See Him as He May Become

SAN DIEGO — The first week of the transfer has been great. I still am in Helix Singles Ward. That makes 11 out of 13 transfers in a Young Single Adult ward! So much fun. So much DRAMA! 

Our new companion is Sister Crawford. She is from Wyoming and has actually been out about five months. She is a sweetheart. It is definitely a new challenge being in a threesome companionship, but I love it.

I know a lot of you have and are having challenges right now. I don’t know why all these things happen, but I know it will all work out. I love you all, and I am so excited to be there seeing you become who Heavenly Father wants you to become. That is something that has been on my mind this week, to see others as they may become.

When I first left for my mission, President Homer blessed me that I would be able to see others as they really are and not be afraid of who they appear to be. I thought that was interesting as I started my mission, now I can see what Heavenly Father meant.

Yesterday, we got a text message that said, "What do you believe about gays?" I explained that marriage between a man and woman is ordained of God. We had quite a long chat over text, and it appeared that he was just trying to argue with us. We explained that all of us are children of God, and that the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored to the earth so all mankind can find peace and happiness in this life and live with God in the next. 

Surprisingly to me, James, the texter, agreed to meet.

All that night, I kept thinking about the conference talk by President Monson, "See them as they may become".



President Monson tells a story: during a mission conference, N. Eldon Tanner Interviewed a missionary asking how he had so much success. The Elder replied that he "attempted to baptize every person whom he met. He said that if he knocked on the door and saw a man smoking a cigar and dressed in old clothes and seemingly uninterested in anything — particularly religion — the missionary would picture in his own mind what that man would look like under a different set of circumstances. In his mind, he would look at him as clean-shaven and wearing a white shirt and trousers. And the missionary could see himself leading that man into the waters of baptism. He said, "When I look at someone that way, I have the capacity to bear my testimony to him in a way that can touch his heart"

As our lesson came yesterday, I kept thinking about that. See him as he may become, see him as he may become, SEE him as he may BECOME! We sat down, and I could feel the Holy Ghost calming my heart. We gave him a church tour, and as we were in the chapel, I asked him how he felt. He explained that some missionaries had talked to him and told him to read a part in the Book of Mormon last night and as he did, he felt good, just as he did right then. We continued our lesson bearing testimony of the Holy Ghost and invited him to be baptized, which he accepted. This man can become a priesthood holder in the kingdom of God!

I am so grateful for this lesson I learned. Church is not a museum for saints; it is a hospital for sinners. The Gospel is to heal EVERYONE. President Monson said, "We have the responsibility to see individuals not as they are, but rather as they can become".

I am so grateful for who each of you are:

Mom: You are an amazing example of selfless service. I have lived all my life watching you help and serve and work hard for all of us around you.

Dad: You are organized and motivated. You have taught me the importance of not being asked to do, but to take the initiative to do yourself.

Most importantly, you both are wonderful parents of 2 sons and 2 daughters of a Heavenly King!

Nick: You have a tender heart, and a passion for people. You have taught me what it means to truly love, and be interested in others and make sure they know it. You are an amazing father, brother, husband and friend.

Juli: You are a nurturer. You teach and bless all of us. Your kiddos, your family. You are an amazing teacher in the Kingdom of God.

You both have inspired me and taught me how to raise my children with a love of the gospel. Thank you!

Chris: You are the most diligent person I know. You work hard to achieve your goals, provide for your family, and accomplish your dreams. Because of you, I know I can do hard things!

Hannah: You find joy in the journey. You know how to laugh and help others find joy in the journey too. You are inspiring to both of your families and will continue to bless your future family too.

Sara: You are an example of courage. Not because you are never scared, but because you face all of your trials with faith, and boldness, and dedication. I have never met a braver soul. You inspire me to keep moving forward no matter what. You are my sister, and my friend. You have changed my life forever!

That is only a glimpse of what I see in all of you, and that is not even who Heavenly Father knows you can become! Don’t be content with where you are now. You are meant to be heirs to the Kingdom of Heaven. This life is preparation for eternity.

I want you to know something: how you view each other and how you view the world, is as it will become. If you find the faults, that is all you will see. Let's not look at each other or the world with all our faults. We are meant for more. 

We will one day be in our eternal home, Dad, Mom, Nick, Juli, Chris, Hannah, Sara — You are special and I cant wait to have you for eternity.

I have made a promise to myself that I will NEVER be the reason why someone else can’t change. We all have the potential to become. Let’s help each other see it in ourselves.

I never answered the phone

SAN DIEGO — Can you believe I am on my last transfer? I am so thankful Heavenly Father let me have 13 instead of 12. 

Transfers work like this: Tuesday morning, our zone leaders call and the zone leaders tell you if you are leaving and or if you are training. It’s really funny at the Battalion, because we are all at the laundromat Tuesday morning. So here I am folding my clothes, and all these sisters start getting calls. Everyone is freaking out because they get to stay together or whatnot. Well, Sister Jarrett and I start getting more and more nervous because almost all of the English-speaking sisters were called and only one was training...

We got our call and I am finishing training Sister Jarrett on her last 6 weeks and we are going to be in a trio training one of the new sisters! WHEW!

Heavenly Father knows is really pushing me to the finish line! Please pray for our area, we really need to find some more people! I don’t know who the new sister is, but one is from Africa and one from Samoa, so either way SO FUN!

Missionary work has been on my mind a lot lately. Specifically, member missionary work. President keeps reminding us that because of all the new missionaries. We have got to make sure the members help us, or there will not be enough work to do. Our bishop asked us to speak last Sunday on missionary work as well, so I feel like it is the lesson I have been learning this week that I want to share with you.

I remember when I was in Young Womens and there was a signup sheet to go out with the missionaries that was passed around if we could drive the sisters to their appointments. I had no problem with driving, in fact I really wanted to help, but I was so scared to be in a lesson — a real, live lesson with missionaries and non-members! I felt bad because the signup sheet went around, and no one signed it.

