuck out to me. I was told that you pray for me every night. And that though you can’t be with me, your prayers reach the heavens and have acted as a fathers blessing to me. Dad, thank you. Thank you with all my heart. I am very aware that there is a power that is going against me. It is real. It is tangible at times. I know that yours and mom's prayers have saved my life.

I love you with all my heart. Happy Fathers Day.

Progression, transfers, and never going back

SAN DIEGO — W-O-W! We just waved goodbye to two sisters going home today. Sister Kennington is going home in six weeks. WHERE IS TIME GOING? Transfers are tomorrow and we are almost positive I will be transferred. Change is always good, but I will miss the branch, and of course Sister Kennington. I guess I will let you know what happens next week.

Here is an update on Cameron: He received the priesthood the same Sunday he was confirmed, he went to the temple that same Wednesday, and he passed the sacrament on Sunday! Can you say PREPARED? He is and always will be the miracle of my mission.

Camilla however, was not baptized on Saturday, because her dad would not allow it. She will be though, one day, she will be.

We had our last district meeting this week. Our district leader and one of our zone leaders (they were on exchanges) made us homemade stir-fry and this banana dessert thing. Then they had us go on a scavenger hunt, which ended in the chapel, and we had a testimony meeting. Elder Smith, our district leader is so funny, and is the best. Seriously, the most humble person I know. It was great.

Since Cameron has been baptized, we have not had a lot of investigators to teach, but we sure have had a lot of members we have been seeing. We have been committing them to make a mormon.org profile and share 5 mormon.org cards. Then we follow up with them and practice talking to people about the Gospel. Just a few days ago, we had a follow-up with a member and practiced how to talk about doing baptisms for the dead at work, because he sometimes goes straight from the temple to work and people ask him why he is so dressed up. It has been amazing to see the fire and excitement of the branch. For testimony meeting, that’s all people bore their testimonies on: experiences they had with missionary work. IT is the BEST EVER!!!!

We also had zone leader council yesterday, which was great. I want to share a thought that president shared with us from a talk Elder Holland gave in the MTC. This thought comes from John chapter 21. This is just after Jesus Christ has been crucified. Peter and the apostles didn’t know what to do, so they decided to go back to fishing:

verse 3 "Simon Peter saith unto them, I go a fishing. They say unto him, we also go with thee. They went forth and entered into a ship immediately, and that night they caught nothing."

So these men had been fishing night and day, and nothing came from their labors.

verse 4, 6 "But when the morning was now come, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples knew not that it was Jesus. And he said unto them, cast the net on the right side of the ship, and ye shall find. They cast therefore, and now they were not able to draw it for the multitude of fishes."

As they listened to the Lord, they prospered....

Immediately, John knew who it was- "It is the Lord" Peter, so excited to see Jesus, jumped off the boat and swam to shore. Jesus had made them breakfast, being sensitive to the fact that they were tired and hungry from a long night. While they were eating, Jesus asked Peter three times "Lovest thou me more than these?"

Peter answered, Yes! I love you! (You can imagine the great love Peter had for Jesus.) Jesus answered FEED MY SHEEP. He replied to Peter, when I asked you to be my apostle it was forever! When he asks us to be his teachers, his leaders, his mothers, his fathers, his disciples, IT IS FOREVER!

WE CANNOT GO BACK!

That hit me hard. I can never and will never go back to who I was. I, like Peter, will forever be a disciple of Jesus Christ.

After telling that story, Elder Holland said that it was that moment Peter became the great apostle. That’s when Peter strode into eternity.

It is when we learn the great lesson that Peter learned, it is only then we will be ready for eternity and become the great children he wants us to become.

Don’t forget that this is forever! You have His name as yours forever. You are called to lift, inspire, motivate. FOREVER. If any of us go back, we will break Heavenly Father's heart.

So go open your mouths! Don't go back to being fishermen!

Cameron's Baptism

SAN DIEGO— A LOT has happened this week! I guess some of you know that Cameron was baptized on Saturday. It was AMAZING. Let me share part of my journal about it with you (I barely had time to write down his story, so its not that great of an entry).

Sister Kennington and I at Cameron's baptism

May 26, 2012
I can't believe this day finally came. 

This was one of the most powerful baptisms I have been to so far on my mission. Jason, his friend in the Church, bore a powerful and simple testimony and then we had a musical number by Kelly.

She sang, "I Will", by Hilary Weeks which blasted the room with the Spirit. The song was about standing tall even if you are alone-something that Cameron has had to do ever since we started teaching him. 

We then watched Cameron and Brother Bryant (the one who referred him to us) walk into the baptismal font. Sister Kennington and I had our arms around each other as Cameron was baptized. It was amazing. I knew that if my spirit was as excited and thrilled as it was, the hosts of heaven must be singing for joy. I wanted to cry as I pictured Heavenly Father smiling down from heaven. What a proud Father He must have been at that moment. 

As Cameron was getting dressed, Sister Kennington and I shared a message. We played the Mormon Message, "The True and Living God" by Elder Holland.  Then we had three of our members (who we previously asked) to one by one get up and share their one-sentence testimony of Jesus Christ. 

"I know that my Savior lives." 

"I know Jesus forgives me of my sins."

"I know if we follow Jesus Christ we can return to live with God"

Just imagine the power of those simple, yet intense testimonies of Christ. Sister Kennington and I then got up: 

"I know Jesus is the Christ" 

"I know that Christ lived. He died. And He lives again." 

