"I know I need to live it. I just don't want to"

*Editor's Note: While the story below is true, the investigator's name has been changed.

SAN DIEGO — For today, I just wanted to tell you two things that have been on my mind. The first is about our investigator, *Suzy.  Suzy is an investigator I have been teaching since the summer. We have had a lot of ups and downs together, and let me just say nothing has changed!

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February 26, 2012

It is amazing the highs and lows you have as a missionary. I suppose that is just life really. Looking back on my journal, I know that many of these pages are filled with the success and triumphs as well as failures and disappointments while teaching Suzy.

I can still remember the first time I taught her with Sister Nelson, I had no idea what she was saying, and frankly, I don't think she did either. As I fast forward in my mind, I can see the night that Sister Kennington called me as we were on exchanges practically squealing that she had just taught Suzy the Restoration, and all she could say was, "I get it. I get it. I get it!"

I fast forward again and clear as day I can see the light growing brighter in Suzy's countenance as she prays, reads, and agrees to live the commandments.  Then the moment we taught her the Law of Chastity leaps off the pages of my memory — I can still feel the disappointment, and the sadness as Sister Kennington and I realized that she was not willing to change, I can still hear the words, "I know I need to live it, but I just don't want to".

Again, I fast forward to yesterday and there I was, sitting in the teaching room at the Battalion with tears spilling down my face as I recalled the conversation we had just had with Suzy just a few days before about choosing this day whom she would serve. She had made her decision not to follow Heavenly Father, and there I sat staring at the cell phone, knowing that God expected me to account to her for her decision. My heart broke as I dialed her number, as the message machine picked up, and as I had to leave her a message telling her that because she chose not to follow Heavenly Father, there was nothing Sister Kennington and I could teach her that would matter if she wouldn't follow God anyway.

I struggled with myself that night. We had been fasting for Suzy. We had been praying for her. Studying for her. I knew I could not doubt God, for if there is one thing I know without a doubt. HE KNOWS BEST.

This morning came, and I struggled to have high spirits, for the sting of her decision was still weighing on my soul. How could she not choose Heavenly Father? I was in my own mind, thinking about that as we were driving to church as I looked down, and my breath caught. The screen on the cell phone was blinking: incoming call-Suzy. I answered the phone, thank goodness she could not see my face, for both Sis Kennington and I both had mixtures of curiosity, dread, and pure excitement on our faces.

She told us that she was in the church parking lot and wanted to know where we were.

I can't explain entirely the lesson I learned this week. But that does remind me of the second thing I wanted to tell you that I learned this week.  I was watching the church DVD called, "On the Lord's Errand" the other morning. It is a biography of President Thomas S. Monson. There is one comment that President Monson said that has had more impact on my mind than I ever knew could.

I probably won't be able to say it as good as he did, but I will give it a try. He said, " I want to be the kind of person that the Lord can turn to me and say, "I can ask Tommy, he will run my errand."

I have thought about that a lot this week. I think of the people that I can rely on to help me with the things that I need. I also think of those that honestly I wouldn't ever ask, because I know they would let me down. What kind of servant am I? What kind of servant are you?  Are you more focused on doing what you want in the way that you want at the time that you want? Or are you the kind of servant that has given your will to God. A servant that your Heavenly Father can turn to and say, I can ask (so and so), they will run my errand? Think about that. I know I have, and there are some things I need to change in my life.

Prayer is real. God is real. And He can only give us power according to our faith.

Preparedness, prayer, and the Ten Virgins

SAN DIEGO —I am kind of scatter brained right now. This morning Sis Kennington and I were at Zone Leader Council with Elder Zwick from the Seventy. He is touring our mission this week, and President Clayton picked Sister Kennington and I as the missionaries he interviewed afterward. I have a lot of thoughts and stories I want to share with you from the Past 2 days he has been touring the mission. Here is an excerpt from my journal about what happened yesterday-

February 20, 2012

Sister Kennington was starting a tour tonight. We were just about to start when I looked up, I being the one who was facing the front door, and saw our director, Elder Seegmiller, running up the stairs with the most frantic face I have ever seen. It was as though he had just seen a ghost or something. He waved me to come out of the tour with the frantic look on his face intensifying.

I am not one to get nervous, but seeing that look on his face, I have to admit, my heart started racing a little bit. Elder Seegmiller explained to me that he had woken up from his regular "p-day nap" to a voice mail from President Clayton explaining that they would be arriving at the Battalion any minute to inspect the sisters apartments (Mind you, they had told us they would be inspecting our apartments, but they told us it would not be until Friday this week). He asked for all the sisters' spare keys, and then disappeared to go meet President and Elder Zwick. News spreads fast at the Battalion, and I quietly watched as sisters became aware that their apartments may be inspected. Some of their faces showed their anxiety. I swear I could even see a green tint a few of them.

Are you as ready as you could be? (Matt 25:1-13)

One of the sisters voiced how unfair it was that he was coming today instead of Friday because they hadn't been able to prepare. I have to admit, I got a little anxious as I reviewed in my mind how our apartment had looked as we left it that morning. Thankfully, I had full confidence that it was clean enough, as Sister Kennington and I always have things picked up and cleaned.

I was thinking about that this morning as I was reading in the Doctrine and Covenants 33:16-17

"And the Book of Mormon and the holy scriptures are given for your instruction; and the power of my spirit quickeneth all things. Wherefore, be faithful, praying always, having your lamps trimmed and burning and oil with you that you may be ready at the coming of the Bridegroom. For behold, verily, verily, I say unto you, that I come quickly."

It was a wake-up call this morning as I thought of what happened with the apartment checks. As I was reading this scripture, I imagined President Monson announcing to the world: Christ is coming, He will visit the earth tonight, and judge every one according to their works.

I wonder what the world would do? Would some complain of the unfairness that Christ did not give them enough notice? Would some be anxious and green in the face at the prospect of the Savior inspecting their thoughts? Their actions? Would some run around frantically trying to fix things they would have done differently? Would we spend more time with our families? Would we read from the scriptures? Would we treasure the opportunity to repent? I hope and pray that we all would be able to take a minute to reflect on our lives and feel a sense of relief that we had done all we could do.

I want to share one more thing that Elder Zwick shared with Sister Kennington and I. We were able to have an interview with him. After the interview, he let us ask him any question. I asked him what is one thing that he has learned now that he wished he would have known when he was my age. He told us he wished he would have understood the power of prayer.


He then told us a story of when President Packer was younger, there was a huge flood that was destroying his property. President Packer called up Elder Zwick (before he was a general authority) and asked if he could bring some machinery over to help save the property and a bridge he and his sons had built. Elder Zwick went right over. As others were trying to save the bridge, Pres Packer drove he and Elder Zwick up a hill where there was a pond and some trees. President Packer told him that this is the place where he came many times to pray. He asked Elder Zwick, "Where is your pond?" 

I thought about that for myself. Elder Zwick kept saying, "I wish I had learned to prepare to pray."

This is what he meant. We need to prepare our hearts and our minds, we need to prepare the right environment as well, so that we can communicate more clearly with Heavenly Father. So today, I want to ask all of you reading this: Do you have a pond?

If you answered no, Please, find one! Heavenly Father wants to talk with you. Prayer is so much more than kneeling down sleepy, and puffy eyed at night and mumbling a few words and then jumping into bed without even listening for the answer. Believe me, coming from experience, that does not work. Prayer is powerful, it is sacred, it is real. God is there. He WILL answer us if we prepare to talk and to listen to him.