I kind of felt obligated to, so I did. The sister missionaries called me the next day, but I was too scared to answer the phone. For the next few weeks or so, they kept calling, and still, I was too scared. I’m sad to say I NEVER ANSWERED THE PHONE!

I didn’t understand my purpose as a member in God's kingdom. We are to invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the Restored Gospel. It doesn’t have to be that hard. We have to "stand as witnesses at all times and in all things and in all places."

I’m reminded of a story about Elder (Neal A.) Maxwell. He was assigned to visit a mission in Brazil. Prior to leaving, he found out he had leukemia. He begged the First Presidency to let him go before he started chemotherapy. He arrived in the mission, and the president and his wife kept him busy, speaking and visiting people there (They had no idea that Elder Maxwell was so sick). 

As the time came to a close, Elder Maxwell was told of a little boy, Jared Ammon, who was sick in a hospital with leukemia and desired a blessing. Elder Maxwell went to visit the boy and gave him the requested blessing. He asked the little boy, who was alone with only his sister, what else he could do for him. "Would you sing me, 'I am a child of God?'" Jared replied. Elder Maxwell cradled the little boy and sang him that beautiful song.

Elder Maxwell lived his life as a disciple of Christ. Sometimes we think we have to be an Apostle or a General Authority to be a witness of Christ. That is just not true. You may not know everything, but you know enough!

The Widow of Zarephath had little, but gave it all

Think of Elijah in the Old Testament: wandering through the city of Zarephath, he sees a woman, and asks her for some water. She kindly turns to go get him a drink.

And then Elijah asks, and could I have some bread too?

This time, the poor woman looks back in distress. 

"But sir, I only have a handful of meal and a cruse of oil, I was preparing the last meal for me and my son before we die."

Elijah replies to this woman of faith: "Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, The barrel of meal shall not waste, neither shall the cruse of oil fail, until the day that the Lord sendeth rain upon the earth. Bring what you have to the Lord and He will magnify it.” (1 Kings 17: 8-16)

That’s what I have been trying to do this week. I don't have a lot to give, but as I have given my all, Heavenly Father has magnified it.

Yesterday, I took a tour with a man and his daughter, Bryce (she was named after Bryce Canyon, fun fact). Anyway, they are non-members from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida (also fun fact as I got to tell them my brother served a Mormon mission there). I was so exhausted, having taken a few tours before and not eaten dinner yet, but I knew this tour was important. They didn't even want to go on it, but I talked them into going on the first two rooms.  I did the best I could, and to my surprise in the outfitting room, they asked about the Restoration of the Gospel, which I was able to testify of.

The dad just kept saying, "that makes sense, because all the people came up with their own ideas, I see why we have so many churches!" Then, they kept asking and asking about the story, so I asked if they wanted to just finish the tour, which they did. In the courthouse, he asked about Joseph Smith, which I was able to tell him what Joseph Smith saw. 

There is a special spirit, and you can feel it when God's children come into the Battalion prepared. This family was one of them. And though I had little to give, I gave it, and Heavenly Father magnified it.

I love how Lehi describes the fruit of the tree in his vision: "I beheld that it was most sweet, above all that I ever before tasted." 

THAT is what the Gospel sounds like to me! 

When I had my birthday earlier this year, one of our members in Black Mountain, Paul, brought in this golden box and set it on the table in front of me. I looked at it with curiosity and he said, go on open it. I did, and inside was the most beautiful cake I have ever seen in my whole life. (I think I sent a picture of it home). It was dark chocolate with curly cursive handwriting (Sister Kennington’s favorite) and golden sparkles! It had beautiful purple flowers on it too. Paul told me about how it was supposed to taste, and I just couldn’t wait to eat it and share it. I ran back to the kitchen right there and we shared it with him and the rest of the sisters at the Battalion.

THAT is what sharing the Gospel should be like. If Paul would have come in, opened of the box, grabbed a handful of cake and thrown it at my face, I would not have been happy to say the least. The cake would still have been beautiful, and still tasted good, but I would not have wanted it.

I know that sharing the gospel can be hard. (Remember, I really do know: I NEVER ANSWERED THE PHONE!) Elder Holland said, "Missionary work is not easy because salvation isn’t cheap." How true that is! There are so many things you can do. I'm already thinking of the kind of member I want to be when I go home.

When your friends, coworkers or neighbors ask you how your weekend went, do you respond with a "Oh, it was great, how about yours?" Or do you tell them about the ward activity you went to, or what you learned at church? If you are too scared you can't answer their questions, have you made a mormon.org profile and told your friends to check it out? Have you prayed as families of what less-active member you could invite just to have dinner? No strings attached, just dinner!

That is something I have learned from the members here in San Diego. No, they aren’t perfect, but they ask. They share. Their ward councils and Relief Society meetings, Young Mens and Young Womens are all focused about rescuing, retaining, and finding- MISSIONARY WORK! You cannot keep the cake for yourself!

In Preach My Gospel, there is a quote by George Albert Smith:

"That is your mission, my brethren and sisters of the church, that is your responsibility. Freely you have received and our Heavenly Father will expect you to freely share with His other sons and daughters these glorious truths. We will attain our exaltation in the Celestial Kingdom ONLY on the condition that we share with our Fathers other children the blessings of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and observe the commandments that will enrich our lives here and hereafter."

Intense, right? 

But really, you can do it! "Minastraba" in some language I totally forgot, but Elder Zwick told us once, means to "put it on your heart". Put your missionary purpose on your heart, and you will see miracles. Just like the man from Florida this week: I see miracles every second of every day and it never has to stop. Not for you and not for me.

Just remember, missionary work is not easy because salvation isn’t cheap!

 

Pure love and agency

SAN DIEGO — I have a lot of thoughts and emotions right now. I honestly had an internal debate whether I wanted to write home or not this week. Of course, the Holy Ghost bonked me over the head and told me, "don’t you dare, your mother needs a letter!" The Holy Ghost is ALWAYS right.

