Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Challeged testimony, challenging companion

SAN DIEGO — Family, I love you so much! I have to be quick today because I only have 20 minutes to write.

I only have time to share something from my journal. But I want to give you an update on Robert and Michael. Both are getting baptized in the next few weeks! Hallelujah! It is amazing to see how much they have changed! We also are now teaching a new investigator, Archie. His mom and sisters are baptized. He is so awesome!

September 12, 2011

Today was an answer to a week full of many hours on my knees in earnest prayer to Heavenly Father. This week has been so rough. Sister Nelson and I have been having a rough time being unified, so of course Heavenly Father has not been able to bless us.

I have been so worn out this week with so many things: trying to figure out how to have more charity for my companion, how to help my investigators feel the Holy Ghost testifying to the truth of what we are teaching, and trying to learn how to be a better teacher. I think Satan is really trying to pull me down. What a dumbhead! I guess it is a compliment from Satan. I must be doing something right if he is trying so hard to get me to fail. I have to admit, though I am honestly ashamed to, I let Satan batter my testimony this week.

Having people constantly bashing my testimony and giving me hundreds of reasons why God doesn't exist or why the LDS Church is wrong, I let myself wonder about what I know is true. Getting that day after day causes one to really think hard about their testimony- something I have honestly been searching my soul about this week. It was so scary for me to have doubts and wonderings about my testimony, especially being a missionary. What I do is testify of the truth! How could I be doubting?!? I have spent so many hours on my knees in earnest prayer, asking Heavenly Father to help remind me of the testimony I know I have always had. My answer didn't come all at once, but each day this week, Heavenly Father has shown me that He is real, that He loves me and truly does care about me.

On Wednesday as I was teaching Tai, (an atheist) an testifying to him that there is a God who loves him, I felt the spirit say, "Brittany! I do love him! I love all of you!".

On Thursday when we had the blackout, I was sitting outside looking up at the stars, and I realized how much Heavenly Father has given us. There is so much beauty all around, we just have to put on the right lenses to see it clearly!

On Friday while we were working at the temple, a man named Hector walked right up to the front doors and said he was spiritually lost and wanted to learn about the church. God does number his sheep!

On Sunday as I stood singing in front of a group of people, about "one who knows us perfectly" as it said in the song, I stood proudly with my head held high, for I knew that I was a daughter of God.

Today as we were walking away from a members home who wasn't home, a guy rode past on his bike. We waved and said hello and kept on walking. He (Gabe) turned his bike around and rode up to us and asked us if we were Mormon. He lives with some members of the Church and asked to learn more. God is so mindful of all of us! He wants all of His children to hear the Gospel!

If that is not an answer to my prayers, I don't know what is. I am so thankful to Heavenly Father for that reminder. I do know that God lives. He is real, He is my Father!

I love you all. I want you to know that no matter what hard things come to you in life, God is there. He loves you. Don't let Satan get you down, don't let him tear at your testimony like I did. He wants you to fail! If you are struggling and aren't sure, I promise you, that if you ask with a sincere heart, God will show you that He is real, He will answer your prayers. I don't know how or when, but i do know He will.


Nick: I haven't gotten mail today, but thank you for sending me a letter! Also, I can't get on that site, but our branch president read us parts of it from President Monson's blog (in the Washington Post) - SO GOOD! Thanks for thinking of me!

Dad: Thanks for the BYU updates! We lost by one point?!????? GRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I can't believe I'm missing the first season we are Independent! This is SO exciting! Um- LIZZIE ENGAGED? I'm speechless- How exciting for her! My friend Maureen from nursing school is having a BABY! Wow, time sure does go by so fast! Wow. You might go back to Finland- SO SO SO SO SO JEALOUS!!!!!

Mom: We do go to the CES firesides (only because we are YSA missionaries) But, there was a missionary fireside that night, so we actually couldn't make it. Sister Nelson loves to sing, so we and 4 other sisters did a musical number, called "Let it begin" from EFY 2010. Can you believe I, Sister Newman, sang in front of a microphone with an actual audience?!? Yeah. I bet you are all speechless! Heavenly Father is finding many ways to get me to do things out of my comfort zone.

Speaking of things I don't normally do, Sara was asking what I do to work out in the mornings. I run around the Old Town Square for 15 minutes, and then the next 15 minutes consist of push ups, situps, lunges, squats, all of that fun stuff. Sis, You would be so impressed at my pathetically wimpy arms: you can almost see some muscle in there now!

Oh and about what I do with only having 15 minutes to eat: I have learned how to eat really really fast (no worries mom, I am the healthiest eater at the Battalion thanks to an awesome example of a mother!).

Mom, you called Sister Haggerty's mom. She was in the hospital this week. They don't know what is wrong with her, but if you could pray for her that would be great.

Someone asked about the power outage a few days ago. It was out from about 11 in the afternoon to 3 in the morning. We all had to come in from our areas and study and things. People had to leave the Battalion, and not finish the tours. I don't know how it worked out, but none of our food was spoiled- THANK GOODNESS, because we had just gone shopping!

Ray: Thank you for the email! So glad to hear everyone is doing well! I hope to see you today, if not, hope ya know I love ya! Tell your family hello for me!

Love you all with all my heart! Have a good week!

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