I have one more story to tell you. In the middle of Zone Conference today, Elder Zwick asked us if we would like to stand up. All of us of course took the opportunity to stretch our legs. Then Elder Zwick got a big smile on his face and told us a story. He explained that when he was first called into the Seventy, he was sitting in the temple with the Apostles and other members of the Seventy and it was a pretty small room. In the middle of the meeting, President Hinckley said, "let's stand" and then Elder Faust said, "Yeah, lets stand for something."

When I write you each week, that is what I hope you desire to do- to stand for something! There is more to our life than just living and breathing. Yes, work, friends, and fun is part of it, but does not even come close to our role in life. If anything, I hope you take an inventory of your life, and decide today if you have your priorities straight. If Christ came tonight would you be ready?

Less actives, Church tech, and forever without force

SAN DIEGO — Happy Valentines Day! Hope you are having a good one!:)

I got the email from Dad about Mormon Battalion Day. That was cool:) I have to say my quote wasn't very profound- oops! Sometimes, I just run out of cool words to say! When you've been out so long, unfortunately the everyday miracles that happen fade into just everyday events. I am trying so hard to get my "greenie" perspective back, but it is hard work, I tell you! I guess that is something I will have to watch out for when I get home as well. Falling into that trap of seeing every day as another day, and forgetting that it is 24 more hours to become like the Savior and see his Atonement work in the world. What a miracle just that itself is!

I have a few random things I wanted to tell you about this week:

In our area, we have been struggling so much with finding new people to teach. We are teaching Oliver, who is getting baptized in March and that is pretty much it. But Heavenly Father has sent us so many less-actives to teach. I have found a new love for rescuing those that have lost their way a little bit. Oh, I wish I was better at that when I was at home!

Two of the people we are working with are preparing for missions now. It is so amazing to see the Atonement work! We were teaching Paul last week how to teach the Restoration. We had to help him learn Joseph's account of what happened with hand actions (that was pretty funny), and then committed him to have it completely memorized by the next time we saw him. We were meeting with him this week and asked him to teach us the Restoration, he got a "Pshhhh, that is so easy" look on his face and totally recited the whole thing! It was so great!

We were helping a member with the exact same thing just yesterday and as we were leaving his house, he told us about Whitney Houston passing away. As a tribute, Sister Kennington and I belted "I will always love you" on our way out to the car. Lesson 1 of being a missionary: you have to learn how to laugh and enjoy every second!

Speaking of Oliver, He is doing SO GREAT. He is so solid. He lives with a member who has really exotic pets. Last time we were there, they were showing us their parrots. The great big one hates girls and will bite you if you get to close. Yesterday when we were walking up to the house to teach him, the big parrot was on her perch on the front door. We started walking up and she jumped at us, (and you knowing how scared I am of birds) and I hid behind Sister Kennington like a little girl. So she, being the brave one, held up her bag over her head and ran to the door bell so we could get inside. It is those silly moments I wish I could take a snapshot of and send home to you.

We are also being trained on using CHAT. The church is trying to help us missionaries stop using "19th century techniques in a 21st century world", so they are training us on teaching lessons over the phone, texting, and online. We at the Visitors Center also are learning how to use the chat feature on mormon.org to chat online with people all over the world who have questions. Just yesterday as we were being trained, a man from Europe got on and told us about how hopeless he felt. His wife had just left him, he lost his job, and he was worried about his little daughter. We taught him about Jesus Christ and how His Gospel could lift and strenghten him. It was so amazing. We have another appointment set up. Technology can be such a blessing!

Sister Kennington and I been talking a lot about how Satan has such a tight grasp on the world today. There was an older gentlemen giving a talk on Sunday, and was talking about how marriage in the world is "till death do you part". Sister Kennington and I looked at each other, it was sad to see in her eyes, a reflection of what I was thinking and feeling inside — it may have been true that in the past, people were married "till death do you part", but Satan now has twisted the world so that they truly believe that they can be married forever without someone who holds the permission from God to do that.

Now as missionaries today, when we preach about families being together forever, they say I already have that. When we talk about Jesus Christ, they either believe that they are saved by grace alone, or they don't need Jesus Christ, they can do it on their own. Just yesterday, we had a former investigator look us in the eyes after he felt the Spirit with its full force testify of the reality of Christ, and still, he said, "I don't want Jesus in my life." It's really sad. Thats all I know what to say. The thing is, who is Satan to think he can win? Families CAN be together forever, the Gospel HAS been restored. Jesus Christ IS real. I know that more now than I ever have in my life.

I hope you all know how much I love you. I pray for you everyday. I wish I could talk individually with every single one of you, all of you who read this, and share with you the miracles I see every day, the testimony I have been given, and the truth I get to teach. It's real. You can do hard things. God loves you!

God is the Gardener

SAN DIEGO — Another week has come and gone. It has finally gotten cooler, which helps remind me that time is passing. When the sun shines everyday of the year, sometime it feels as though I am repeating July 12 months straight!

This week has honestly been so hard. As a missionary, the work seems to be compared to a roller coaster ride. There are moments when we have so many people to teach, many progressing, we are finding, and teaching, and the work is moving forward. Then the adversary notices what is going on, and tries his best to derail us. You know the part in The Book of Mormon when the Lamanites are taught and thousands turn their hearts back to God and are baptized? At the same time, the Nephites harden their hearts past feeling that not even the Gospel can penetrate their hearts? I am beginning to believe that I am living the same story that was written in The Book of Mormon, though I am the missionary trying to teach the Nephites.

I have been truly humbled this week. I realize for the past 8 months of my mission, I have not fully allowed Heavenly Father shape me into who I need to be. I have squirmed, and protested, and fought back a little bit, when the times got tough, and I felt the heat of the refiner's fire. I was thinking about what Heavenly Father is trying to teach me, and what lessons I need to learn to be a better missionary, daughter, sister, and future wife and mother.

As I was sitting in Zone Leader Council this week, President Clayton answered my question by reading us a talk by Hugh. B. Brown.

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"You sometimes wonder whether the Lord really knows what He ought to do with you. You sometimes wonder if you know better than He does about what you ought to do and ought to become. I am wondering if I may tell you a story that I have told quite often in the Church.

It is a story that is older than you are. It’s a piece out of my own life, and I’ve told it in many stakes and missions. It has to do with an incident in my life when God showed me that he knew best.

I was living up in Canada. I had purchased a farm. It was run down. I went out one morning and saw a currant bush. It had grown up over six feet high. It was going all to wood. There were no blossoms and no currants.

I was raised on a fruit farm in Salt Lake before we went to Canada, and I knew what ought to happen to that currant bush. So I got some pruning shears and went after it, and I cut it down, and pruned it, and clipped it back until there was nothing left but a little clump of stumps. It was just coming daylight, and I thought I saw on top of each of these little stumps what appeared to be a tear, and I thought the currant bush was crying.

I was kind of simple minded (and I haven’t entirely gotten over it), and I looked at it, and smiled, and said, “What are you crying about?” 

You know, I thought I heard that currant bush talk. And I thought I heard it say this: “How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. I was almost as big as the shade tree and the fruit tree that are inside the fence, and now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me, because I didn’t make what I should have made. How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.” 

That’s what I thought I heard the currant bush say, and I thought it so much that I answered. I said, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and some day, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down, for caring enough about me to hurt me. Thank you, Mr. Gardener.’”