As we closed in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, we all sang the hymn, "I Believe in Christ".  At the close of the song, our Branch President invited Cameron to get up and share his testimony. He said that he had researched, studied and read the Book of Mormon and that he knows the Gospel and the Church are true. He explained that he felt like he had been through his own great apostasy, but now he was found. 

It was so touching to hear him testify. You can tell what a strong spirit he is. It was confirmed to me again, when he was receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost. His blessing said that he was one of Heavenly Father's favorite sons and that one day he would be sealed in the temple. It hit me so hard how much Heavenly Father wants each of us back. 

We all have our own “apostasies", whether it is lack of reading, praying, or studying the scriptures. Whether it breaking the commandments, not going to the temple, thinking bad things... whatever it may be, living the gospel of Jesus Christ is what brings us back and what keeps us on the right track.

I was reading the conference talk "In tune with the Music of Faith". Elder Cook's words stood out to me:

"Having faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and keeping his commandments are and always will be the defining test of mortality."

What we do defines us. This time on earth IS important. It is where we prove to God who we really are. If you are struggling, let me share with you some advice from President Kimball:

"I find that when I get casual in my relationships with divinity and when it seems that no divine ear is listening and no divine voice is speaking, that I am far, far away. If I immerse myself in the scriptures the distance narrows and the spirituality returns."

I think the question is not, "Does God hear me?", I think the question is "How far away am I from hearing His answer".

Speaking of answers to prayer, let me share with you a quick miracle Sister Kennington and I experienced this week before I end. 

A few weeks ago, Sister Kennington got the impression to ask the elders if they wanted us to meet with one of their investigators, Camilla. They are teaching the whole family, in fact missionaries have been teaching them for years. The elders accepted, as they were on their last resorts to figure out how to get this family to understand. Sister Kennington and I went over about a week ago, and got to know her. It was perfect. She is a 17-year-old girl, and you know how well it would have gone over if she tried to tell the elders about her prom dress and her frustrations about her 1-day-old manicure chipping. Needless to say, we clicked right away and were able to teach her the Restoration. 

The Spirit testified so strongly; I was almost expecting the Holy Ghost to start shouting at us. Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost were able to work miracles on her in those precious few minutes and her understanding was clear and her heart was opened. Just yesterday, we met with her again. It was funny because the elders were there with the parents doing service. We taught Camilla in the dining room. We retaught the Plan of Salvation and once again the Spirit was intense. In fact, my heart was pounding out of my chest, I could almost hear a voice yelling to invite her to be baptized. 

She said yes! She wants to be baptized this weekend before her and her family go to Brazil. Her dad called us today not very happy, he says its too fast and she is not ready for that. If there is one thing I have learned it is that, with God anything is possible. If he gave Moses the power to part the Red Sea, who am I to think he can't soften the heart of an old man? Definitely something Heavenly Father will do if it is according to His will. So please Keep Camilla and her family in your prayers.

Roller coasters and choices

SAN DIEGO — Since Cameron is going to be baptized this Saturday, he has been on my mind a lot. I wanted to share this week's experiences from my journal and share some thoughts about what happened.

May 18, 2012

Yesterday, Sister Burden and I were on exchanges. We taught Cameron about the priesthood right after he had his baptismal interview with Elder Smith. The Spirit testified with such a power that even I was taken aback. 

Later in the lesson, we asked Cameron what it meant to him that there is a prophet on the earth. He told us that after he watched the movie/biography of President Monson's life, "On the Lords Errand", he fell to his knees and asked God if President Monson was His prophet. He bore such a strong witness of the answer he received that tears came to my eyes. In that moment I realized that the angels were probably sitting in silence, hanging on every word as one of their fellow brothers bore truth of the prophet of God. We ended by watching a Mormon Message called, "Sanctify Yourselves" by Elder Holland. We all had tears in our eyes as we watched the power of the priesthood heal a little boy from being electrocuted in a rainstorm. Think of the power of that! There is no power to equal the priesthood in the whole world...

May 19, 2012

Cameron called and told us that he had finally talked to his parents and told them about his decision to be baptized. He was very sad, because his parents were not very happy. His parents mean the world to him, and for them to be upset and accuse him of making an irrational decision definitely stung deep. What he told us on the phone touched my heart. He said that he knew that at some point he would stand in front of Jesus Christ and it wouldn't matter that his parents were mad. It would matter if he chose to make and keep covenants with God. His simple yet firm testimony strengthened my testimony that I too know that my Redeemer lives!

May 21, 2012

.... On the way to Family Home Evening, we realized that were locked out of the church, so we called Brother Bryant and he let us use the restroom and even had leftover chicken pot pie for us on the table when we arrived (He is the one who referred Cameron)! He told us that last night Cameron came over and was very upset. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to get baptized because his family is so upset by it. 

They were able to talk, and Brother Bryant asked if he would be okay if those that wanted to in the branch could fast with him tomorrow. After FHE Brother Bryant explained that Cameron was having a hard time and those that wanted to could join in a fast for him tomorrow. Josh asked if we could say a prayer for him. About 20 Young Single Adults knelt in prayer in our branch president’s front room and the sweetest, most earnest prayer was offered for a man that many of them have only known for a few weeks, yet sincerely call him friend. The love, the charity, the unity and faith of this moment was tangible, it was breathtaking. This is what it means to be a disciple of Jesus Christ...