We just got back from what is called a "sisters retreat", where all of the sisters in the mission met at the Clayton's home and had lunch. We learned from President, Sister Clayton and the training sisters. Sister Clayton spoke. I don’t really remember what she said, but the tears rolled down my cheeks as I looked around at the beautiful scene of a roomful of Sisters in Zion.  My heart hurts at the thought that my time is almost finished here in San Diego. What an amazing journey this has been.

I sometimes get the time to ponder about the plan God has for us. I have had a few of those moments this week.

The first thing I was pondering about was the love Heavenly Father has for us. 

Yesterday, I was teaching a man who doesn’t leave his home, he plays video games all day, and does drugs and alcohol. His father is Mormon, so he asked if we could come and teach him more about the Church. At first glance, my immediate reaction was, "There is no way this man will accept or live the gospel." The Spirit kindly chastised me, and I cringed thinking, "Who are you, Sister Newman, to say who can and cannot be changed by the Atonement of Jesus Christ?" 

I said a silent prayer, and pictured him being sealed to his future spouse. During the lesson, I told him that I knew we didn’t know about him, but we cared about him and loved him. He surprised me by saying. "How can you?" Heavenly Father opened my heart, and somehow, some way, he helped me love this man just as He did. That is how I know that God loves all of us.

I was also pondering a lot about agency this week. Agency is such an important part of the Plan of Happiness. God will not and never has forced us to do anything. I have seen that this week with many of our investigators.

Selina watched the Joseph Smith movie and explained that she knew she needed to read the Book of Mormon to find out it was true, only to tell us this morning that she would be too busy to learn. 

Lupita, whose sister is a Mormon, is sitting in lukewarm water, not caring either way if the Gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored again. 

Celeste decided that she felt too much pressure and won't answer any of our calls. 

Every single one of them, just prior to their decision to ignore and turn away, had a spiritual experience as the Holy Ghost testified that what we were saying was true. As much as it hurts my heart, I know that they have to be able to choose. I wait patiently for the day in heaven, when I can sit by their side, wrap my arms around them, and tell them how grateful I am that they are here.

Lastly, I have come to realize how perfect this plan is. We just taught Brady the Plan of Salvation. At the end of the lesson, Sister Jarrett asked what he thought of the Plan of Salvation. He smiled, rubbed his chin and then replied in his Chinese accent, "Well, I think the Plan is perfect!" He is a sweet, sweet soul.

My conclusion for this week's experience is that I am just a tool in this perfect work. The pain, hurt, frustration, and tiredness can be taken away if I could but trust in Heavenly Father. He’s in charge! Why worry so much? If I am just where I need to be doing what I need to be doing, I can have complete trust that Jesus Christ will make sure that the work is moving forward. The Atonement is so real. My heart is changing. I know yours can, too.

We can be made whole through this perfect plan. Holy smokes, it is so great. I love Heavenly Father so much. Sometimes, I get so homesick for Heaven. But boy, am I grateful for this time on earth to learn, love, and experience the joy of living.

There is joy in this journey!

Calloused

SAN DIEGO — It’s weird when fall hits, and the sun is still shining here as bright as ever. It messes me up sometimes!

This week, it has really hit me how urgent this work is. God really is hastening His work. We are gearing up for about 50-75 new missionaries come January. What an amazing work this is! I feel the urgency inside of me, my spirit is trying to sprint to the finish, it is all I can do to keep up the best I can. There is just so much work to be done. 

I can see how hard both forces are working in this world. It has been so evident this week how hard Satan is working to confuse, distract, and lead away the children of God. Many of our investigators have testified of the truth, yet they refuse to live the gospel. It has broken my heart. There comes a point when they have to choose — choose to follow God, or choose to turn away, to step back into the world they came from. A world of chaos, distraction, and loneliness. The hardest moments on my mission have been the times when I look at one of my investigators, someone I have come to love with all my heart, and they look me back in the eye and tell me they do not want the gospel in their lives.  

It is devastating. But the work will move on.

I have noticed on the streets, the world is getting harder, tougher, and more calloused. People we talk to on the street laugh and make fun of us. Some are kind, but refuse to believe that they have to live the gospel of Jesus Christ to return to live with God. They think that they can do it on their own. We are getting to the point where I feel like we are trudging through mud, trying hard as we might to find those that are prepared. Despite the difficulty, the work will move on.

I have had many experiences this week, but I would like to share with you an experience from the Mormon Battalion Historic Site I had while I was on shift.

November 3, 2012

I was finishing up a tour in gold panning, and a middle-aged gentleman walked up, looking around like he had just walked up to the historic site. I excused myself from the family I was helping and welcomed him to the Battalion and to Old Town. 

We talked for a minute and I asked if I could show him how to pan for gold. He agreed and we started panning. Over the past few weeks, I have had a few experiences talking with people at the Battalion or at the temple where a peace comes over my heart, and I am certain that they are a child of God that specifically has been guided at that time and at that moment to be healed by the message of the Restored Gospel. 

As I talked to him, I had that peace come over my heart. 

I looked at him and could feel the burden on his heart. I could see it in the sadness and darkness of his eyes. I hear it in the tone of his voice. I just told him that I could tell he had a burden on his heart, and wondered if he wanted to talk about it. 

He told me that he just didn’t like where he was at this point in his life. 

"I just go out on the weekends and drink, and party, and I don’t even know why I do it. I suppose because I am bored and I don’t know what else to do. I just want to change" 

I testified of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and the power it has to lift his burdens, to comfort his heart, and that through the gift of the Atonement, he had the power to change. We walked into the resource room and looked at the display of the Book of Mormon and of the Bible. How amazing it was to me to be able to testify of the Old and New Testament, and Another Testament of Jesus Christ. The books that contain the Gospel, the way to find peace and joy in this life. 

He looked at them for a while and then looked up at me with his sad eyes and told met that ' I just feel like I have calluses on my heart. I just can’t feel anymore." 