Time passed. Years passed, and I found myself in England. I was in command of a cavalry unit in the Canadian Army. I had made rather rapid progress as far as promotions are concerned, and I held the rank of field officer in the British Canadian Army. And I was proud of my position. And there was an opportunity for me to become a general. I had taken all the examinations. I had the seniority. There was just one man between me and that which for ten years I had hoped to get, the office of general in the British Army. I swelled up with pride. 

This one man became a casualty, and I received a telegram from London. It said: “Be in my office tomorrow morning at 10:00,” signed by General Turner in charge of all Canadian forces. I called in my valet, my personal servant. I told him to polish my buttons, to brush my hat and my boots, and to make me look like a general because that is what I was going to be.

He did the best he could with what he had to work on, and I went up to London. I walked smartly into the office of the General, and I saluted him smartly, and he gave me the same kind of a salute a senior officer usually gives—a sort of “Get out of the way, worm!” He said, “Sit down, Brown.” Then he said, “I’m sorry I cannot make the appointment. You are entitled to it. You have passed all the examinations. You have the seniority. You’ve been a good officer, but I can’t make the appointment. You are to return to Canada and become a training officer and a transport officer. Someone else will be made a general.” 

That for which I had been hoping and praying for ten years suddenly slipped out of my fingers.

Then he went into the other room to answer the telephone, and I took a soldier’s privilege of looking on his desk. I saw my personal history sheet. Right across the bottom of it in bold, block-type letters was written, “THIS MAN IS A MORMON.” 

We were not very well liked in those days. When I saw that, I knew why I had not been appointed. I already held the highest rank of any Mormon in the British Army. He came back and said, “That’s all, Brown.” I saluted him again, but not quite as smartly. I saluted out of duty and went out. I got on the train and started back to my town, 120 miles away, with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul.

Every click of the wheels on the rails seemed to say, “You are a failure. You will be called a coward when you get home. You raised all those Mormon boys to join the army, then you sneak off home.” 

I knew what I was going to get, and when I got to my tent, I was so bitter that I threw my cap and my saddle brown belt on the cot. I clinched my fists and I shook them at heaven. I said, “How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could have done—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you do this to me?” I was as bitter as gall.

And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, “I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.” 

The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness and my bitterness. While kneeling there I heard a song being sung in an adjoining tent. A number of Mormon boys met regularly every Tuesday night. I usually met with them. We would sit on the floor and have a Mutual Improvement Association. As I was kneeling there, praying for forgiveness, I heard their voices singing:

“It may not be on the mountain height

Or over the stormy sea;

It may not be at the battle’s front

My Lord will have need of me;

But if, by a still, small voice he calls

To paths that I do not know,

I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:

I’ll go where you want me to go.”

(Hymns, no. 75.)

I arose from my knees a humble man. And now, almost fifty years later, I look up to him and say, “Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.” I see now that it was wise that I should not become a general at that time, because if I had I would have been senior officer of all western Canada, with a lifelong, handsome salary, a place to live, and a pension when I’m no good any longer, but I would have raised my six daughters and two sons in army barracks. They would no doubt have married out of the Church, and I think I would not have amounted to anything. I haven’t amounted to very much as it is, but I have done better than I would have done if the Lord had let me go the way I wanted to go.

I wanted to tell you that oft-repeated story because there are many of you who are going to have some very difficult experiences: disappointment, heartbreak, bereavement, defeat. You are going to be tested and tried to prove what you are made of. I just want you to know that if you don’t get what you think you ought to get, remember, “God is the gardener here. He knows what he wants you to be.” 

Submit yourselves to his will. Be worthy of his blessings, and you will get his blessings.

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As that was read, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I have to let Heavenly Father prune me. I have no idea what is good for me, but HE does. We are so prideful in this world. ALL OF US! (yes, that means you, you who are shaking your head no after reading this statement, that means you too.)

We have to stop comparing, stop holding grudges, stop holding on to the "us" that WE want to be.

Believe me, you want to be who HEAVENLY FATHER wants you to be, not who YOU want to be. I am a living testimony of that.


I love you all. I never knew that I could be so happy. There is true happiness that comes from not only living the Gospel of Jesus Christ, but allowing it to become who you are.

'Not a single moment can be wasted'

SAN DIEGO — This week has been a crazy one! I feel like I start these letters the same way every week, but it is so true. Missionary work is so full of ups and downs. HR (the one baptized in October) finally went to the temple this week! What a sweet experience to have been able to see him be baptized, receive the priesthood and bless the sacrament, and now go to the temple to help others receive those same blessings! It is so neat! All I can keep thinking of is no wonder Heaven will be amazing! We all get to help each other get back to Heavenly Father!

Todd (the marine that just got baptized) received the Gift of the Holy Ghost on Sunday. W-O-W. Future Stake President right there. They are both so solid. I am so grateful Heavenly Father has blessed me with the opportunity to teach them both.

Saturday was Mormon Battalion day. They had a huge celebration in town square celebrating the Battalion making it to San Diego. We marched in the parade and then headed up to the Battalion and gave tours every 15 minutes from 10 am-to about 5 pm. It was crazy! There was a special spirit about the day, having an extra reminder about what these amazing men did.

Brittany with a local member of the Church on Battalion
Day. Photo courtesy of @GreggPrettyman.

Saturday was both a happy and a sad day. Sister Pelfrey's father passed away at 1 pm. He has been really sick for quite some time, but that doesn't take away the sting and hurt of losing a loved one. She is such a strong woman, so kind, so thoughtful, so loving. I was so blessed to be able to sit with her for a few minutes and listen to her tell me about her dad. We sat together and we cried together. There is
no doubt in my mind that Heavenly Father sent special angels to be with His sweet daughter that night.

This experience reminded me of how precious life truly is. We fought to have a place here on earth and we fought mightily, valiantly, courageously. Not a single moment can be wasted.

As a missionary, every six weeks we have transfers. And every six weeks I have the opportunity to look back at what I've done — how hard I worked, how patient or impatient I was, how I treated my companion and the other sisters — I have this great opportunity to look back and report to my Heavenly Father, my mission President, Elder Seegmiller, and myself of how I used the precious six weeks I had. It is a little scary when I have to look within myself and see if I truly reached the potential Heavenly Father has for me.

As I was sitting with Sister Pelfrey talking about how her dad is finally home, I thought about how my welcome will be when I return home to Father in Heaven. Did I love? Did I teach? Did I lift? Did I serve? Everything we do makes a difference. Everything we do we will be accountable for. It matters what we do here! It matters more than we realize.

I just want you all to know I love you. God is real. More real than we know.

"Miracles really do happen!"

SAN DIEGO — I sometimes have these epiphanies that, "Wow! I am a missionary!"

There is nothing like it at all. I wish I could explain it in words, but being a missionary is such a spiritual experience, it seems that there are only feelings to describe it. Nonetheless, I will still try my best to write in words what I am feeling.

But first, some shout outs:

Grandma and Grandpa Newman: That was so fun to see you, thanks for the Zucchini bread, the sisters definitely enjoyed it as well:)

Grams and Gramps Morgan: Hope your trip to North Carolina went well. Grams, I just got your letter, but haven't been able to read it yet, Thanks for writing!

Juli: I also got your letter this morning but havent had a chance to read it either, thanks for writing! I cant believe your baby Annalie is 4 today!:) Wow.