I wanted to share a few moments this week to help you get a glimpse of what missionary life can be like. Full of ups and downs, disappointments, miracles, frustrations, and happiness. I believe that this roller coaster ride Heavenly Father has developed is the curriculum to build our faith.

I have been studying about faith this week and have learned so much. It was very apparent to me this week noticing my feelings and the feelings of my companion as we experienced ups and downs. I wondered to myself, why am I letting my faith parallel these experiences? Why isn’t my faith at a constant incline? It is amazing to me what faith is. Faith is a principle of power. 

"If ye will have faith in me ye will do whatsoever thing is expedient in me" Moroni 7:33.

I have experienced something on my mission and that is the power of prayer and the power of faith. It is by prayer, by our words that we call down the powers of heaven and it is by our faith that we receive it. 

I love what the Bible Dictionary says Faith will give us: 

1. The knowledge that our lives are acceptable to God. 

2. Blessings 

3. An assurance of our salvation

In there it also explains obstacles to our faith: 

1. Hard heart and blind eyes. 

2. Looking for approval from others and not seeking the honor of God. 

3. Doubt.

As I have been pondering, My mind was swept away into a daydream: I see myself standing in heaven with the angels showing me what my life will be like. Before I can start my journey on earth, they ask me one question. "Brittany, what will you choose?" I see my self standing up from my chair, and looking at the angel who asked me the question. I reply- "I choose FAITH!"

What will you choose?

Revelation, Sacrifice, and Miracles

SAN DIEGO — It was so great to talk to you on Sunday! First things first:

Grandpa Morgan: Just in case I don't get a letter written, THANK YOU for painting that picture for me. I cried a whole bunch when you told me. It means the world to me. I can’t wait to see it!

Everyone else, thank you for the birthday wishes, the cards. It was a great day!

I feel like I should start off with a good laugh first. Do you remember me telling you about TIWI? It’s the company that monitors our driving: how fast we are going, how hard we stop and whatnot. We have a little box in our car that warns us when we do something wrong. For instance, "Speeding violation" or "Aggressive driving".

Sister Kennington was leaving a message with the counselor to our mission president and I was changing lanes, and missed in my blind spot a car that was coming, so I slammed on my brakes, but was in the middle of both lanes so I had to get over and the car in back of me was not going to let me. While Sister Kennington is leaving the message, she yells, "the car is still coming!" and then I yell back, "Well, that car is an idiot (yes, I should have kept my temper, I know) and then all of a sudden, the TIWI box talks in its computer voice, "Aggressive driving!" Sister Kennington then realizes that all of this was on the message to President Hunt. We look at each other, down at the phone and bust up laughing as she finishes the message, knowing full well that President Hunt heard the whole thing. OOOPS!

I shared this experience with a few of you, but since Dad, Sara and any others reading this did not hear, I thought I would share it with you again. Sister Kennington and I were having a pretty rough day the other day, and were pretty low when we went to the temple for our temple shift.

I noticed a member standing out front (he was dressed in a shirt and tie) and went up to talk to him. He kept asking me questions like, "How many sisters serve per shift, what are zones like, how do zone conferences work" etc. I asked how he knew so much about missionaries and he explained that he was just released as a mission president in Ohio. We were so excited to talk to him, and asked what advice he had for us.

It was so cool to see how much that question meant to him. He pondered for a minute and looked at us, and said, "Sisters, that is a great question. Let me ask you something: If you could pick one lesson that you have learned from your mission, what would it be?"

Sister Kennington explained that she has learned the "Why" of the Gospel —why we do what we do. I honestly have learned so many things so fast, it is hard to grasp everything. But one of the biggest lessons I have learned is the eternal perspective of missionary work. After we explained, he looked at us, pointed each hand at Sister Kennington and I and said, "Sisters, my advice to you is when this part of your mission is over, is to teach these lessons you have learned to your husband and your children."

It hit me that what I am learning is not for myself. It is for those around me. I know that each of you have lessons you are learning from Heavenly Father as well. Are you sharing those lessons with your children? Your friends? Your family?

I feel that before I leave, I need to share 2 more things that I have learned this week with you.

I want to talk to you about what I learned from Elder Zwick about what he calls the "cycle of spirituality"

In D&C 132:50 it says,

"Behold I have seen your sacrifices and will forgive all your sins... Thus sacrifice brings forth a remission of sins."

In Moroni 8:26,  Moroni explains, 

"And the remission of sins bringeth meekness, and lowliness of heart. And because of meekness and lowliness of heart cometh the visitation of the spirit."

In summary, if you want the Spirit, it requires a sacrifice on our part. King Lamoni's father was willing to give all he had to know God. What are you willing to give?

We had Zone Leader Council this week, and each of us went around and shared miracles in our areas. The scripture came to mind, "has the day of miracles ceased"? I add my testimony to Moroni that indeed they have not. Here is a testimony that miracles still happen every day.

One set of Elders walked up to the church and there was a note on the door that this woman wanted to learn more about the Church and to give please call her and teach her more.

Another set of Elders were teaching a man from Peru. As they were in one of the first lessons, he told the Elders to hold on, he called his family in Peru, and asked if they wanted to hear more. They enthusiastically said yes, and the Elders arranged for other missionaries in Peru to teach them.