I asked him if he had ever felt the Spirit before. He said, "Once. When I was a young boy, I felt that I should go back to church. I knew God was speaking to me and I didn’t do it." 

We slowly walked to the lobby and sat on the couch. I testified that the missionaries could teach him how to get rid of the calluses on his heart and help him start over, completely change. I felt the Holy Ghost remind me of my missionary purpose — To invite others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the Restored Gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and his Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost and enduring to the end. How great is my calling!

I turned to him and asked him if he found that what I was teaching is true, would someone holding the priesthood authority of God baptize him. He looked at me and said, yes. He hadn’t prayed since he was little, so we went to the theater and knelt down in prayer. I prayed first and then he followed. His prayer was the most sincere prayer I have heard. I felt honored to be kneeling in a room where God's son — His little boy —was returning back to Him.

That moment will be one I never forget.

The lesson I learned through this is that, yes, things are hard, the world is bad, and Satan is loosing his chains over the whole earth. But GOD'S WORK WILL MOVE FORWARD. And we have the responsibility to be part of it. 

Are you joining the fight, or are you sitting on the sidelines? With or without you, His work will continue.

A week of miracles

SAN DIEGO — Today is one of those days that my heart just got pounded with how much I love and my family. I hope you are all doing well. It sounds like it! Sara's interview, Nick's interview, Finding out about the mini-Chris or Hannah — you all have your hands full!

Mom and Juli: Thanks for the package, it is just perfect. I’m going to share the Halloween treats tomorrow at district meeting:)

Mom: would you tell grams and gramps thanks for the letter and that I love them? I wont have time this week to write a letter.

Dad: I blew it on Grandpa (Newman)'s birthday. Can you tell him happy birthday for me, and that I love him so much! So sorry about that, I feel so bad!

This week we have been teaching people a lot about the Ten Commandments. Every time we talk about "thou shall not covet" to me, Heavenly Father is saying, "Brittany, please be grateful for what I have given you." 

We have a calendar up in our apartment and each day we write down one of the miracles that happened to us. I am so very humbled every time I look at that calendar to realize the hand God has in my life. This week I want to share with you my week of miracles.

Monday, October 22, 2012: Celeste committed to be baptized!

"...Sister Jarrett, having been so scared to recite the First Vision, started speaking with such power and authority that all in the room could in no way deny that what she spoke was from Heaven. The Holy Ghost bore a powerful witness to all of our souls of the truth of Joseph’s vision. I looked at her, with conviction in my soul, knowing that if she felt what I did, she would want to follow the example of Jesus Christ and be baptized with someone holding the priesthood authority of God. As I invited her to be baptized, she looked at both of us, and said. "Yes. It makes sense.... Yes".

Tuesday, October 23:

After Preparation Day, we had shift at the Battalion. The senior couple was stuck in traffic; I was assigned to the desk. (Meaning I make sure that the sisters coming on shift relieve the senior missionaries that were taking tours). After a few minutes of slight chaos, the job was done... or so I thought. After about 10 minutes, a guy pops out of the outfitting room and says, "I tried to give them the tour, but the ladies come to the window and I don’t know what to do next!" This poor Mormon guy, who had been in a week before and brought his friends back, gave the tour from the enlistment room to where Martha comes to the window in the outfitting room! I rushed in, played it off the best I could. Can you imagine though? HA! I wish I had their perspective of a pioneer popping into the tour looking concerned that the roof might leak! It was pretty funny.  That made it possible for us to laugh and joke the rest of the tour, by the end, our only non-member on the tour felt right at ease and was willing to learn more.

Wednesday, October 24: An opportunity to serve

Sister Stirling was sick and we were the only ones that could help so her companion could stay on shift. We sat at her apartment and weekly planned, and had extra time to clean their apartment. What a good feeling it is to help someone in need. They had been worrying about when they would have time to organize, and here Heavenly Father plopped us right in her apartment room, making our schedule available, so Heavenly Father's dear daughters would have one less thing to stress about. I love Heavenly Father's timing!

Speaking of timing, as we were finishing up, President called me out of the blue. He just had this feeling to ask me if I had considered coming home on the 29th. It hit me so hard as he was speaking, because I have been suppressing this worry inside that maybe I should have decided to come home a few days earlier to get school in order. Thinking that it was too late, I pushed those feelings aside, knowing that I already committed to that date. But as President talked to me, I felt Heavenly Father's reassurance that He really does know me inside and out —worries and all — and He does care. (So, FYI Parents, even though I don’t want to think about it, my departure date is now December 29th. So don’t leave me stranded at the airport!)

I’m running out of time so I’m going to skip Thursday- It was great though!

Friday, October 26: A roomful of mission presidents

All of the mission presidents in the western United States had a mission president’s conference in San Diego this week. I was on shift as they all came to take the tour, and was lucky enough to take one of the tours. It was slightly intimidating, as there were about eight mission presidents and their wives, and 2 sets of General Authorities. I felt so honored to tell the story of my ancestors.

When we got to the courthouse, I stood in front of them, not as a nervous 22-year-old, but as a representative of Jesus Christ. As I spoke, I know the words didn’t come from me — these men faced challenges every day. "Though yours aren’t the same, I know you have to do hard things. My mission president has made all the difference in my life as you do for your (missionaries)." 

Imagine that scene, three benches filled with men in suits. I felt their tiredness, their frustrations as their missionaries choose the wrong, the pressure of moving the work forward. And at that very moment, Heavenly Father helped me tell them that they were important to Him. (I hope you know that you are important to Him too)

I’m really running out of time now! I'll do one more

Saturday, October 27:

We were on shift at the temple and Julio and Blanca from Mexico walked up. They had seen pictures on the Internet of the temple and wanted to know what it was. As I was telling them about the temple, it was different than any other experience I have had before. The Spirit came from them. Their eyes wouldn’t leave mine. Heavenly Father told me they are ready. And yes, they were. God will move His work forward with or without us. But believe me, you don’t want to be left behind.