Sara:  Got your letter. I'm working on writing you today, so be ready for it! Love you girl!

Mom and Dad: LOVED LOVED LOVED the calendar and all the goodies you sent! Thank you so so so so so so so much. You are the best!

I was talking to Sister Kennington yesterday, and we realize more and more everyday that one of the biggest lessons Heavenly Father needs His missionaries to learn is to realize how precious our families are and to not take them for granted. You know how much I loved you before I left. Now multiply that by 100 and that is how much I have come to love you while being gone for these past few months.

Being a missionary definitely comes with ups and downs, just like life, I suppose. I teach people every day that there is opposition in all things, and that in order to experience joy we have to experience sorrow as well. One thing that is for sure, when the hard times come, there is always something great waiting behind what seems to be a towering wall of trial.

This week has been the "great" that was behind a pretty big tower of trial: on Sunday, Todd was baptized.

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January 22, 2012

The only thing I can think to say is how amazing this day has been. It finally came. It finally came!

I remember the first lesson we had with Todd. We introduced The Book of Mormon to him in which replied that he had already been reading it. The Spirit guided us to ask him what his thoughts and feelings were about the book. He looked at us with his military stance — shoulders squared, eyes straight forward and said, "I know it's true." 

And now, a month and a half later, Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost and the Book of Mormon have transformed him into a man with hope, happiness and excitement for the future. I sat in the Elders Quorum room, which was completely packed. People even had to stand in the back.

Todd, whose dad wouldn't even come to the baptism because he wanted to watch a football game, was surrounded by family, surrounded by love, surrounded by support. This is what Heaven is like, of that I am sure.

As Todd was standing in the font, Sister Kennington wrapped her arm around me and looked at me with tears in her eyes. That's all words can say to describe the feeling of seeing one you have prayed for, served, taught and loved enter the waters of baptism. I can't imagine how Heavenly Father was feeling: one more of His children found Him again, and is on his way home to His arms. I wish I could have seen Heavenly Father's face.

On Monday, we had our first meeting with Oliver. Here is a little bit from my journal about that experience:

Monday, January 23, 2012

We finally met with Oliver tonight. Oliver is dating Sara, a member from one of the wards in the stake. He was introduced to The Book of Mormon by her six weeks ago, but this is the first time he has met with missionaries. The elders taught him the Restoration and passed him off to us since he is a Young Single Adult.

We were able to have a lesson in our Branch President's home. That in and of itself was a miracle. I haven't been in a home since August. Teaching YSA's, most of our lessons end up at the church, or on the doorstep. We taught Oliver The Plan of Salvation. Every time I teach that to people, it is amazing to see the Spirit touch their souls. It's like something wakes up inside of them and they remember who they are.

Something woke up in Oliver today. When we invited him to follow the example of Jesus Christ by being baptized by somebody who held the proper authority, he told us he already knew it was true and he set his own baptism date for March 10, 2012. It felt like deja vu again!

Heavenly Father has taught me many many things. Tonight's lesson was that He really doesn't need missionaries at all. Just the Book of Mormon. The Holy Ghost bore witness to his soul that this is real. That this is true. He doesn't even know really who Jesus Christ is, yet He knows that God has witnessed to him of the reality of the Book of Mormon.

I wish I could tell you more of the miracles that happened this week, but I don't have time! I was asked a few questions that I thought I would try and answer in the few minutes that I have left.

Why do you love being a missionary?

There are honestly so many different reasons, I won't be able to write them all. I love knowing that even though it is not nearly enough, I am serving and giving back to Heavenly Father what He has given me. I love seeing miracles every day. I love being able to look back after a difficult trial and realizing that I did it. I love the people. I love seeing the light of Christ shine from one of God's children that before was dark and without hope. I love learning about what Heavenly Father expects of me and who He needs me to become. I love seeing other people realize that. I love watching His children who were lost, find their way.

What is the most important lesson you have learned from your Mom and Dad?

Well, again that is a question with many answers, but the first thing that comes to my mind is diligence. My parents have taught me what it means to work. Work to gain my testimony. Work to become who I want to be. Work to gain knowledge. They have helped me realize that nothing is impossible if you involve anything. Over and over again they have helped me realize that "In the strength of the Lord, I can do all things."

What is the most important thing you have learned on your mission?

Definitely to rely on Heavenly Father completely, absolutely, perfectly. When I give everything to Him, that is when miracles happen. We too often try to rely on ourselves, even just a little bit, when we think we are giving our all to Heavenly Father. It is when we let go completely, giving our all into His hands, that He helps us become, and do what we need to.

Time has flown by. I love you all. Miracles happen. They really really do!

A personal connection to the Mormon Battalion

Editor's Note: The weekend before Brittany wrote this letter, her dad (Curtis) and mom (Teresa) were visiting family in Pocatello, Idaho. While there at church, they ran into a cousin of Curtis', who told them after learning about Brittany's assignment as a missionary in San Diego, that the Newman line had an ancestor in the Mormon Battalion, and how great it was that Brittany was serving there.

It just so happened that this person had been waiting to be found. Curtis had had a prompting for months to open a family history of his great grandmother. It was sitting on a shelf in the basement, but was never touched — until Curtis found out about this family member. We found out he joined the Mormon Battalion at 19, and in 1857, was part of the group of men who held of Johnson's Army at the head of Echo Canyon until Brigham Young was ready to let them enter. He also served a mission in Oregon.

Brittany found out the very next day. Here's her letter:

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SAN DIEGO — I started crying as I looked at Oliver Norton on the computer screen. Just yesterday, I was showing a family how to use the roster kiosks and I pulled up Oliver Norton's name. I had the feeling to read his information, but my tour was too big and I got pulled away to take pictures of my group. And now I am sitting here looking at his face. I get to tell the world his story! Thank you so much for telling me that:) It was just what I needed today.

Oliver Norton Harmon, Jr.
Born: Oct. 18, 1826, Erie County, Pennsylvania
Died: Jul. 12, 1901, Milo, Idaho

I wanted to share with you two experiences from sacrament meeting and a devotional we went to this week. 

The first one was the devotional: The BYU basketball team was in San Diego and they always do a devotional before they play in the area they are in. Noah Hartsock and Brock Zylstra talked first (I know I messed up the spelling) and then Coach Rose got up and shared an experience he had. He was in the hospital two years ago after finding out that he had pancreatic cancer. He was pretty drugged, but he still could notice all the goings on around him. He heard people yelling, screaming, crying, and he could hear the nurses comforting and helping these people.

Then his nurse came in and was doing vitals and everything and asked him what she could do for him. He told her he was in much better shape than everyone else and that she should go help them. She replied that he was just as important and that she was there to help him. He described the overwhelming Spirit that came over him that day. He felt Heavenly Father tell him that he needed to be more kind, just as the nurse had been.

I have been pondering on that a lot. What everlasting influence does kindness have on the world? This morning in personal study, I read from the Ensign the talk called HE LIVED AS HE TAUGHT about George Albert Smith. There are a few sentences that illuminated from the page:

"If we truly have a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, it will manifest itself in our lives — particularly in the way we treat one another....Kindness is the power that God has given us to unlock hard hearts and subdue stubborn souls.... Sharing the Gospel is the Ultimate Kindness.... Love has the power to inspire our children to live righteously..."

I need to be more kind. I know Heavenly Father reminded me of that these past few days.