Other missionaries were outside church talking to a woman and saw a man walk by. They felt the urge to talk to him. He explained that he always wanted to go in, but every time he knocked on the door, no one was there.

A friend gave a man at the marine base a Book of Mormon a long time ago. When he got to base, the only church he knew was "Mormons" he went to church, started reading and wanted to be baptized. That same friend is serving a mission just above us and was given permission to baptize him.

Have miracles ceased? I think NOT! Look for them where you are, if ye seek, ye shall find.

Imperfection, Action, and the Great and Spacious Building

SAN DIEGO – Heavenly Father has really decided to push and pull me around a little bit —and it is definitely working. I want to share with you some things today, some lessons I have learned: some experiences that have humbled me, and some moments that have strengthened my faith. It's a lot, so please bear with me.

Before I start, I want to tell you what I used to think of when I heard the word "missionary". I thought of a guy dressed in black pants, a white shirt, name tag on shirt, scriptures in hand ready to conquer the world. I thought they could do no wrong, they knew every answer, they never had a hard time, they never messed up. You can see that my understanding of what it means to be a missionary was very skewed.

I want to open up my life as a missionary and let you see that though I do have a black name tag on my shirt, I am imperfect: I mess up, and life is HARD for me many times. I cried myself to sleep last night; this week has been so hard. I am not telling you this to get your pity or sympathy. I am sharing this because I want you to know that I am just like you. And just like you, there are lessons that I need to learn to be a better daughter of God.

I hope that as I write by the Spirit and you read by the Spirit, that my experiences this week can help you learn something that God needs you to learn to reach your full potential as well.

First, let me share with you some lessons I learned:

Elder Zwick, if you remember, toured our mission a few months ago. This past month, he was touring Samoa, Tahiti, and other islands in the South Pacific. On his way back, he stopped once again in San Diego and wanted to take his family through the tour with some other close friends. He asked if he could have a fireside with the sisters at the Battalion. I want to share with you a story. I only have time for one, but maybe next week.

This story actually comes from Sister Zwick. She told us a story about her son Scotty, who is in his thirties and has some mental disabilities and thus lives in a group home in Orem while they travel around the world.

The temple President in Portland are the Zwick's good family friends. The president shared an email with Sister Zwick that his son had emailed to him. His son had been having a really hard time with his family and other things. He was really feeling low. But he was really excited for General Conference that was coming up, and he was praying and praying and praying that something one of the General Authorities would say would answer the questions of his soul.

Session after session ended and by the time the closing prayer was ended, he felt dejected and that God had not heard his pleas. Just at that moment his cell phone rang and the caller ID said, "Scott Zwick". Brandon wasn’t going to answer it, because phone calls with Scotty are often full of questions and last a really long time, and quite frankly, Brandon felt that he wasn’t in the mood, but something made him answer the phone. He heard Scotty's voice on the phone and he said, "Brandon, I just wanted to call you and tell you that Jesus loves you and I love you too." Brandon explained, that at that moment, he knew that God had heard him and did know who he was.

And all that he needed to know was that he was loved, by a Father in Heaven and by His Son, Jesus Christ.

Do you see what I mean when I tell you that what you do makes a difference! Listen to the Spirit when he urges you to do something. If you don’t act, God will use someone else to do his will, and what a shame it would be to not be trusted by God enough to follow out His will.

Second, Let me share with you an experience that humbled me. I think I will write this out of my journal because I really don’t want to retell it- I hate messing up!

May 3, 2012

"Today was really hard. We had our weekly training meeting where we train the sisters at the Battalion. Sister Kennington and I did the training and then separated to practice with the sisters. When we came back, my group was a little late, so they were already talking. I asked if my group could hear what was said. We went on with training, but I could tell something was hurting my companion. I looked at her and my heart sank. 

I knew that I had acted out of harmony with Jesus Christ, for I had caused her hurt. We talked and I came to the realization that I had made her feel that I didn’t trust her to wait for all of us to get back into the room and I didn’t work with her in unity. I have been trying so hard to be better at allowing others to lead, but I think the harder and harder I try, the more and more I seem to mess up. 

It is really hard for me to allow others to lead. It's a weakness I know I need to get over to become a true disciple of Christ. It may seem like a little thing that happened today, but I realize that if my companion felt badly about it, then it matters a lot. She is so gracious and so patient with me, something I admire in her a lot. I think this experience opened my eyes to how much Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ care. This little things that we do matter. The little ways we mess up, and then become better are a big deal. We don’t live life by the year; we live it by the hour, by the minute, by the second. It is day by day that we become who we are meant to become....."

Finally, I have one more experience I want to share, a moment that has strengthened my faith. Cinco de Mayo in Old Town is CRAZY. I mean ridiculous. Sister Kennington and I were at the temple in the morning and then on shift at the Battalion at night. A drive from the temple that usually takes about 10-15 minutes took us just over an hour.

We were driving bumper to bumper trying to get to our apartment, which gave us plenty of time to watch what was going on around us. It hurt my heart to watch how past feeling all of these people were. Alcohol, tobacco, loud, offensive music, inappropriate dancing and actions, immodesty (bad, I mean real bad). It was like a movie, driving through a sea of people who weren’t real, they were literally like zombies.

Later, Elder Seegmiller shared with us his experience with being down in the middle of it at the booth. He told the sisters there to watch him. He walked into the middle of the swarm of people making their way to who knows where and he would wave right in front of their face. None of them acknowledged him. None of them knew he was there. He related it to the great and spacious building. My heart started pounding as I heard that. The Spirit was teaching me that this experience was exactly that. My faith was strengthened by seeing how real Satan is, and how real the Savior and His Atonement are.

