The Fourth Watch

SAN DIEGO — General Conference was amazing!

I sometimes think, "Oh how cool would it be to know Moses, Noah, even Lehi", and then I realize once again: I get to see the prophet of God here, now, TODAY! Do you realize how incredibly lucky we are?

When I teach people about the prophet, they are amazed, they are so excited and anxious to learn what he has to say. And then I hear members grumbling about "having" to watch conference. Don’t ever take that for granted!

Dad asked me what I thought about the new age limit for missionaries. I am so excited to add more troops to this war! The time is getting eerily close. You can see it in everything, especially being a missionary. I feel like I could place myself in the war chapters of the Book of Mormon sometimes. Right now, I feel that I am in Antipus' army. We are fighting with all our might and it seems like we might be overtaken, but now Heavenly Father has recruited the Stripling Warriors — his young ones with fire and faith and zeal to help us win the war. It gives me chills thinking about it.

Today I want to talk to you about "the fourth watch." I want to share with you something that Sister Clayton wrote to us as missionaries:

In the sixth chapter of Mark, after having fed the five thousand, the Savior sends his apostles down to the ship, and instructs them to push out to sea.

"And when he had sent them away, he departed into a mountain to pray. 

And when even was come, the ship was in the midst of the sea, and he alone on the land. 

And he saw them toiling in rowing for the wind was contrary unto them and about the fourth watch of the night, he cometh unto them, walking upon the sea"

 The Hebrew night was divided into four watches, each lasting three hours with the fourth watch taking place between three in the morning and sunrise. 

Brother Wilcox states: "I worship a fourth watch God. One who tends to feel that it is good to let His children toil in rowing against the wind to face a little opposition. My problem is that I am a first watch person. Now there is something inside of me that understands that it is good for me to toil in rowing against the wind. But certainly by the second watch He would come. And when the second watch has passed and He still has not come, sometimes I forget that... He is watching."

Brother Wilcox goes on to explain it is easy to make one dangerous assumptions about why He is not coming yet to us. One is that the Savior is just not there and that is why He is not responding. Second is that if He is there, He is not listening. Third is if He is there and He is listening He must not care. And the fourth — and most dangerous of all — is that if He is there, and if He is listening, and if He cares, we must not be worthy.

In all cases, these assumptions are false. He is there. He is listening. He cares. And even though we probably are not entirely worthy, He will always respond. If He has not yet come to us, it must be because we have not yet reached the fourth watch.

I, too, feel like a first watch person. This week has proven to test my faith. We had five investigator lessons cancel on us, and have not added anyone new for a few weeks now. It has been weighing heavily on me. 

I remember the other night, jokingly yelling at the ceiling during one of our nightly plannings, "Heavenly Father, please can this be our fourth watch?" 

To my surprise, the very next day the Elders gave us a referral of a girl they had been teaching that was Young Single Adult age. Then yesterday, we were able to find a few people for the other missionaries to teach. How humbling it is to know that God does hear us. He does know us and He does care.

I’m not saying you can yell at the ceiling for the fourth watch to come. Sometimes it is far off, sometimes it is close. But I want you to know that it will come. I know with each of you, you are going through hard times. I hear about it, and I want you to know I think and pray about you. Don’t give up. Please don’t give up. It just might not be the time of the forth watch.

P.S: Just got transfer calls. They are splitting me and Sister Miller. I’m training in Helix, probably to the end of my mission as training takes two transfers and that’s all I have left. Can you believe 11 out of 13 transfers in a singles ward? Whew! CRAZY!

Looking into the Soul of a Mormon Apostle

SAN DIEGO — This week has been LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG! Great, but long.

I hope you all had a great Pioneer day:) My week has been full of many, many lessons from Heavenly Father. 

There have been moments on my mission that I completely and absolutely lose perspective. I wish I could see through Heaven's eyes every single moment for the rest of my life, but unfortunately, sometimes I get blinded. 

This week I felt so heavy, my heart was weighed down, I was overwhelmed with the task that Heavenly Father had given me, and I needed to learn a great lesson about the Atonement. It is amazing at how fast perspective can change, and it all depends on who you allow to take care of your heart.

This week I experienced both: 

First, I experienced giving Satan my heart.  As Alma said:

"And behold I say unto you all that this was a snare of the adversary, which he has laid to catch this people, that he might bring you into subjection unto him, that he might encircle you about with his chains, that he might chain you down to everlasting destruction, according to the power of his captivity" Alma 12:6

Anything that is against the will of God causes us to give way to Satan. We have to be pure, (or without blemish). I realized that any sin such as thinking badly of others, doubt, impatience, anger, frustration, jealousy — any tiny little thing — we are giving Satan our hearts and allowing him to chain us down. Sometimes it is not something we have even done, we are completely innocent, but still we have to let go, to forgive, to completely turn away from Satan and give Heavenly Father charge of our hearts.

 I think that is why Alma asks us in the Book of Mormon:

"Have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts? Alma 5:14 

This week, I have also experienced the peace and comfort that comes from giving in; giving everything to Christ and letting him take care of it. What an amazing experience that has been for me. 

Heavenly Father just added a "cherry on top" of my week of learning because yesterday we were able to learn from (Mormon Apostle) Elder M. Russell Ballard. He talked a lot about missionary work, explaining how important it is for us to be us. He told us that who we are is what God needs us to be in order to do his work. 

Even more important than what I learned was how I felt.

I looked into the face of an Apostle of God. A man who has trials and troubles, heartaches and fears just as any one of us. As I looked into his eyes, you could easily see his soul. He was hiding nothing, he was pure, he was light, he was radiating the light of Christ. I felt the peace enter my heart. There was no denying it. God's Restored Church is on the earth again, headed by a prophet of God and twelve apostles of Jesus Christ. The Spirit taught me more this week, than any words could teach me in a lifetime. 

The hard thing in this world is that it is full of noise. It is loud and offensive to the Holy Ghost. When was the last time you turned off the radio in the car, just to listen? When was the last time you spent a few moments in the morning to listen, ponder and pray? When was the last time you opened your Book of Mormon?

I promise you from experience just this week, that the peace that comes from using the Atonement — from trying every day to change and become better, to be pure in heart — is worth more than anything in this world. 

No wonder Moroni says, "Except ye have charity, ye can in nowise be saved in the kingdom of God.'

Let's change our hearts!