Just a final thought:

"Who shall say that Jesus Christ did not do many mighty miracles? And if there were miracles wrought then, why has God ceased to be a God of miracles and yet be an unchangeable being?" And behold I say unto you HE CHANGETH NOT; if so he would cease to be God; and he ceaseth not to be God, and is a God of miracles."

That is as true in my life as it is in yours. Have you thanked Heavenly Father for today's miracles?

Time

SAN DIEGO — I only have about ten minutes to write this week. I am so sorry, I just ran out of time. It's funny that it happened because what I have been pondering lately is time. What precious moments these are.

There is a quote Sister Jarrett showed me from Elder Ardern's talk from a previous conference:

"Time is never for sale; time is a commodity that cannot, try as you may, be bought at any store for any price. Yet when time is wisely used, its value is immeasurable. On any given day we are all allocated, without cost, the same number of minutes and hours to use, and we soon learn, as the familiar hymn so carefully teaches, “Time flies on wings of lightning; we cannot call it back” (“Improve the Shining Moments,” Hymns, no. 226). What time we have we must use wisely. President Brigham Young said, “We are all indebted to God for the ability to use time to advantage, and he will require of us a strict account of [its] disposition”

"With the demands made of us, we must learn to prioritize our choices to match our goals or risk being exposed to the winds of procrastination and being blown from one time-wasting activity to another...

"... The poor use of time is a close cousin of idleness. As we follow the command to “cease to be idle” (D&C 88:124), we must be sure that being busy also equates to being productive. For example, it is wonderful to have the means of instant communication quite literally at our fingertips, but let us be sure that we do not become compulsive fingertip communicators. I sense that some are trapped in a new time-consuming addiction—one that enslaves us to be constantly checking and sending social messages and thus giving the false impression of being busy and productive.

"Satan will tempt us to misuse our time through disguised distractions... As many have already discovered, there is an increase of happiness in life as we use our time to seek after those things which are “virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy

"I know our greatest happiness comes as we tune in to the Lord (see Alma 37:37) and to those things which bring a lasting reward, rather than mindlessly tuning in to countless hours of status updates, Internet farming, and catapulting angry birds at concrete walls. I urge each of us to take those things which rob us of precious time and determine to be their master, rather than allowing them through their addictive nature to be the master of us.

Alma spoke of priorities when he taught that “this life became a probationary state; a time to prepare to meet God” (Alma 12:24)...  I testify that when help is prayerfully and sincerely sought, our Heavenly Father will help us to give emphasis to that which deserves our time above something else... 

To have the peace the Savior speaks of (see John 14:27), we must devote our time to the things that matter most, and the things of God matter most. As we engage with God in sincere prayer, read and study each day from the scriptures, ponder on what we have read and felt, and then apply and live the lessons learned, we draw nearer to Him. God’s promise is that... “[He] shall give unto [us] knowledge by his Holy Spirit”

I testify that there are great rewards for those who take time in mortality to prepare for immortality and eternal life.

A few days ago, I calculated out how much time I really get to teach each day until the end of my mission. When you take out time for sleep, eating, study, and don’t count the tours at the Mormon Battalion, the precious time left of my mission adds up to about ten days. Elder Zwick talked about how we as missionaries are to live the law of consecration, it is by the "perfect use of time". I think that statement applies not only to my life, but also to our lives.

We have been trying to do that this week — using our time perfectly. We have been more organized, more on time, and more planned out. What I have learned is that when I make an effort to perfectly use His time, He allows me to be part of His perfect timing. I have made a goal to do what President Monson asked. The other day we were driving (I was lost, of course), and we saw a girl walking alongside the road. I had this feeling to pull over. 

"Why?" I asked myself. 

We have to get to these people's house, I’m going to scare this girl half to death, and I’m not exactly sure what my companion will think. But my spirit thought, "No, you do it and you do it NOW," so we pulled over, and talked to Gemma (pronounced hemma). We testified boldly of the Restoration and of Prophets. She was astonished, and wanted to know more. That is God's timing.

God will use every second of your time, it just depends on how much you give him. Do you give him an hour? 20 minutes? 30 seconds?

Time is precious. Time is easily wasted. And time is something we will be held accountable to God when the day comes that we are reunited with Father.

I have felt and seen the joy that comes from giving your life to Heavenly Father. We are missionaries now and forever. You can’t turn back. You are and always will be disciples of Jesus Christ. I hope you do what I did. Calculate how much time you are using during the day. I think you will be surprised how much time you have. What will you use it for?

Let the Lower Lights Be Burning

SAN DIEGO — I am so glad you are doing well! :) My week has been hard on my heart, that is for sure. I wish I could explain, but it is just so hard to.

Let me first start with transfers. You all asked a lot about how that works, and I realize I probably haven’t done very well at explaining. I am serving at the Mormon Battalion Historic Site six hours a day and I am assigned an area that I drive to for six hours a day. We rotate whether we take the morning or evening shift, so we can have both mornings and evenings in our area each week. We all live in Old Town San Diego so we can be close to the Mormon Battalion. My area is Helix Singles Ward. It is a HUGE area, covering 5 main city suburbs of San Diego. This is my third transfer here, and I will most likely end my mission here, as I am training Sister Jerrett. 

The church has a 12-week training program for new missionaries. We have a handbook, practice and reading materials from Preach My Gospel and the scriptures so that I can help Sister Jerrett, if called upon, to train after twelve weeks of being in the mission. I was really emotional this week sitting in the trainer’s meeting with President and the rest of the trainers. I think it hit me how much Heavenly Father loves Sister Jerrett, and how Heavenly Father has trusted me to help this be the standard for the rest of her mission and on into eternity.

Sister Jerrett is so great. She is 23 years old from Winnemucca, Nevada. She graduated from BYU in Human Development. Chris (Brittany’s older brother) and I were actually in her BYU ward at Roman Gardens! Chris may have played soccer with Jessica Buxton, her roommate? She recognized him in our family picture. Small world huh? It is so interesting the last two transfers training Sister Miller. I know it will be very different from training Sister Jerrett. They both are amazing missionaries, just very, very different. I suppose this is great practice for having kids. Let's just hope I don’t get any as sassy as me, right, dad?