I am out of time, but I hope these lessons I learned have strengthened and helped you. In summary, help others, be humble, and go forward with faith.

Inactivity, service, staying put

SAN DIEGO — YAAAAAAAAAAAY I am so excited for Dad and Sara to be having their adventure! I love the stories:)

I actually went to school with Aubin Lewis, then she left for a few semesters. I can't remember if it was for a mission or something. Great stories. I'm glad you're having fun. 

The only thing I want you to do for me, Sara, is give Leena a great big hug and tell her how much I love her. She is one of my heroes. Seriously. She has changed my life a lot. Talk with her every chance you get and write it down so you can tell me about it:) I would love to hear her conversion story again. I forgot it! 

Guess what? The former mission president in Finland that just got released came to the Battalion yesterday. It was great to talk with him. He knows Leena of course. It made me miss pulla and piirakka. MMMMMMMMM.

You are not going to believe this, but Sister Kennington and I stayed together, stayed training sisters, and stayed in Black Mountain!!!! I am very humbled, very grateful, and so excited for this chance. I love Sister Kennington so much. She's my best friend! We have gone through more together than I ever thought was possible as a missionary. The amazing thing is we have learned how to love each other, despite all of the weaknesses we have. It is a hard thing to live with someone 24/7. I am grateful that I get to live with a patient, kind, and loving companion. I couldn't go through this refining process without someone like her. My furnace has been HOT, and is only heating up. But I am grateful for the opportunity to be changed.

It was such a sweet experience Sunday, not only because I was still in the area I love with all my heart, but because I walked in and Kyle, the less active we have been working with since November — the one who is stubborn and hard on the outside, but really a softie on the inside — showed up in a white shirt and the tie we bought him. He got up and said the closing prayer as well. No one in this world can tell me that people can't change. That is a total LIE!

I was taught another lesson from Elder Seegmiller about why so many people stay less active. It is because they feel they have to fix their mistakes BEFORE they can go back to church, when it is church that is the place to help them become better. So what if someone has a problem with the Word of Wisdom. So what if a person has a problem with the Law of Chastity or keeping the Sabbath day holy. I hope and pray that you or I would not make any of them feel that they could not enter a place for healing the wounded soul. In fact, it is our duty to find them and to help them understand that they NEED to come back, that they are loved. Keeping the laws is the least of their problems.

It is coming back to change, to align themselves with God, to repent that is what keeps people from returning to God. So please, please, please don't be the cause of one of God's precious children shying away from the only place that will give them peace and hope. Its not just in our actions that keep them away, but in our LACK of action that does it as well.

Last thing I wanted to tell you about was Mormon Helping Hands day. Do you do that in Utah? I forget. Our branch was in charge of painting the community center in Mira Mesa. It was an amazing sight, painting the center. Our branch was on the roof, a bunch of 18-30 year-olds that could have been doing anything else on a Saturday afternoon. I took a moment to look around at them, and to walk to the edge of the roof and look down at the crowds of other members painting beneath me, laughing, painting, serving the community and serving God. People walked past with wonder in their eyes. I am sure thinking to themselves, "who on earth are these people? are they crazy?" Many of them, probably not even realizing that we are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints —followers of the Savior of the world.

I guess this scene hit me harder today, as an investigator's father claimed that our Church only thinks  about itself and no one else. If only he could have seen the selfless service of these people on this day. My soul was touched deeply with the pureness, the charity of it all. It was a great experience.

I guess the whole reason for my email today is that there is more happiness to be found than what you have right now.

I know that at times, you may read this and think, "Oh, she's just a missionary. She doesn’t remember what living in the world is like. She's just weird and all she wants to talk about is the Gospel." 

Some of you may even have a hard time remembering that I did live where you live, I am real! I experienced much of what you are experiencing now! Being a full-time missionary and a member of God's church is not as far separated as regular members of the church put us.

I challenge you to find the happiness that God has for you. Many of you may have to change where you are looking for it, but I promise it is there.

"Why are you still here?" and apartment scares

SAN DIEGO — I'm glad you are all doing well. I bet Dad and Sara are getting excited to go to Finland. Relax, and enjoy- No stressing out, okay?! :)

Honestly, today has been a rough day. I am so tired. I still haven't caught up on sleep from getting up at 4 to take Sister Haggerty to the airport. We had exchanges a few days ago, we stayed up until 12:30 talking about things. Definite lack of sleep going on.

Transfers are tomorrow, which I am bittersweet about. Of course, I am going to miss Sister Kennington. She is my best friend. We have been through the best and worst together, that is for sure. I think we are both very worn out of being trainer sisters, but of course are willing to do whatever Heavenly Father asks next of us. Stay tuned next week to see where I end up!

I think this week I will share some excerpts from my journal. This first one is an adventure from last Tuesday night.

April 17, 2012

....We drove up to our apartment on tonight and the lights were on. We thought about it for a minute, and realized that both of us double and triple checked the lights and they were off before we left. Sister Kennington was SO scared. She has a HUGE imagination to say the least.

Elder Seegmiller was at the Battalion, so we asked him to walk over with us to check things out. The dead bolt was locked: something we NEVER lock, which didn't make things better with Sister Kennington. I could almost see the images of robbers and burglars racing across her mind. Elder Seegmiller checked it out, and all was well, but that didn't calm any minds. 