The other thing I learned this week from sacrament meeting is the power of change. Our high councilman gave a talk about integrity. He loves Chicago history, and he told us about Al Capone. A member of his gang, Easy Eddie, did horrible things for Al Capone, but he had a son, and he wanted his son to remember him with some integrity, so he acted as a witness against Al Capone in court.

Barely a year later, Easy Eddie was killed by the gang. Before I finish that story, I want to tell you about another man he told us about: Butch O'Hare. (Who the O'Hare airport is named after) Butch was a fighter pilot during WWII ( I think). He and his fleet were ordered to fly to their next target. As Butch was flying, he noticed that his plane had not been topped off and he would not have enough gas to reach his destination. He was ordered to return back to the ship. As he did, he was able to see Japanese fighter planes heading to the aircraft carrier. He warned the aircraft, but all the planes were heading to their target. So Butch flew straight at the Japanese planes and after using all the ammunition he had, started diving at the planes causing them to turn away from the aircraft carrier. Miraculously,  Butch made it to the aircraft safely.

Butch O'Hare was Easy Eddie's son.

That story made me realize how many people have influenced my life by showing their integrity by example. Sometimes I think we think that our everyday actions don't mean that much, but little do we realize that they mean the world. Seriously, I have come to realize that what I do every day effects eternity.

I am so excited for this week. Todd is getting baptized on Sunday! He is the second Marine I have been able to teach that is getting baptized. That alone is a sweet experience. So often the Marines feel like they can never be forgiven for the things they have done, but when they learn about the personal relationship they have with the Savior and that they can be forgiven, their whole countenance changes. I can't imagine how hard it is to be a representative of Jesus Christ in the Marine corps. They get made fun of so bad, yet they stand their ground. I am so grateful Heavenly Father has let me teach both HR and Todd. They truly are already great leaders in the kingdom of God.

Closer to Heaven

SAN DIEGO — I haven't read any of your emails or anything because I only have a few minutes to write today. The place we usually go had the internet down, so we are sharing the computer at the Battalion.

Part of my email time was taken up by a MIRACLE! A perfect thing to be taken up by, don't you think?

Elder Woodbury came and got Sister Kennington and myself from the back and told us there was a lady up front who wanted to know more about the Church. She hadn't even been on the tour yet! She was at the temple and she asked how she could go inside, and the temple workers told her that if she came to the Mormon Battalion Historic Site, there would be missionaries there to help prepare her to enter the temple in a year's time. She told us that she has struggles right now and knows that this can make her happy. We scheduled an appointment for her to come back tomorrow at 10. AMAZING! I love the miracles that happen every single day. They really do happen!

An update on our investigators: 

Charmaine is doing better. She still is struggling with the commandments, but is working through it and really wants to get baptized.

Todd also will be baptized at the end of the month.

Some sad news that happened this week. Ali broke his arm and can't afford insurance, so he has to go back to Iran to get it fixed. I think my heart may have literally broken a tiny bit. I know we talked in heaven. He is so close!

We need your prayers, though. I know there are people — just like this lady that came to the Battalion — that are in desperate need of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Missionary work is so amazing. You have moments when you are down on your knees in tears not knowing what to do next, times what you feel like you are on cloud nine when one of God's children accepts the Gospel, times when crushing disappointment takes your breath away as one you've learned to love rejects their opportunity of a lifetime.

Of course, there are moments when the only thing you can do is laugh.

I had one of those moments this week, as I was taking one of the Spanish sisters on exchanges a few days ago. I have heard horror stories at the Battalion of some very interesting food that has been served the sisters. We were having a lesson with a lady, and she decided she liked us, so naturally she wanted to feed us a taco. We agreed and she went to the kitchen to prepare it. As she started walking back to us from the kitchen, my heart sank as I saw on the plate weird squiggly white stuff. The only thing running through my mind was that did NOT look like any taco I had ever seen. Flashbacks of being with Dad in Finland and eating nasty stuff ran through my mind. I held my breath, telling myself it was all mind over matter. Then she gave us the plates: it was Chicken Alfredo!!! Yeah, MAJOR FALSE ALARM.

All the Spanish sisters had a hoot and a half hearing that one, though:) They taught me a new phrase last night when I was on exhcanges again, so sister kennington wasnt with me. "Yo tengo mucho respeto por usted, mujer." Anyway, I was supposed to say it to Sis. Kennington. It means, "I have much respect you, woman"

I'll leave you with part of my journal from last night.

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January 9, 2012

I just got off my second tour in a row tonight and saw that Sister Nelson was going to start a tour, so I went with her. We took a mother and her two little daughters through. They were so adorable. The whole time we were unsure of whether they were LDS because the daughter kept saying she had been here before. We finished the tour and still, we had no idea whether she was a member of the Church. 

At the end of the tour, she started opening up: her husband is deployed and her and her daughters come here often because of the feelings that they feel.

Of course they do.

The Mormon Battalion is a sacred place, a place where the legacy of these brave men and women is reverenced and retold to the world. The prophecy that the Battalion would be held in reverence to the whole world is fulfilled here every day. I am convinced that the real members of the Battalion are closer than we know at times. This woman felt that. She felt the Spirit. She felt it touch her heart.

She asked if she could go to church with us on Sunday, which we gladly accepted. What is amazing to me is the contrast of another tour I took earlier today. I took two people, cousins, on the tour. The whole time all they wanted to do was leave. They answered their phone multiple times and most of the time weren't even paying attention. Yet, still by the end of the tour their hearts were changed, and they were so excited to bring their family back.

Wow. The Gospel really does change people. No matter who we are, where we come from, we are all children of God. Our spirits still remember Heaven.

The struggle of agency and the Atonement

SAN DIEGO — Happy New Years! 2012????? When did this happen??? It honestly scares me. I have too much to do before the end of this year!

I am focusing completely on the work, but every now and then it hits me like a ton of bricks how much I love you and miss you! I know you all have busy things going on and whatnot, but I hope you are taking time for each other. I have had to learn being gone how precious and fragile the precious gift of family is. Everything else we do is so good,  but family is something that is far too often taken for granted, and far too precious not to be cherished.

Speaking of family:

Grandma and Grandpa Morgan and Newman: I got both of your letters, but I haven't gotten the chance to open them yet, and it's our turn to email, so thank you in advance for writing me. You are the best grandparents ever!!!

Chris and Hannah: Thank you so much for the card, for the gift, and for the letter. You are so good to me! Loved the stories Hannah!

Sara: WAHOOOOOOOOOOO another semester. Hope you have gotten everything settled! Can't wait to hear how the start of another semester has gone.

This week here in San Diego has gone by so fast — kind of in a blur. It seems like that's what keeps happening lately. Sometime Sister Kennington and I feel like we are chickens running around with our heads cut off! We are so much alike it is hilarious. We say the same things in the exact same tone and the exact same time, and just today when we were grocery shopping we looked down in our carts and realized we even eat the same food! Scary:)

We have honestly had a rough week. We were talking about it in the car today. I have learned so much about how real God is on my mission, but I have also realized how real Satan is.

One of our investigators, who was going to be baptized this Sunday refused to live the Law of Chastity, even though she told us she knew the blessings that would come from it and the happiness she would have. Another investigator broke the Word of Wisdom on New Years and feels so guilty that he won't talk to us even though he understands the precious gift of the Atonement. Another investigator decided to move to northern California to live with her boyfriend. All of them had baptism dates for this month.