Let the lower lights be burning, send a gleam across the wave!

 Do you all remember Daniel? The night before his baptism, he texted us and said he is "walking away". 

If you knew Daniel, if you could have just been in the room with me hearing his testimony of the Book of Mormon, if you could listen to his prayers as he plead with Heavenly Father to help him, watching his determination to live the commandments, you would understand how hard that was to hear. I haven’t heard from him since, but we will never stop praying or looking for him. The worth of every soul is great in the sight of God.

That same night, Robert looked me in the eyes and I asked him.

Robert, "Do you know the Book of Mormon is true?" 

He responded, "Yes".

"Robert, do you know that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God?"

Again he responded, “Yes.”

"Do you know that The Church of Jesus Christ has been restored to the earth?"

Robert responded, “Yes”

And then I asked him if he would continue to prepare for the day he set to be baptized?

Robert responded that he would not.

Even with knowledge that this is true, he said no. I wish I had an eternal perspective. I know that it will all work out, but I don’t understand why things happen sometimes!

All I can say today is how grateful I am to be a missionary. Do you remember the talk about the "lower light" from General Conference? Sister Jerrett and I sang that this morning and it really hit me what a responsibility I have knowing I am a daughter of God, and exactly what we all have to do to return to live in His presence again.

Look at the Hymn, "Brightly Beams Ours Fathers Mercy":

Brightly Beams our Father's mercy from his lighthouse evermore: His Gospel will NEVER stop shining upon the world that is dark and lost.

But to us he gives the keeping of the lights along the shore: WE are the ones responsible for shining that light. If we don’t, who will?

(Verse 2)

Dark the night of sin has settled; Loud the angry billows roar, Eager eyes are watching, longing for the lights along the shore:  There ARE and always WILL BE sailors lost at sea looking for the lower light to guide them safely home. Have you left your post? For a second? For quite some time? Come back! Your light is needed to guide someone safely home.

(Verse 3)

Trim your feeble lamp, my brother, some poor sailor, tempest tossed. Trying now to make the harbor, in the darkness may be lost- Strengthen your testimony, no matter who you are, we need to trim our lamps to shine forth and be a standard to the nations.

----

I think being a missionary opens one's eyes to the urgency of this work. You may read these emails and think, "Oh she’s just a missionary". That I am and forever will be. I cannot and will never go back. Neither should you.

Love you all, I hope you think about the way you are using this precious time on earth, for we will all be held accountable for every single moment.

The Fourth Watch

SAN DIEGO — General Conference was amazing!

I sometimes think, "Oh how cool would it be to know Moses, Noah, even Lehi", and then I realize once again: I get to see the prophet of God here, now, TODAY! Do you realize how incredibly lucky we are?

When I teach people about the prophet, they are amazed, they are so excited and anxious to learn what he has to say. And then I hear members grumbling about "having" to watch conference. Don’t ever take that for granted!

Dad asked me what I thought about the new age limit for missionaries. I am so excited to add more troops to this war! The time is getting eerily close. You can see it in everything, especially being a missionary. I feel like I could place myself in the war chapters of the Book of Mormon sometimes. Right now, I feel that I am in Antipus' army. We are fighting with all our might and it seems like we might be overtaken, but now Heavenly Father has recruited the Stripling Warriors — his young ones with fire and faith and zeal to help us win the war. It gives me chills thinking about it.

Today I want to talk to you about "the fourth watch." I want to share with you something that Sister Clayton wrote to us as missionaries:

In the sixth chapter of Mark, after having fed the five thousand, the Savior sends his apostles down to the ship, and instructs them to push out to sea.

"And when he had sent them away, he departed into a mountain to pray. 

And when even was come, the ship was in the midst of the sea, and he alone on the land. 

And he saw them toiling in rowing for the wind was contrary unto them and about the fourth watch of the night, he cometh unto them, walking upon the sea"

 The Hebrew night was divided into four watches, each lasting three hours with the fourth watch taking place between three in the morning and sunrise. 

Brother Wilcox states: "I worship a fourth watch God. One who tends to feel that it is good to let His children toil in rowing against the wind to face a little opposition. My problem is that I am a first watch person. Now there is something inside of me that understands that it is good for me to toil in rowing against the wind. But certainly by the second watch He would come. And when the second watch has passed and He still has not come, sometimes I forget that... He is watching."

Brother Wilcox goes on to explain it is easy to make one dangerous assumptions about why He is not coming yet to us. One is that the Savior is just not there and that is why He is not responding. Second is that if He is there, He is not listening. Third is if He is there and He is listening He must not care. And the fourth — and most dangerous of all — is that if He is there, and if He is listening, and if He cares, we must not be worthy.

In all cases, these assumptions are false. He is there. He is listening. He cares. And even though we probably are not entirely worthy, He will always respond. If He has not yet come to us, it must be because we have not yet reached the fourth watch.

I, too, feel like a first watch person. This week has proven to test my faith. We had five investigator lessons cancel on us, and have not added anyone new for a few weeks now. It has been weighing heavily on me. 

I remember the other night, jokingly yelling at the ceiling during one of our nightly plannings, "Heavenly Father, please can this be our fourth watch?" 

To my surprise, the very next day the Elders gave us a referral of a girl they had been teaching that was Young Single Adult age. Then yesterday, we were able to find a few people for the other missionaries to teach. How humbling it is to know that God does hear us. He does know us and He does care.

I’m not saying you can yell at the ceiling for the fourth watch to come. Sometimes it is far off, sometimes it is close. But I want you to know that it will come. I know with each of you, you are going through hard times. I hear about it, and I want you to know I think and pray about you. Don’t give up. Please don’t give up. It just might not be the time of the forth watch.

