Tears

Well Hello Family!

I am writing you with tears dripping down my face. I hope you know how much I love you! I am such a leaky faucet sometimes — I just read your names on the envelope and I start crying! I think being away from home was a good way Heavenly Father wanted to remind me how much you all mean to me. All of you: friends, family, roommates, you all mean the world to me. Thank you for your inspiration in my life! Thank you for all the love you send my way. I won't have time to answer everyone's letters this week because our P-day is cut short, but I want you to know I love you!

I'm trying to think of things that have happened this week. Honestly, it has been a long, hard week of trying to find people to teach. We got stopped by an atheist this week. It is so hard to talk to people that just want to argue. Mostly because I can feel how much Heavenly Father wants to wrap them in His arms, and they don't even see it. For some reason, every time someone is angry, they never look at Sister Tardiff: they always stare me down. It is actually pretty funny, because Sister Tardiff just laughs at me, I just don't get why they can't look at and ask questions to both of us.

Sister Burden (one of the sisters that works at the Mormon Battalion) her dad visited this week. I introduced myself to him and he stopped and stared at me for a second and then said, "I used to know a girl who looks just like you and her last name was Newman. Do you know a Dona Newman Staples?" I, of course, said yes! His name is John Burden, He said he used to date Aunt Dona. If she doesn't read this, you will have to ask her about it.

I think I told you about Martha, the woman we met on the street a few weeks ago. She is really interested in the Gospel. Sister Tardiff and I have been praying to find a family to teach and I know this is an answer to our prayers. I can't describe how amazing it is to see how the Gospel changes people's lives. I will keep you up-to-date on her.

To answer some of your questions:

When are transfers?

Transfers are next Tuesday. Can you believe I have been out six weeks?

How do you get the people you teach?

Some of the people we teach come from ward members and investigators who give us names of people they want us to teach. Other people we find on the street, and others Heavenly Father has sent us straight into our hands.

What was it like for you to go through the temple?
Going through the temple was one of the best experiences of my life. Making those promises with God that will bring me closer to Him and allow me to one day live with my family and God forever, with more joy than I could ever imagine, is the best thing anyone could ever ask for. As I sat in the temple with my family all dressed in white, I have never felt closer to heaven in my life. I love the temple with all my heart. Who wouldn't want to go to a place that almost touches heaven, right? I am so lucky that I get to visit the San Diego temple every other transfer. This next transfer is my turn. I can't wait!

Okay, time is almost up, so let me share an entry from my journal this week:

August 4 2011

This morning as I was walking around Old Town Square for exercise, I was talking to Sister Lewis and she was telling me about a story she heard. ( I don't know where she read it, but if someone wants to look it up, feel free) Spencer W. Kimball, who was serving as a Seventy to Harold B. Lee at the time felt so inadequate. President Lee noticed his feelings of inadequacy and said, "Spencer, you need to try to be the best version of Spencer and not a bad version of Harold!" I realize that I have been letting feelings of inadequacy cloud my faith, especially as I have fallen prey to Satan's trap of having me compare myself to others. I went to the bathroom to pray for Heavenly Father's help. I can't explain the feelings of love He helped me feel.

Shout-outs:

Sister Mears: Thank you for sending that letter and the essay. I haven't had a chance to read it yet, but I am so excited! I am glad to hear Tyson is doing well, I have no doubt he is such an amazing missionary.

Sister Thompson: Thank you for your letter, especially that quote. I really needed to hear that today. I can't believe Jessica has started school. Wow, that is so crazy. It is good for us to have that experience though. I think college is one of the places that really helped me rely more on my Heavenly Father.

Juli: Thank you for the letter. You know it is KILLING ME not to know what happens with Bones and Booth. That is okay though, I have so many things to think about here, but I feel a Bones marathon coming when I get back:) Me and you girl, Mom's house, candy, and the boys can babysit.

Annalie: Thank you princess for that beautiful picture. I am going to hang it on my fridge once I get home. You are such an artist!

Marianne: I got your card. THANK YOU so much for that. You are such a lifesaver, and such an example to me. I really do look up to you more than you know. Tell Lucy and your parents hello for me!

Karen and the girls: Hello Ladies! Hope you are doing well. I love you all!

Grammy: Thanks for writing me so often. I love you so much. I think of you and Gramps all the time. I was playing UNO for P-day last week, and thought of all the hours you spent with me and Sara playing games. Thank you so much for those memories!

I want you all out there to know that you are NEVER inadequate in the eyes of God. He created you. He wants you to be the best YOU you can be. Satan is the one who wants you to think less of yourself than you are. Don't let him win! You are daughters and sons of God! You are perfect, because He is perfect and He made you.