The realization that there is opposition in all things and that agency plays a big role in that came crashing down on me this week. I can't describe what I am feeling right now, only that to watch these sons and daughters of God turn away from their Father hurts really, really bad. Sister Kennington and I were talking about how we can literally feel the weight of their salvation on our shoulders. I am struggling with the weight placed on my shoulders, but I know it is nothing compared to what Christ did for all of us.

It took my breath away talking to my companion in the car this morning about how much weight the Savior carried on His shoulders. I don't have any words to explain it. I can imagine that the heavens watched in silent tears as our Savior bled, suffered, loved, and died for us. I felt a reverence for Him I have never felt before. He lives. I know that my Redeemer lives.

We had Zone Leader Training yesterday and we talked a lot about the examples we are to others and how important it is to be exactly obedient. President has been asking us to make visions for ourselves of who we want to be and so I have been thinking about that a lot lately. Interestingly enough, I was reading about Moroni today in my personal study.

"And Moroni was a strong and a mighty man; he was a man of a perfect understanding; yea a man that did not delight in bloodshed; a man whose soul did joy in the liberty and the freedom of his country, and his brethren from bondage and slavery.

Yea a man whose heart did swell with thanksgiving to his God, for the many privileges and blessings  which he bestowed upon his people; a man who did labor exceedingly for the welfare and safety of his people.

Yea, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were and ever would eb like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men.

Yea, and he was a man who was firm in the faith of Christ. Behold he was a man like unto Ammon, the son of Mosiah, and even the other sons of Mosiah, yea and also Alma and his sons, for they were all men of God."

There is something I have learned here. I used to read that scripture and think, "That would be nice if I could be like that." Now I realize I can. I have a vision of myself. I want to be a Moroni, and you know what? I can be! We are all divine children of God, we have the potential to become like Him. Who are we to think otherwise?!?

There is a quote I love by Sister Marjorie Pay Hinckley:

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.

I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.

I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenk's lawn.

I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children.

I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.

I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.

I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived. "

That's the kind of person I want to be, and guess what? I can!

This new year is a perfect time to write down your vision for yourself. Who do you want to become? What do you want to tell people you have done on this earth? What difference do you want to have made?

I beg all of you reading this to realize that you can become exactly who you want to be. Don't settle for less. Please, please please don't settle for less! It, of course, can't happen unless you set goals and write it down, but I promise you, you can be exactly who you want to be.

I love you all, thank you for helping me be the person I am today! Let's start this year off with a BANG!!! Lets tell Satan who's boss!!! We are. We are children of a King! Children of great worth!!!

Don't forget it:)

Love you to the moon and back.

Praise to the Man

SAN DIEGO — I feel like I just talked to you! I guess that's because I did :) That was so fun, I'm glad you are all doing well. I don't have a lot to say since I just talked to all of you.

Here is an update on some of the people we are teaching:

Charmaine is doing awesome. She is getting baptized Jan 8. She has had a super hard past. I wish you could see how the Gospel has changed her. IT is the difference between night and day!

Ashli has been MIA. Prayers would be awesome! She is so ready, but Satan is working on her so hard.

Todd is the marine we are teaching. He is hilarious! He is super smart, super nice, and already seems like he's Mormon. He told us the other day that he is so sick of people asking him how long he has been a member, he just wants to get dunked already (he is waiting for the person that introduced him to the Gospel to come, so he won't be getting baptized until the end of January)!

Funny story about Todd: yesterday, we were teaching him the Word of Wisdom and the Law of Chastity. Sister Kennington started out by explaining how we got the Word of Wisdom (When Emma was so upset about the men chewing tobacco and everything). After she told the story, he looked at her and said, "Are you telling me this story because I dip?" Sister Kennington and I looked at each other, two naive utah girls with no idea what on earth "dip" meant. In unison (we are both becoming each other I swear), we asked "What does dip mean?" Apparently it means to chew tobacco. Ha ha- Well Mom, I think you would be proud, I am now educated on what weed smells like and the slang words for chewing tobacco!

The Church has asked all missionaries at historic sites to do the "chat" feature on mormon.org. So Sister Kennington and I are learning so we can teach the sisters. Yesterday, we got online and chatted with a woman from Estonia and taught her the Restoration. Another guy also came online and we got to talk to him about why Mormons are so happy. He had gotten online and watched the I'm a mormon videos and wanted to know if it was just the people in the videos or if it was all Mormons that are so happy. I just love missionary work! I bet Alma and the Sons of Mosiah are having a hoot up in heaven watching us preach the Gospel across the world from our computers!

I was looking through my journal and just wanted to share this excerpt before I go:

December 23, 2011

"I woke up this morning and there was a different feeling in the air. A peace. A calm. A quietness. I Flipped my scripture calendar from December 22 to December 23 and realized that today is Joseph Smith's Birthday. That explained a lot. It was as though the morning was reverencing his birth! We had our missionary Christmas party this morning. This whole day seems to be a blur except for one tiny moment that is still crystal clear in my mind. The moment was a few words that President shared with us in the tiny chapel in Mission Valley, Calif.

"Joseph Smith, the prophet and seer of the Lord has done more save Jesus only, for the salvation of men in this world, than any other men who lived in it." ....."

I just wanted to share that with you. I love Joseph Smith. I love my Savior. I love you all, thank you for everything!

The show must go on

SAN DIEGO — We sent off Sister Christensen this morning. She is a stellar missionary, and it broke my heart watching her leave. What an amazing legacy she has left for all of us. She is an example of a stalwart servant of God and has put true meaning to what it means to "Return with Honor". I was giving a tour with her yesterday and asked her what her last piece of advice would be for me. She told me to remember that no matter what happens in life, "The show must go on".

How true that is! Life goes on, the days come and go, the seasons change, the years pass by and nothing can stop it. Our attitudes, our actions, our desires are what give meaning to the precious time we have. Whatever trials we face, whatever heartaches come our way, it is our attitude that makes "our show" one of despair and disappointment or one of hope and happiness.



On the opposite scheme of things, this week I also sat in the front room of a sister that had no desire to be here anymore — who couldn't wait to pack her bags and go home. I sat in her living room, my heart broken, and sick to my stomach of what that kind of decision would do to this sister. I have learned that just as much as God is real, so is the adversary. Fortunately we are on the winning side!

I told you last week that Sister Kennington and I were going to irritate Satan this week, and I think we can say "mission accomplished." I don't know if you remember Ali. He is the Muslim that we had to stop teaching until President Clayton talked with him. He had his interview on Friday and President said we could teach him. On Sunday, we went over to his house and started completely from scratch. He doesn't even know who Jesus Christ is as he was never raised Christian, so we decided to watch the Finding Faith in Christ DVD with him. I want to share that part of my journal with you this week as it was one of my highlights. 

Sunday, December 19, 2011

Ali couldn't make it to church today, so we asked him if we could drop by later. We went over to the house he is staying at and watched Finding Faith in Christ with him. I can't explain how happy and relieved and thankful and excited I am to be able to teach him again. I can't explain it, but I know I promised Ali in heaven that I would find and teach him the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Of course, I probably have done that for our other investigators as well, but it just seems different somehow. Words can't explain what it was like tonight, sitting with Ali, who has no idea what the Savior did for him. We had to keep pausing during the movie to explain things to him: who the man and woman were who were looking for a place to stay in Bethlehem, who the 12 men were that were following Jesus Christ, and what was happening when Jesus Christ was kneeling down and praying to God in agony in the Garden of Gethsemene. As we paused at that moment, and looked at our Savior performing the Atonement, he looked over at me with tears in his eyes, and all he could say was, "Wow".