P.S: Just got transfer calls. They are splitting me and Sister Miller. I’m training in Helix, probably to the end of my mission as training takes two transfers and that’s all I have left. Can you believe 11 out of 13 transfers in a singles ward? Whew! CRAZY!

Lengthen your Stride

SAN DIEGO — Let me start out with a funny story or two. You know me, and mom has taught me well (about cleaning). What a difference it makes to have a clean home so that the Spirit can be there.

I have taken that advice seriously my whole mission and am proud to say, Mom, you could come into my apartment and be really happy. 

The other night, to my dismay, Sister Miller and I finished planning and were sitting on the floor to write in our journals, when a little "stuart little" came running from under the couch across the floor to the kitchen.

Surprisingly, we didn't scream, but boy, did we get on top of the couch and chair as fast as we could! We were telling Sister Affleck about the story and she told us a pretty funny thing that happened to her just before she came on their mission. 

She was up late studying for an anatomy test and earlier that day had watched Stuart Little with her grandson. All of a sudden she saw a little mouse climb on top of the counter and start nibbling on the bread bag. With Stuart Little on her mind, she whispered, "Hey mouse, you gotta get out of here!"

The little mouse looked up at her. "No, I'm serious little mouse, if my husband comes down and finds you, your dead!" 

Then she heard Elder Affleck ask, "Karen, what are you doing?" 

"Just talking to this mouse. I told him if he didn't leave, you would get him". 

Then she said, "sure enough, 10 seconds later, he was being flushed down the toilet, dead as a door nail!

Anyway, I thought that was cute :)

Many of you asked about Ryan's baptism on Saturday. Let me tell you how it went:

September 29, 2012

Today was an incredible day. My mind keeps rewinding back to the moment that Ryan came up out of the water, his face shining, his smile wide, and my heart full of the assurance that he felt clean, new and at peace.

I was just sitting on the couch pondering a moment I had a few days ago at our missionary training day. President Clayton brought the three zones that were together out in the parking lot. Imagine just that: 40-50 missionaries forming a solid line across the lot, our mission president at the head of us, like a modern day Army of Helaman. 

He asked us to start walking. We did. Then, he asked us to "raise our sights" immediately, 50 heads raised to the heavens. Then he called, "lengthen your stride." Quickly we covered more ground...march, march, marching across the lot. "Quicken your pace!" The urgency of the work hit my soul and I wanted to sprint across the parking lot to find the imaginary soul waiting to be found.

Sitting on the couch, having just witnessed Ryan's baptism, I imagined the missionaries all over the world. Just think — eyes raised to the heavens, our strides lengthened, and our pace increased. It hit my heart to think of how many of God's children made a covenant with God today. In President Hinckley's words. "It is good, but it is not enough!" How true that is. 

I may be in the army of Helaman, but Helaman's army wasn't the only one that helped win the war. There was still Antipus, Moroni, and other captains that made a difference. I wish I could help all the members in this world raise their sights, lengthen their stride, and quicken their pace. There is so much work to be done!

I would never have thought before my mission that talking to a guy on the street heading to the bus stop would have meant anything. Boy, was I wrong, It meant EVERYTHING. That is something I don't need to be a missionary to do.

Our whole journey with Ryan is flashing in my mind.

•  Walking along the busy street, getting directions from Ryan, and talking about the Restoration, exchanging numbers literally as he was on the bus steps driving away
• Sitting outside the church in the parking lot, teaching him about a Plan that would bring him the peace that he desperately needed as he was full of a pain that was eating at his heart since the death of his father
• Kneeling in the middle of a lesson at church, asking him to pray to God to know if the Book of Mormon was true.
• Feeling the crush of my heart as Ryan expressed he wouldn't keep his baptism date.
• Finally, sitting next to Sister Miller, my arm wrapped around her, as someone we have grown to love and care about, walked into the water and was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

It was and has always been so amazing to feel the Spirit rush into the room and touch everyone's hearts. THAT is a testimony of truth, something no one can deny. Ryan's mother was there. I looked at her and knew that she felt the peace and the comfort that comes when the Holy Ghost is testifying of truth.

To end everything perfectly, the Rockwells (A senior couple missionary in our ward) bought Ryan a birthday cake as today was also his birthday. We hung up a birthday banner. Ever since his father passed away, birthdays haven't meant much to him and he hasn't really had one. As everyone was talking, we turned the chalkboard around with our birthday banner and brought out the cake, while singing happy birthday. I can't express how happy I was to see our ward, our mission president, Ryan and his mom as we welcomed him not only to the church, not only to a new life, but to a family.

It truly hit me tonight that this is really what it is all about. This life is a time to prepare to meet God, and spend the rest of eternity with our family.

 

Thank you all for your prayers. This gospel is so true. It is so real. It is so important!

He said Yes!

SAN DIEGO —It has been one of those roller coaster rides for sure. I only have time to tell you one of my experiences this week, but it has been one that spanned the whole week, and will be a lesson I will NEVER forget.

September 21, 2012

Yesterday we had a lesson with Ryan at the Mormon Battalion. We met in the teaching room to talk about some of the concerns he had. 

He didn’t understand the Atonement, which is a big deal, as the Atonement is the very center to everything. We were lucky to have the chance to re-explain the precious gift that the Savior Jesus Christ gave to the world. I felt my lips moving as I looked him in the face, but the words were not my own. 

The Holy Ghost whispered as I spoke: "Ryan, Jesus Christ knelt in the Garden and suffered for you. He experienced how it felt when you had to watch your Father slowly fade from the earth. His heart was pierced the same way with the last memory you have of your father, a memory that haunts you to this day, He experienced living day after day year after year with anger building up in your heart, eating away at you. He will be on your right and on your left, and will be there to bear you up." 

After testifying of the Savior's Atonement, we committed him to keep his date of baptism for Saturday. He stared at me, this time with dark, smoldering eyes and said, "I’m sorry, but no." 

If the sound could be heard, the room would have been filled with the sound of two breaking hearts. 