Sister Kennington was still so scared, she made me check every nook and cranny in the house. Imagine the times when Sara and I were in the basement and we saw a spider and Sara would freak out and make me go kill the spider even though I hate spiders myself. Just imagine me tiptoeing towards the spider, tissue in hand, slightly shaky because Sara would be so scared it would start rubbing off on me. If you picture that in mind, you can picture exactly what happened with Sister Kennington and I. She's a great cheerleader, but she stood at the doorway, ready to book it as I looked throughout the house for our supposed intruder. Needless to say, Sister Kennington wouldn't have gotten an ounce of sleep, so we got to have a sleepover at the Seegmillers. A first and last, I am sure.....

Brittany had to arm wrestle Elder Seegmiller after the apartment scare.

We also had interviews with President this week, I thought I would share some thoughts from my journal from that.

April 18, 2012

I love interviews! President always picks a question to ask all the missionaries. He told me that he usually asks new missionaries why they came on a mission, he wanted to know why I stayed on a mission.

I've thought a lot about this and I think there are a lot of reasons why I am still here.

First, I know that I promised Heavenly Father in heaven that I would serve a mission. Second, I know that these precious moments are the ones I get to prove to God who I am. Third, I feel honored and privileged to be helping Heavenly Father build up His Kingdom, and I don't want to waste a second of this privilege.

I don’t remember everything we talked about but two things stuck out to me. We talked about where true happiness comes from. It doesn't come from getting recognition or approval from peers. True happiness comes from getting approval from God. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father has taught me that lesson long ago. It is a sweet experience knowing that God has accepted all you can do.

I don't have time for any more, but I wanted to give you an update on how Cameron is doing. We taught him the Word of Wisdom the other day, and after we asked if he had any concerns about it and he said no, Sister Kennington asked, "Cameron, are you living the word of wisdom already?"

He looked her straight in the eye with a grin on his face and said yes! That is something I am beginning to understand as a missionary. There are those out there in the world that really want this. It is not about pulling teeth or lassoing someone into the Gospel, it is about welcoming them with open arms, and reminding them of what they already know.

Love you all. You are all in my prayers. Hope you are happy. If you're not, something's gotta change and no one can do the changing but you!:)

The henna tattoo and the Atonement

SAN DIEGO — This is the last week before transfers. I have spent nine months in the Black Mountain Young Single Adult branch. It has been an amazing experience, and I have seen a lot of miracles.

Next Wednesday will be transfers. I feel like I will probably be transferred and I think Sister Kennington and I will also not be the training sisters, either. There are so many wonderful sisters here, I am so excited to see who I get to serve under.

I guess I will get the sad news over first. Sister Kennington and I were up at four this morning to drive to the airport with the Seegmillers and Sisters Burden and Haggerty. Sister Haggerty's headaches came back and is not able to stay. It has been really sad, but we all know Heavenly Father has other plans for her. Elder Seegmiller took us to breakfast, it is always an amazing experience to spend time with him.


Let me tell you something about Elder Seegmiller. He always tells us, "You always have to ask when people refer to the Bretheren, is it a bretheren with a little b or Bretheren with a Big B?" Sister Kennington and I were talking about him the other night, Elder Seegmiller used to work as a go-between with mission presidents and the Twelve Apostles. Just being in his presence, you know you are learning from a man inspired of God.

Sister Kennington and I were laughing last night because we decided Elder Seegmiller is a "bretheren with bold, italicized and underlined" Definitely not a little b and not a big B, either. Heavenly Father has blessed me a lot to learn from him. I write down his words of advice often, I'll share a couple with you right now:

"If you know he won't get invited to the meeting at Adam-Ondi-Ahman, don't say "yes!"

"When talking to the Lord, never ask why, ask what!"

"Girls should go on missions, and the guys should wait. Just tell the guy, a year and a half is a perfect amount of time to save up money, go to school and prepare everything so that when you walk off the plane, you and he can have your first date at the temple!"

Anyway, he taught me a great object lesson about my henna tattoo the other day. We were talking about the Atonement and how I was trying to take the burdens of all the sisters upon myself. He said I should never cry to watch someone be given the opportunity to use the Atonement, but it is when they choose not to that the tears should freely flow.


He looked down at my hand, the henna much faded by now, and told me that my tattoo was an example of the Atonement. I had messed up, I didn't realize what I was doing and the consequence of my mess up was a bright reminder of what I had done. Every time I would give a tour, I would shake a hand, I had to deal with questions and looks of concern or questioning. Just looking at it myself I felt like an idiot every time.

With a lot of work, and with ENDURANCE, the henna has slowly started to fade. With time, I will have a completely new hand. The skin cells will renew and not a single mark of my mistake will be left.

That is the Atonement.

Oh how I wish I could have it scrubbed off that night. Then I wouldn't have had to account to president. Then I wouldn't have had to explain to my peers. But that is not how it it meant to be. I have never been more grateful for the slow and steady process of the henna fading. It has taught me a lesson: just like my hand, with endurance, hard work, and patience, I can use the Atonement in my life to become a completely new person.