The Spirit hit me so hard, it felt as though I could barely breathe. Heavenly Father not only testified to Ali that what we were showing him was real, but he testified once again to me, that my Savior lives, that Jesus Christ really did perform the Atonement. I love this Gospel so much. I love my Savior with all my heart. And I am so grateful for the precious gift Heavenly Father gave me during this Christmas season: a reminder that He loves me and that is why He sent His son to the earth. The only words I have to say, are those of my friend Ali — wow.

Let's not forget:

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved."

Can't wait to talk to you on Sunday! :)

"Life is hard, but Salvation is priceless"

SAN DIEGO — Christmas time is definitely different on a mission. I am so thankful to Heavenly Father that He has kept Sister Kennington and I so busy. I have never been so happy to be so exhausted in my life. It is a little hard not to get a tiny bit homesick around the holidays, but it's not a bad homesick. I just love you all so much!
 

It was our turn to pick up the mail at the mission office. I got the packages Mom and Dad sent (haven't opened them yet) and Jackie Steele sent me one too! Nice huh? 

 

I honestly can't even remember what happened this week. It was so crazy, I can barely keep my eyes opened writing to you. Every night, I have five minutes to rush and wash my face, and brush my teeth and jump into bed before 10:30. Unfortunately, I have been really bad at writing in my journal. But for some reason, what I had planned to tell you about, I feel like Heavenly Father would rather me tell you about what happened last night. It is a simple story, nothing grandiose, nothing extraordinary, but it is the tiny, the seemingly insignificant things that testify to me that God is real.

I was serving at the Battalion last night. I had just finished up a tour and I was exhausted. We weren't that busy, but the other sisters were watching one of our Christmas presentations we have been having, so after finishing my tour, I walked up to the front and a little girl and her aunt were wanting to go.  Honestly, I was so tired I felt like crying. I had no idea how I would have the energy to take this little girl on the tour and make it a good experience for her. But Heavenly Father practically pushed me into the first room and I knew He needed her to come on the tour. I knew she was special to Him. 

 

When we got to the outfitting room and Sister Lewis and I were dressing her up like a soldier, it came to the part where we talk about how the men did what they did. How they were able to leave their families, leave their friends, and face the unknown. We brought out the Book of Mormon and the Bible and I got down on my knees so I could look in her eyes and tell her about her Savior, whose life was written in the precious pages. The Spirit pierced the room, it touched my heart with so much force, I thought for sure there must be angels peeking in on this sweet moment. 

 

Sister Lewis looked at her, and said, "Julianna, Heavenly Father loves you, no matter what, will you always remember that?" "Yes" was all she said. But that "Yes" held a whole new meaning to me as her aunt explained little Julianna's situation: living without the Gospel of Jesus Christ in her life because of the actions of her parents. What a tender mercy Heavenly Father gave me last night.

 

God loves all of His children. EVERY SINGLE ONE.

 

I have been thinking about the Savior a lot this month, of always, but this month as His birth is celebrated all over the world this Christmas season. Part of a talk that Sister Kennington shared with me came to my mind. I changed some of the words, but the talk is entitled, "Missionary work and the Atonement."

 

"Anyone who does any kind of missionary work will have occasion to ask, Why is this so hard? Why doesn’t it go better? Why can’t our success be more rapid? Why aren’t there more people joining the Church? It is the truth. We believe in angels. We trust in miracles. Why don’t people just flock to the font? Why isn’t the only risk in missionary work that of pneumonia from being soaking wet all day and all night in the baptismal font? 

You will have occasion to ask those questions. I have thought about this a great deal. I offer this as my personal feeling. I am convinced that missionary work is not easy because salvation is not a cheap experience. Salvation never was easy. We are The Church of Jesus Christ, this is the truth, and He is our Great Eternal Head. How could we believe it would be easy for us when it was never, ever easy for Him? It seems to me that missionaries and mission leaders have to spend at least a few moments in Gethsemane. Missionaries and mission leaders have to take at least a step or two toward the summit of Calvary. 

Now, please don’t misunderstand. I’m not talking about anything anywhere near what Christ experienced. That would be presumptuous and sacrilegious. But I believe that missionaries and investigators, to come to the truth, to come to salvation, to know something of this price that has been paid, will have to pay a token of that same price."

 

How much sweeter will Eternal Life be, when we can look back and see how far we've come. When we can say, yes, it was hard, but it was worth it. When we can look our Savior in the eye, and thank Him for reaching down and pulling us up when we had climbed as far as we could.

 

Life is hard. But Salvation is priceless. 

 

 

The power of the Book of Mormon

SAN DIEGO — WHOA!! I hardly have any time to write again! Time flies way too fast! There is so much going on and so many things to tell you. First of all, I had to print off your emails because I ran out of time to read them. I will answer your questions and everything next time and If I forget, just ask me again:).

I have never been so tired in my life. Sister Kennington and I literally lay down on our beds at night and within seconds are fast asleep. A tricky thing being a Mormon Battalion sister is we have the work to do in half the time. Having said that, Heavenly Father has helped us see miracles despite the little time we have had in our area this week. We were able to add seven new investigators this week, and three of our investigators now have a baptismal date for Jan. 7, 8, and 22!

Todd is a marine that has been totally prepared by Heavenly Father. We just met him this week. He has been stationed a lot of different places, but in each place, he finds the Mormon church and goes to the activities. He has never sat down and talked with the missionaries before, so this was his first time. We got to know him and introduced that central to our message is Jesus Christ.

As we were talking to him about how Heavenly Father has given us tangible evidence that we can hold in our hands as a testimony to the world that God has once again restored His church to the earth, I felt like we should ask him if he has read the Book of Mormon.

He said he had read parts of it. I felt again that I needed to ask him what his thoughts were about it. He looked up at me with a huge grin on his face and said, "Well, I know it's true!" We were able to explain to him that if the Book of Mormon is true, then Joseph Smith is a prophet, and if Joseph is a prophet, then The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is God's church once again restored to the earth.

We committed him to set a baptismal date, and even before we could set him with a date, he set his own! He already had been thinking about it and wanted to get baptized. The power of the Book of Mormon is real. This man didn't even have the missionaries teaching him, he hasn't learned about the fulness of our message, yet just reading the passages from the Book of Mormon brought a mighty change upon him. 


Ashli is a Mormon Battalion referral. Sister Nelson took her on a tour and since August we have been trying to meet with her. Finally, three weeks ago we found her. We have only been able to meet with her three times because of schedules and things, but already she has read to the middle of 2 Nephi. We are meeting with her this week and committing her to baptism. She has already changed so much, I am so excited for her!

Tyler is also a Mormon Battalion referral that Sister Kennington took on a tour. He is 18 years old and into music and things. His dad is very less active, but wants to come back to church. Sister Kennington and I went over a few days ago and introduced our message and the Book of Mormon to him. Last night, Sister Kennington (we were on exchanges) met with him again and he accepted a baptismal date.

Charmaine: the missionaries have been working with her FOREVER! Even before I came. She went to the Christmas Devotional at our branch president's home, and felt the Spirit so strongly. I know that the Spirit touched her heart and reminded her of the divine potential she has.

She was so different when we met her. She kept saying, "everything clicks, I get it. I get it now"  You would have to know Charmaine, she is the most scatter-brained analytical, spastic teenager ever. From the world's view, she would never change, she would never want this. Yet from God's perspective, she is His daughter, and His love can change any soul.