Not broken out of him pushing his date back. My heart felt broken because he didn’t use the Atonement. I don’t even want to ever feel how Heavenly Father feels when we refuse to use the gift of the Atonement. It's the gift of change. 

I know how I felt at that very moment. That, I know was only a glimpse of how Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ must feel. I was once told not to cry for others who are given the chance to use the Atonement, but only cry when they refuse to use it. 

After saying goodbye to Ryan, Sister Miller and I sat down in the theater. I rolled down in my chair, looked up at the ceiling and began to cry. Sister Miller grabbed my hand and we cried together. Then we knelt in prayer and cried and prayed some more. The Spirit filled my soul as Sister Miller asked if Ryan wouldn’t have the faith to overcome fear, please let our faith be enough. I know in God's timing, Ryan will enter the waters of baptism. Oh what a sweet and beautiful day that will be...."

September 23, 2012

"Sat with Ryan in a lesson today. He got out everything that has been bothering him. It is amazing to know that no matter who you are, where you come from, the healing power of Jesus Christ is real. 

Now that Ryan is ready to use the Atonement, I feel as if I want to jump for joy! We committed him to visit his dad’s grave, and to pray to his Heavenly Father as well so that he can feel the peace and comfort that comes from repentance..."

September 24, 2012

"Ryan came to the Battalion today. My heart has been in knots all week thinking about him. I care about him so much, and know that in order for him to find true happiness here on earth and to return to live with God, he needs to have the Gift of the Holy Ghost. 

I don’t think a second has gone by between Saturday and today that my heart has stopped praying that everything will be okay. We talked and talked about so many things: about eternal families, about the temple, about baptism. And here again, the Holy Ghost said, "Sister Newman, you recommit him to be baptized."

Again, I committed him to make a covenant with God. The silence between my question and his reply was unbearable, I thought my heart might collapse from what it's been through this week. He looked up at me, his eyes warmer today, brighter, free from guilt and shame, and said, "Yes". 

HE SAID YES!!!! HALLELUJAH!!! 

His life will be changed forever. Despite the bad, the hard, and the ugly in this world, a Heavenly Messenger of God can protect him...

I don’t care how bad this world gets. We are on the Lord's side.

 

The Iron Rod

SAN DIEGO — These computers are so super slow! But hey at least we have them. So first let me just individually answer some questions/write you something. -->

I know it’s a bummer about when I come home. I only had 2 choices. December 29 or Jan 1. Since they are barely any different, I just thought I would make it easier on President. I love you so much! And time will go by so fast, can you believe its already September? I’m sprinting to the end, and also so excited to see you all. It’s a weird feeling, being on the downhill slope of a mission.

As for this week, what a week it has been! Sister Miller and I received a referral from the missionaries this week. Daniel has a friend that is a Mormon and introduced him to institute. He sat in on some of the classes and then begged the missionaries to teach him more.

That’s where we came in.

He lives in our area, so we met him at the temple for our first visit. It was amazing! He is such a nice guy, with the purest heart you can imagine. We taught him the Restoration and he felt the Spirit so strong. He used to go to another Christian church, but he felt that something was missing. As I was telling him that God has established His church and His teachings throughout history by giving a man that he trusts the priesthood authority to act in God's name for the salvation of His children, Daniel lit up. He kept saying, "I know its true. I know its true."

Overnight, he received an answer to the truth of the Book of Mormon. Our next lesson, we wanted to make sure that he understood why the priesthood even mattered. His eyes brightened up and he said, "Well, all I can relate it to was at my old church where they had a barbeque and then just dunked us in the pool. I know that didn’t have God's approval. I want to have my baptism have God's stamp of approval. "

We met him on Sunday for his first sacrament meeting. It was so neat. One of the hymns was "The Iron Rod". Sister Miller told him that soon he would reach the part in the Book of Mormon that talks about The Iron Rod. Yesterday we met him, and he was so excited because he started reading about Lehi's vision.

Just this morning, I decided to reread Lehi's Vision, and this time as I read, It wasn’t Lehi and his family I saw, but it was me. 

I was the one that followed "the man in the white robe" through the dark and dreary waste. (1 Nephi 8:5-7) The waste that I saw was the city of San Diego, the place I have been living in for over a year, but this time I really saw it. People running from place to place without direction, putting everything on the things of the world, the people were there, yet they weren’t. It was as though they were "past feeling". Kind of what you would imagine in a zombie town in a scary movie.   

As I continued to read in the scriptures, it was me that began to pray (1 Nephi 8:8) because I didn’t know how to help these people. I wanted them to be happy, and the darkness, the eeriness of the city to be gone. As I imagined myself praying, I saw the tree of life, and I knew that the fruit on the tree would change the souls of San Diego and would bring happiness to everyone around me. I wanted that fruit, and I wanted to grab a bucket, start picking it off the tree and handing it out to everyone I saw.  As I "cast my eyes round about" (1 Nephi 8:13) I discovered my family — not my family that I have left back home in Utah, but the brothers and sisters that I have helped find the Gospel. I saw HR and Todd, Oliver, Cameron, Casey, Ryan, Robert, and Daniel.... I begged them to follow me to the path that would get us to the tree. (1 Nephi 8:20-21). Some of them came with me, others walked away wandering through San Diego and were lost.

The story is still being told. We all have this life to prepare to meet God and to help others along the way. If we want to help others that are lost, we have to continually hold onto the iron rod. (Verse 30) Just clinging (verse 24) or briefly catching hold of the rod WILL NOT DO. The world is getting darker. 

Just take an inventory of your life. Are you one of the "Clingers"? Do you occasionally catch hold? Or do you continually hold onto the iron rod?

We are tools in God's hands. Just like a surgeon who uses precise tools to perform surgery, if His tool is acting up or being difficult, he may try for a while to use it, but eventually he will lay it aside and use a different one.

We are all instruments in God's hands. If we do not give our will to Him, he will lay us aside and use someone else.

Love you all! Let's run the Lord's errands!

Pray for Daniel! And Robert! And Ryan! And Jereon! They are so close!!!!