As I was thinking about tattoos, my mind has completely 180'd to a really funny story that happened this week that I think you will appreciate. Since Sister Haggerty has been sick, we have been going on exchanges with her companion, Sister Burden, to cover her area as well as ours. We went to stop by a man named Dave in the ghetto of El Cajon. Just to give you an idea, he is a big African-American man that would scare the pants right off of you if you didn't know that inside he was a big teddy bear.

We met him in the parking lot of his apartment complex, and honestly he was being a little rude, washing and waxing his car and not really listening to us, even though he set an appointment. He made his nephew come listen, which was really great, but I was getting frustrated with the situation as we had promised both Dave and Heavenly Father that we would teach him the Restoration.

Well those of you that know my spunky great-grandma Dinah, I have inherited a diluted portion of that spunk (gumption?). I left the conversation with Sisters Kennington and Burden with Dave's nephew, and marched right up to Dave's car, took the wax and the rag from him and told him I would shine his rims, and he would walk over to the sisters and listen to something that would make him really happy.

(Now to give you a little perspective, we were all in pencil skirts because we had to go to our ward that night and be flight attendants for a FHE activity).

So here I am in a pencil skirt shining a guy's rims, all the while, more of his friends are coming up to watch and laugh at why on earth a little white girl is shining Dave's car. I wasn't paying attention very well. All i could think to do was pray with all my might that he would listen. But looking back on that, I can imagine how funny that must have been.

Oh, the crazy things we do as missionaries! It is so great!!!!


Before I go, a quick update on Cameron. He is doing so well. He hopefully will move his baptism date up to the end of April. He went to church again and we are meeting with him to teach him the Gospel at the temple tonight. Keep him in your prayers!


The work is moving forward on my end, I hope it is on yours.

The power of a prompting (and a henna tattoo)

SAN DIEGO — Hope you are doing well. It was so good to hear from all of you!

Hannah: Thank you for the letter. I am so sorry to hear the hard things with your family, but so happy about school. Those pictures were adorable!

Juli: Thank you for your letters, pictures and journals- I can't believe how much those two are growing up! I miss them soooooooo much!

Aunt Kathy: (please tell her this if she doesn't get to read the email) I got your letter and it made my day. Thank you for thinking of me! Love you so much!

Mom: Hope you are enjoying being off track:) Thanks for the updates on everyone. And THANK YOU FOR THE PACKAGE!

I was thinking back when I used to be on the other end of these missionary emails and I'm not sure if I answer all the questions you have. I think I am just so used to being a missionary, I forget what you may want to know about. Will you let me know any of those things? I'll answer, promise. I just don't know what is interesting for you to know.

As for today, I think we all should start out with a good laugh don't you? Well, I actually have two for you:

Yesterday, we stopped by an Indian couple's home that we had helped move in a few months prior. They got so excited to show us about their culture, they gave us Indian candy, showed us their Indian shrine, their wedding pictures, and then they sat us down on the floor and started painting on sister Kennington's hand with this gooey brown stuff. As she started on my hand, her husband pulled up online what it was she was painting with... We got a Henna tattoo! Ooops! We tried to get it off since we had a sisters meeting at President's home the next day. Even soaking it in bleach for an hour didn't help! Windex and fingernail polish remover didn't work, either.

Another funny was a few nights ago, we were talking to a Russian visitor for a few minutes. We continued on talking with another family, and when we turned around to walk inside the temple, there was a dead BIG FAT RAT in the middle of the walkway. (A crow had dropped its dinner- yuck!) We had to guard it until security came to take it away. They took a while and Sister Kennington got bored, so she started singing a Broadway musical about this rat who could end up in the Celestial Kingdom- it was pretty hilarious.

My next story is the soap opera and miracle all rolled into one.

Last Tuesday after I emailed you, Brother Bryant called us and told us he had a referral for us. His name is Cameron and he is the ex-boyfriend of Brother Bryant's daughter, Chrissy. We set up a time and met with him a few days later. We had dinner at the Bryant's home and taught him about God, Prayer and the Holy Ghost. The next day, Brother Bryant's daughter called us and asked if she could be taught the lessons, as she has been inactive for 10 years. We set up a time to meet with her the next day.

When we walked up to Brother Bryant's home, we met his other inactive son, Josh, who is super friendly. As we taught her, the first thing that she said, with tears rolling down her eyes, was, "I want the Spirit back in my life". We were able to teach her and committed her to read from the Book of Mormon. The next day we were back at the Bryant's, this time for Cameron. Things got a little sticky when Chrissy got home earlier than thought and we had dinner with both Cameron and his ex girlfriend, Chrissy, at Chrissy's house. Heavenly Father helped everything work out.

After dinner, we had one of the most life-changing lessons I have had on my mission. We sat down (Josh, Brother Bryant's less active son was with us also) and taught Cameron about the Restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Everything we have been learning from the General Authorities that have trained us came together, the Spirit was there, and as the scriptures say, when we teach by the Spirit, "both are uplifted and edified together."

We committed him to be baptized, which he agreed, with the biggest grin on his face. His grin got even wider as Sister Kennington promised him blessings of greater happiness than he could imagine. He responded to her comment, saying "I can already tell." As we were leaving the house Sister Bryant got a text from Chrissy, she gasped and with tears filling her eyes told us that Chrissy just put in her two weeks notice at the bar. What you could call the cherry on top, was when on Sunday, Chrissy who has not been to Church in ten years and Cameron who has only been one time prior in his whole life, walked into sacrament meeting.

God is real. His power is real. There is nothing in the world that could have done this for Chrissy and Cameron, save it came from God.