I wanted to share with you a glimpse of these people's stories because it is a huge reminder of the power of the Book of Mormon, the power of the Holy Ghost, and the power of our Father. This Gospel is real, so much more real than I ever realized. Heavenly Father is closer than we know, and we have angels surrounding us here, now every day. Just as Heavenly Father has a great influence in our lives, so does Satan. Just as I have seen the power of Heavenly Father. I have seen how good Satan is at deceiving, at ruining and destroying peoples lives. He is sneaky and tricky and He thinks he knows what's up. He has no idea.

I want to leave you with an excerpt from my journal, and something that I have been thinking about a lot this week as we have had Zone Leader trainings, and Missionary Training Meetings.

Monday, December 5, 2011


"I have been pondering all week about some things that President Clayton talked to us about in Zone Leader Training. He read us the scripture about the Great Captain Moroni. 

"And it came to pass as the armies of the Lamanites had gathered together in the land, behold the armies of the Nephites were prepared to meet them in the land." 

I had the imagery of all of the followers of Christ being armed and ready to fight against Satan and his followers. Oh, how great this battle has become. I imagined us rushing forward to fight Satan, to defend our families, our friends and our neighbors from the awful grasp of the adversary. I feel so privileged to be God's warrior, to defend this world from the grasp of Satan.


As I read this scripture, I imagined Captain Moroni leading his army — Moroni was a mighty man, a man of God. He revolutionized the strategy of war. He made preparations, he prepared his warriors and he was always one step ahead of the Lamanites. It has hit me so strongly this week that Heavenly Father needs me to be like Moroni. I need to be one step ahead of Satan and predict where he is going to focus his battle. I read through Preach My Gospel this morning and made a list of where I think Satan is going to attack, and my plan to fight back. I know with God's help, I am going to make Satan one angry warrior. He will fail. He is not going to win. And I am going to be one of his worst enemies.

I think this is true in all of our lives. I would invite all of you to pick something that Satan keeps getting you at, and make a plan to fight back! Don't let him win! Just like it says in the scriptures,

"If all men were and had and were  and ever would be like unto Moroni, behold the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever yea the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men. "

Let's shake the the powers of hell, shall we?!?! I feel like irritating Satan this week, Please help me out!!!

Love you all. You are the bestest ever. You can do hard things!!!! Don't freeze (those of you in Utah).

The pain of not listening

SAN DIEGO — I can't believe another week has gone by! Yesterday it was 80 degrees, people were mowing lawns and they all had their Christmas lights up! It is weirding me out! I keep thinking it is summer time!

To answer some questions:

Thanksgiving is actually just another day in the mission field. The Mormon Battalion is open every day — including Sundays and holidays — so I worked there in the morning and we had a Battalion Thanksgiving that the senior couples put together and then we were out in our area at night. It was a wonderful Thanksgiving, though!

Grandma, you would be proud, one of the senior couples is from Twin Falls, so I even got Idaho mashed potatoes and "grandma rolls" that were almost as good as yours!

For Christmas, we will get to either call or skype (unless president clayton changes the rules). We will only have about 30-40 minutes. I think I can do a conference call, I'm not exactly sure what that is?  But please send the number just in case.

As for things that are going on here: I have learned a great lesson this week of following the Spirit that I wanted to share with you. Here are two clips from my journal that will tell the story....

Friday, November 26, 2011

I took Sister Burden on exchanges in our area today. She is such an amazing missionary. We were able to teach a lot of people and contact a lot of referrals. We tried to contact Mckaela later in the evening. Mckaela is a foreign exchange student from Germany that we street contacted in August and she asked for a German Book of Mormon, but every time we tried  to contact her, the host family was really cold and told us she was not there.

Luckily, one of the sons answered the door and we were able to ask for Mckaela. Well, he told us in the not of nicest terms that we were out too late and that Mckaela was getting ready for bed. He started shutting the door, and I felt the Spirit tell me, "Sister Newman, she needs that Book of Mormon", but I let the moment pass and he shut the door.

Walking back to the car, the feeling wouldn't go away, so Sister Burden and I turned around, and walked back to the house so we could at least leave the German Book of Mormon with the host family. This time, the mom answered and she in the really not of nicest terms told us to leave and slammed the door in our face. We were forced to leave the book on the doorstep for her. I learned a great lesson tonight- LISTEN TO THE SPIRIT.

I can't describe the feelings in my heart of guilt and sadness that my lack of following the Spirit brought. Thank goodness for the Atonement, for I know Heavenly Father will prepare away for Mckaela to again receive the message of the Gospel.

 

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Today, I learned another lesson on following the Spirit. You think I would be better at this by now, especially because I was chastised only a few days ago from not listening to Heavenly Father. I don't know how many times it is going to take me to learn to trust in Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost, but apparently at least one more time.

On our way to visit a former investigator's home, we ran into a guy walking his two boxer dogs. Naturally we walked up to him (not only because he had 2 dogs that reminded me of Peaches and Dakota, but that was a bonus!). After talking to him and sharing our message, he thanked us and left. As he was walking away, I felt Heavenly Father remind me that I needed his number, but he was already walking away, so I ignored the prompting. As we turned and started walking to the former's home, Sister Kennington mentioned that she, too, was reminded to get his number and did not.

My heart sunk to the floor — was my lack of acting on prompting going to affect this man's salvation?!? I practically begged Heavenly Father to give me another chance, promising that I would act on that prompting without delay. As we turned the corner to our former's home, there was the guy and his boxers! You better believe I asked for his number! There was no way I would fail to act this time. I have gained such a stronger testimony of listening to the Spirit. When you seek guidance from heaven, that is when miracles happen.

 

These past two days reminded me of a story from the Mormon Battalion that I want to share with you. I can't remember the story I shared last week, so I hope this isnt the same one.

 

"By November 17, the battalion had left the Rio Grande and was traveling in a southwesterly direction. On Nov. 20, Colonel Cooke's guides reported that they could not find a practical route to the west. Mexican traders told Cooke the only reasonable route was southeast to Janos in Sonora. In addition, they explained to Cooke that he could replenish his provisions, a fact that weighed heavily on Cooke's long list of worries.

"It appeared that cookes mind was set; the battalion would change directions and march towards Sonora. Cooke's decision, taking them away from and not towards California, so distressed Levi Hancock, the leading church authority in the battalion, that he asked the men to pray that night to change the colonel's mind. The following day Cooke set out for Janos and after the battalion had marched for several miles, he suddenly changed his mind, declaring that general Kearney's orders were to march to California. Consequently, the battalion changed directions and once again began traveling toward California. Many soldiers believed Cooke's decision to abandon the march to Janos came as a direct answer to prayer."

 

I know that Colonel Cooke listened to the Spirit. I am confident that because of that, the men did not have to fight in a single battle. It has been weighing on my mind a lot how important it is to listen to the Spirit, and I am so thankful Heavenly Father has once again taught me that lesson. The Spirit is constantly around, always trying to give us nudges, and pushes in the right direction. But it is so delicate, so soft, so quiet, that it takes such practice to hear its promptings and even more practice and courage to act on them.

 

The Spirit talks to all of us, to you to me every day, all the time. It is just up to us to listen and act. Miracles happen when we listen and do something from the messages we receive from heaven. I know that is true!

 

I love you all, I am so glad you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!