Brother Bryant listened to a simple prompting to call Cameron. Through that act of faith, and that seemingly small action, there have been many lives changed.

I often ask myself how many of those opportunities I have decided to not listen to. How many promptings have I let slip by? God has a work to do. We can be a part of it, or we can be a bystander. It is up to us to listen and to take action.

Personally, I want a chance to participate in any part of the work of God He will trust me to do. I promise from personal experience that when we listen to those promptings, we earn the trust of a loving Heavenly Father, who will continue to call on us to run His errands.

I invite you to join in the work. To be there for Heavenly Father. Become a dependable and trustworthy servant of the Lord.

There is true joy and satisfaction, one that I didn't even realize by being trusted by God.

Apostolic insights and lessons in leading

SAN DIEGO — I sure hope you are doing well. I pray for you all the time, I hope you know that. For some reason, It has sure hit me harder than usual how much I love and miss you! It sounds like you had a great General Conference. I hope your Easter is great too!

This week has been a crazy one! We were super busy with General Conference and we also had MTE (missionary training event) this week as well. I feel like I have been soaked with doctrine, now I just have to keep it all in!

As part of MTE, they always have either a health training or safety training, and this time it was a car safety training on what is called "TIWI". The Church is launching a new program to keep the missionaries better obeying traffic laws, so we now have GPS tracking devices in all the cars and we have to log in to them every day. If we speed, stop or start too fast, or anything like that it gives us a mark on our record and the GPS talks to us and tells us to stop. We have to keep in the "green zone" in order to be able to have driving privileges. Crazy huh?

It sounds like everyone loved Conference. I did as well. Some of it got interrupted having to take a tour, so I will have to watch it again later or wait for it to come out in the Ensign. Do you remember Elder Perry's talk? About Scott giving him a new tie each conference and about how bold he was in talking about the Book of Mormon? Scottie is Elder Zwick's son. The one who said one of the prayers in conference and who came to our mission to inspect it the other month. The one who we had an interview with.

I don't remember if I told you about Scottie, Elder Zwick's son, so I want to share a story that he and Sister Zwick told us about him and why he was on the plane that day, talking to the man about the Book of Mormon. Because Scott has a mental disability, he was unable to serve a mission. But when his little brother decided to serve, he promised Scottie that he would serve his mission for the both of them. So every week Scott would get word of what his brother was doing in their mission together.

At one point during that time, I think it was something like Elder Zwick had to do on another mission tour close to where his son was serving, and he asked the mission president of his son if they could visit or something. The mission president replied, "You can only come on one condition. If you bring Scottie. The whole mission has heard everything about Scottie from your son, and I want him to come serve with his brother for a week." 

Scott, in Elder Perry's talk, was already being a missionary on that plane, and continued to serve side by side with his brother as a full time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for that week. I just love that story so much! I'm not sure I got it exactly right, but super close.

About what else is going on: we are still working with our investigators, and they are slowly but surely moving forward.

I also wanted to leave you with something that has been on my mind lately. As this transfer draws closer to an end, I will most likely be transferred, and it will most likely be time for someone else to take the role of being the sister trainer at the Battalion. I have been looking back and asking myself what I could have done differently. I want to share a learning experience I had this week, as being a "coach" during MTE for some of the sisters.

-------

March 29, 2012

Today, I coached two of the sisters. It was a very good learning experience for me. As a coach, I sit on the sidelines as the sisters teach and afterward, guide them to focus on what we learned at MTE to incorporate it into their teaching. We had lessons that went pretty well.

The sisters are amazing at asking everyone for referrals. We had a dinner appointment with Wilbur and Edna, Wilbur is a non-member married to an active member, but he goes to Church with her every Sunday. Long story short: it was a pretty rough lesson, of which I shouldn't have talked, but I did- first lesson learned once again about being a leader: LET PEOPLE LEAD!

We had a tense few minutes in the car on the way to our next appointment. One of the sisters was crying along the way, and I started feeling a sense of despair and not knowing how to help the situation. To make matters worse, because we left Wilbur's late, we missed the next investigator for our next appointment, so tension was really high. Second lesson learned tonight: don't try to fix the problem when the environment is not right for the Spirit to be present!

I decided we needed to pray. I asked if I could say a prayer. I desperately begged Heavenly Father to send the Holy Ghost to guide us and help us know where we needed to be. It was so great to feel the Spirit once again with us, and I felt instantly that whatever happened next would be okay. We went to one of the backups they had, which happened to be a 14-year-old girl (whose parents they were trying to contact). As I sat on the sidelines and watched the sisters teach this girl about the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I was hit harder than I ever had that this little girl was God's daughter. I walked away from the lesson, with a sure knowledge in my heart that God does know and He does care. 3rd lesson learned: I cannot lead without the Holy Ghost as a constant companion.

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I share this with you because each of us are leaders. Each of us are most definitely inadequate. If you think you are up to par, think again. God needs us to lead, and we must lead according to God's will, not our own. What you do makes a difference: how you interact, what you say, how you teach.

The missionary handbook teaches that we must minister to those around us. There is a difference between administering and ministering. To minister is to encourage, lift, inspire and bless. Administering is accomplishing the tasks to get something done. What kind of leader are you in your homes? at school? at work?

I feel like leaving you with an invitation from our Savior Jesus Christ: "What manner of men ought ye to be? Even as I am."